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EDF1

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This is an article about the ancient, defunct circlejerk forums. The second edition can be found at EDF2: Electric Boogaloo. For the awesome live forums, go to EDF6.

The level of the room at EDF

The ED Forums were the official forums for the Encyclopedia Dramatica community at large.

EDF users
Typical #forum "conversation".

It went live July 9th, 2009 after the discovery of a 1337 forumfag named Dan (a refugee from Stile Project's forums) amongst the ranks of ED's multi-talented Sysop crew. The forums were a green company, powered entirely by pure, unadulterated lulz.

EDF was free of charge and welcomed one and all regardless of race, breed or color. However, all the really cool kids hung out in the super secret Paid Members Only forums where they could trade barbs on a variety of boards and get ODB dong pix in exchange for information, which leadto a reliable Opium dealer. The forums are widely known worldwide for hiding furfags and hipsters

   
“ 		 
EDF is the poor man's Something Awful
  		„
  		 

—CazXsom, A brief description of the EDF.

User population ratio between ED Forums and SA Forums at any given time

.

Layout

 
On any given day, you may find something that resembles dog poop.
 
Congratulations to Miss EDF winner: Uno!
   
“ 		 
dan, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Are you colorblind?
  		„
  		 

—Sherrod weighs in on the question of EDF's color theme.

The ED discussion boards had undergone several incarnations regarding the overall look of the site. Pretty much every layout had been retardedly put together by Dan because he felt like he was a master of graphics design. Other themes had been shamelessly stolen off of torrent sites, but since nobody had a current working theme for the forum's software version, all of these ill-gotten themes failed miserably. The last-used theme, one of complete madness, bore a striking resemblance to either a Star Trek forum, where all the users snort airplane glue, or a shitty Geocities site, circa 1997. The only thing missing from this abomination was cursor chasers that looked like sparkly comets.

This failure of design would continue until EDF1 was completely wiped with the destruction of the original website. Dan went completely blind and couldn't make edits to the forum's templates, or when somebody bought the forum a custom theme. Since purchasing a custom theme can cost a administrator several hundreds of dollars, that option seemed to be off the table, pending a lottery win by the forums owner.

Until the very end, the users kept suffering...

Capitalism

 
What happens when you don't show respect, AKA Serious Fucking Business

Recently said suffering has been turned into a form of art, after Dan decided that money can buy anything on EDF. For only a few dollars every attention craving silver spoon licking user can set up terrible, terrible background images or music to agonize the whole forum, or revamp his manhood e-personality with dashing name colors, giant avatars and other fancy atrocities. Having a customized account is the hippest thing on EDF and says a lot about your personality, but nothing you could be proud of.

On the bright side you can also pay to get a hated user or a random stranger banned for a couple of days. Here the mods show that they are not discriminating anyone or anything, as you can ban a mod as well, including Dan himself. Dan's blunt willingness to get abused for money can be explained by his past as a child prostitue in south-east Czechia.

Forums

Swear Word Filter

 
Whatever you do, don't kick dan or you will be punished by having the whole site taken down and ED losing money.

There was a rich variety of word filters filtering bad words into good ones and providing lots of happy confusion for everyone. However, after a grumpy faggot used his lunch money to buy a word filter that changes "caesual" into "fæggot", Dan got irritated and turned all other filters off in December 2009, probably to underline the importance of the remaining fæggot-filter. This affinity to the gay life-style can be explained by Dan's past as a child prostitue in south-east Czechia.

Main Forums

 
 
Moot loves Cæsual Friday

 

 

Articles

  • News - Bizarre, gross, awesome and generally lulzy happenings from around the world.
  • Culture - Are you writing something that doesn't quite fit within the scope of ED? Post it here! Stories are welcome too.

Portals

Beyond the usual forumfaggotry, ED Forums provides yakkin' space to discuss specific topics that are relevant to ED's interests for full and seamless integration with the wiki itself.

 
This is the type of shenanigans that go on daily. Shit is fake, don't believe it. Ever.

Sock Puppets

It's estimated that at least two thirds of all accounts registered on EDF are sockpuppets, most of which belong to banned users. Of course, instead of just taking their ban like a man, they act like the faggots they truly are and use their sockpuppet armies in a attempt to get a mod to bawww. To no one's surprise, they fail at using a proxy and don't realize that mods have the ability to see their ip address, which always results in lulz.

Other Notable Forum Mentions

Memes

 
Forced Memes on EDF are created in the blink of an eye.
 
Hot ass to ass action.

Moderators

 
Cash and his boyz posing for their KZ website.
 
Mod sass doesn't just earn bans: it earns infamy and shame.
 
Dramavan keeps on rolling


Faggots

A Mod's Fall From Grace



JEWS DID MTHRFKN


A once distinguished moderator known colloquially as "that brown guy that makes tl;dr threads" or more formally as mthrfkn was involved in one of the most scandalous events in the forum's history. He decided to dox a user by the name of Kittyloaf; a girl. He throws around some threats at her, for the lulz. The mods and admins decided to make a big fucking deal about it because they are all white knighting homosexuals. mthrfkn gets a bitching out on IRC and a big old ban on all fronts, straight in the anus. If this tale isn't fishy enough already, the user that got dox'd was given mod powers shortly thereafter. Conspiracy...? Definitely. Put on your fucking tin foil hats kids, because shit just got real. To this day, KittyLoaf is evasive concerning the details of the event. mthrfkn dropped off the face of the earth and hasn't been seen since. We may never know the truth.

There are some that believe that he the entire thing was a charade, put on to stir up lulz and drama. Others believe mthrfkn simply transformed in to a new, more beautiful form. Just don't let the mods feed you their lies. Jews did mthrfkn. Do your part by shitposting on the forums and PMing mods to give you the truth.

EDF IRC

The forums' very own channel, #forum is where users go to chat about all things EDF. Just like most IRC networks, conversations generally dissolve in to meaningless diatribes and flaming faggotry.

#forum was where the famous EDF movie night was first conceived. Previous movie nights have included such classics as "Twilight" and "Power Rangers". Users engage in deep debates on the films as well as intelligent critiques. lolno but seriously they all just sit around on their computers and try to make witty comments about the movie to gