Josef Fritzl copypasta

Copypasta about the thunder from downunder, Josef Fritzl!

But first, a few fun facts

• Josef Fritzl was asked what his approach was to his children's sex education. "I like to keep them in the dark", he said.
• 70% of Australian homes are reportedly equipped with fully upgradeable rape-dungeons.
• Josef Fritzl, putting the "rape" back in "grape".
• Josef Fritzl created a new meme, "BRB, RAPE"
• Fritzl fed his grandchildren nothing but sandwiches for 24 years...good thing they were inbred, moar like inBREAD, amirite? Get it, because they ate sandwiches?
• Australian women are like a fine wine, best left to mature in a cellar
• As suspected, we can ascertain that Australians are proud of their national hero. God Speed, Josef.
• Only Australians use the word "Dingbat".

So cash

Josef and his daughter. Photograph courtesy of his grandaughter/daughter.

Hey Faggots,

My name is Josef, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at my stupid pictures. I will rape everything in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on Facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I've refurnished my basement, and have seven kids/grandkids. What have you done, other than jack off to naked drawn Japanese people? I get laid ANY time I want, and I have a banging hot daughter (I just raped her; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

Alternate Version

Hey (Grand) children,

My name is Josef, and I am going to rape every single one of you. All of you are attractive, under aged lolis who spend every second of their day getting raped in my basement. You are everything that is attractive in this basement. Honestly, have any of you ever seen daylight? I mean, I guess it's fun getting repeatedly raped by me, but you all take being rape victims to a whole new level. This is even worse than making a whiny YouTube video about your rape experiences.

Don't be frigid. Just give me your best head. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the rape team, and we went all the way to the Australian nationals. What sports do you play, other than hide grandfather's purple parsnip? I also mentally scar children for life, and have a banging hot daughter (She just blew me; Shit was SO non-consensual). You are all my grandchildren who should just keep quiet and spread your legs for me every other day. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and your mother

Appearance on ED Users mailing list

Fritzl shocked EDiots everywhere by posting on their super-sekrit mailing list:

From: "Josef Fritzl" <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: [ED Users] Hey faggots
Date: Fri, 02. Oct 2009 12:28:11

Hey (Grand) children,

My name is Josef, and I am going to rape every single one of you. All of you are
attractive, under aged lolis who spend every second of their day getting raped in my
basement. You are everything that is attractive in this basement. Honestly, have any
of you ever seen daylight? I mean, I guess it's fun getting repeatedly raped by me,
but you all take being rape victims to a whole new level. This is even worse than
making a whiny YouTube video about your rape experiences.

Don't be frigid. Just give me your best head. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain
of the rape team, and we went all the way to the Australian nationals. What sports
do you play, other than hide grandfather's purple parsnip? I also mentally scar
children for life, and have a banging hot daughter (She just blew me; Shit was SO
non-consensual). You are all my grandchildren who should just keep quiet and spread
your legs for me every other day. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and your mother

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/thumb/1/17/Shit_was_so_cellar.jpg/180px-Shit_was_so_cellar.jpg

Fritzlmon

Ash Fritzl

I wanna be, the very best,
like no dad ever was.
To trap them is my real test,
To rape them is my cause.... *dun dun DUNN!*
Hidden basement, beneath my house,
Just for you and me...
Teaching my kids, to like the rape
Until she was forty-three!

FRITZL CASE!
(gotta rape em' ..) Its you and me,
In a bucket i made you pee
FRITZL CASE!
Oooooohhh, you got seven kids..
Because of incest and my jiiizzz!..
FRITZL CASE!
(gotta rape em..) You're black and bluueee..
Through the beatings i put you through,
You escape me and ill rape you.
FRITZL CASSSEEEE!
GOTTA RAPE 'EM ALL
GOTTA RAPE 'EM ... ALLL!

FRITZL CASE!

Never gonna give you up (Fritzl-version)

We're no strangers to rape
You know the rules and so do I
A basement sex slave's what I'm thinking of
Do as I say or there's no food tonight

I just wanna show that daddy loves you
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you out
Never gonna tell your mum I rape you
Never gonna let you die
I really love it when you cry
Never gonna say goodbye and release you.

We've been at it, for so long
Your cunt's still aching
But your scared to say it
Inside it's like a fucking ketchup bomb
But you know the game and you're gonna play it

And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Daddy will, LET YOU KNOW...

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you out
Never gonna tell your mum I rape you
Never gonna let you die
I really love it when you cry
Never gonna say goodbye and release you.

You're never gonna see the sky
Never gonna learn to drive
Let's stop singing this song, and make a baby!

Fresh Prince of Cell-Air

The Fresh Prince of Cell-Air

Now this is a story all about how my
Life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I become the prince of my house’s Cel-Air

In west Australia born and raised
On my daughter is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool
And all beatin' some loli outside of the school
When a couple of years they were up to no good
Started agein' lolis in my neighborhood
I got one little erection and my mom got scared
And said, "You're movin' with your hot teenage daughter in Cel-Air."

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said “CHRIS” and it had dice in the mirror
If anything they could say that my girl was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to Cel-Air!"

She crawled out of the house after 7 offspring
And she yelled to the cabby "yo Hansen, my sav’ya"
Looked at my kingdom I sure wish she was there
To sit on my girl as the prince of Cel-Air.

Alternate Version

Now this is a story all about how my
Life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I become the prince of my house’s Cellair

In west Australia born and raised
Fucking my daughter is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool
and building incest dungeons underneath my pool
I took three kids out cuz they were all good
told my wife they were just children from the neighborhood.
I fucked just one of my daughters the police got scared
But they don't know the pin-code to my daughter's Cellair.

They called the partyvan and when it got near
The license plate said “AUSTRALIA” and it had dice in the mirror
"you crazy" they said, "those ideas in your head are rare,"
I said, "cool homes, it's rape time, home, to Cellair!"

She crawled out the house after 7 offspring
And she yelled to the cops "Yo, I can't speak Australian"
But I'm still pimping, I got three more lairs,
so come and party with me, in my second Cellair.

---

Fritzl Fritzl Baby

Fritzl Fritzl Baby

Alright stop
Collaborate and listen Fritzls back with a brand new intention
Josef grabs a hold of you tightly , locked in the basement daily and nightly
Will it ever stop yo, i don't know
Turn out the lights and she'll blow
To the extreme, I cum inside like a vandal
Flip the bitch over and shove it straight in her asshole

24 years got you locked in this room
I'm killing your brain and filling up your womb
Deadly when I father 7 kids is hardly
Anything less than the best of a felony
Love it or leave it you better not escape
You try to put it in her but the kid wont play
If there is a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out my cellar before the five-oh dissolve it

Now that the party is jumping
With your ass locked in and the kid gets a thumping
Quick to the point to the point no faking
Im churning out kids like a pound of bacon
Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a twin 'bro
And a siren with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo

Rollin' in my 5.0
With my pants pulled down with my dick she'll blow
My wifes on standby waving just to say hi
Did you stop no I just came by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a nut and I'm heading to the next block
The bitch was dead
Yo so I continued to A1A Melbourne Avenue
Daughters hot wearing less than bikinis
CP lovers driving Lamborghinis

Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
His sister with a guage and Fritzl with his nine
Squeeling tie the bitch on the wall
The wifes acting ill because i emptied my balls on my
Daughter she rang out like a bell
I grabbed my dick and fucked her in the mouth like hell
Falling on the concrete real fast
Went to the basement and then i put it in her ass
Bumper to bumper the pussy was packed
I tried to get away before the jackers jacked
Police on the scene, you know what I mean
They locked me up, and then they threw away the key
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out my dungeon while my wife comes and cleans it

---

Set Me Free

When I found myself locked in a dungeon,
Daddy Josef raping me
He will not use a condom,
Set me free

And peering through the darkness,
He is standing, wanking over me,
I cannot stand this cellar, Set me free
Set me free, set me free, set me free, set me free
Get some heating in the dungeon, or set me free.
And how can mummy be so blinkered,
She's living directly over me,
But dad's soundproofed the cellar,
Set me free.

And though my kids are inbred,
There's a chance that daylight, they will see,
They are all web handed, set them free,
Set them free, set them free, set them free, set them free,
The Kids are seven fingered, set them free.
And when the kids are rowdy,
Daddy's torch is shining down on me,
"I'll let you out tomorrow", he tells me.
I wake up to the sound of sirens,
The police have come to rescue me,
Now i've got Stockholm syndrome,
Leave me be.

Set them free, set them free,
The kids are seven fingered, Set them free,
Leave me be, leave me be,
I've got Stockholm syndrome, leave me be.

---

My Basement
Uh, uh
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
My basement, uh, uh
Basement, feel the beat, uh
Haha, can y'all feel that
Can y'all feel that
Jig it out, uh

They never get to see the light of the day
My basement, my kids, it's all okay
Oh yeah i'm a grandpa, fuckin my kids
in a most christian way
So i shoot a little something, lay the rest to spill
i aint gonna pay no electricity bill
I'm a decent lad, don't wanna make her sad
when i cum in her she screams (OH DAD!)
Accept my invitaion, all ages and races
Real sweet faces
Every different nation, Spanish, Hatian, Indian, Jamaican
Black, White, Cuban, and Asian
I only came down for two days of playing
But everytime I come I always wind up stayin
This the type of room I could spend a few days in
Pumpin in my basement keeps the rood blazin

[Chorus]
Incest in the house where the light is off
Fucking all night till the break of dawn
Welcome to my basement
Willkommen in meinem Keller
Bouncin in my crib where the heat is on
Fucking all night till the break of dawn
I'm going to my basement
Willkommen in meinem Keller
[Chorus]

Yo it's Fritzl, i use the back door
My daughter's a slut, and my son was a whore
I kid around, may he rest in peace
I filled him up with my home made cheese
he was obese and he could beg and please
but no, dad ain't gonna call no muddafukking police
when he died and all, put him on the grill
put a sofa in the garden, i was set to chill
Five-hundred degrees
Ain't no other chef with skills like me
You can't disagree
Everytime I cook a kid, they want a taste
I say no muddafukka, that's food waste
So, lock the door
You're trapped inside hoe
Rapey rapey anywhere you go
Yo, ain't no basement in the world like this
Mind ya own bizz, i'm australian not swiss

Chorus

Don't tell me I'm wrong, the basement is where i belong
And Amstetten is the city that we know don't sleep
Don't fuckin weep when I go in deep
Y'all don't understand
How I am a scientist experimenting with sleep deprivation
Molestation and heavy medication
In the basement i just do sperm donation
Nothing wrong with it
Damn, you look sexy
Let's go downstairs, visit my heirs
Ride my jetski, suck on my palm tree
Cause you gotta have cheese for the summerhouse piece on South Beach
Dark in here, you can't see in or out
Recieve my dicksauce like a girl scout
Ain't no surprise, this room is full of foam
The Basement, my second home

Chorus to fade...

---

Under the Floor
Who needs all the warm bright sunshine
Who needs all the cool fresh air
You want to contract skin cancer?
You will if you go up there
Ach, too many scary dangers
Up there in the world above
Down here you are safe from strangers
Down here you get Daddy's love

Under the floor
Under the floor
Life is so sweet behind our concrete reinforced door
So nice and quiet underground
'Cause it is proofed against the sound
There's no escaping while I am raping under the floor

Under the floor
Under the floor
Under the floor
Under the floor
Quite a field day for my DNA, that is for sure
Ach, who cares what the law forbids?
People should spend time with their kids
Ya, she's my daughter, that's how I caught her
It's dark and damp, like our own little camp
Sweet isolation
One big vacation, under the floor

---

Just Can't Get Enough
When I do you baby
I go out of my head
Im just too full of lust
And Im just too full of lust
All the things I do to you
The sex we have in bed
Im just too full of lust
Im just too full of lust

I slip and slide into suicide
And I just can't seem to grow a pair of

We fuck together
We're fucking til you bleed
And Im just too full of lust
And Im just too full of lust
Every time I think of you
I know you have my seeds
And Im just too full of lust
Im just too full of lust

It's getting hotter
Then Satan's balls
And I just can't seem to grow a pair of

And when it rains
A yellow shower will be dear
And Im just too full of lust
And Im just too full of lust
Just like a Homo
You take it in the ass
And Im just too full of lust
And Im just too full of lust

You're like a rat
Trapped in my cage
And Im just too full of lust

MOAR COPYPASTA

The Daughter

WHEN I WAS
A YOUNG GIRL
MY FATHER
TOOK ME INTO THE CELLAR
AND KEPT ME THERE TO STAY
HE SAID
BITCH WHEN
YOU GROW UP
WILL YOU BE
THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN
AND KNOW THAT IT'S OKAY
HE SAID
WILL YOU
KEEP QUIET
AND BLOW ME
ON EVERY OTHER WEEK NIGHT
WITH SEX ON SATURDAYS
BECAUSE ONE DAY
I'LL LEAVE YOU
A PHANTOM
AND PUT YOU IN THE SPOTLIGHT
OH WHAT A GRAND CHARADE

Apt For Rent, Australia

A cozy Two Bedroom Apartment.

Landlord seeks new longterm tenant to immediately occupy recently vacated apartment. Tenant would preferably be female. Basement apartment, 2 bedrooms, bathroom and economy kitchen. 650 sq ft.

Special Features: Noise proof so you don't have to hear those pesky neighbors, and secure entrance w/ keycode. Furnished.

Rent is $600 or free in return for rape

Please Contact Josef Fritzl

Fritzlulz: Aged in Basements with Raep

Fritzlbrau special reserve.

THERE ONCE WAS AN AUSTRALIAN NAMED FRITZL
WHO PENETRATED HIS DAUGHTER WITH SCHNITZEL
ALONE IN THE DARK
SHE HOWLED AND SHE BARKED
'CAUSE THROUGH YEARS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE HER FATHER HAD CONVINCED HER SHE WAS A STUPID BITCH

Pissed off Australian pasta

Ok you yankee sons of bitches, I'm sick to fucking death of all you saying this fella is Australian. He's from Austria, in fucking Europe you dingbats. I wouldn't care because you're just making yourselves look stupid except this shit is getting pasted ALL OVER THE FUCKING INTERNET and now everyone's saying he's Australian, strewth. I'm Australian and you're giving us a bad name by being stupid yanks who have no knowledge of anything outside their own country. Now either learn the difference between AUSTRALIA and AUSTRIA or rack off. Crikey!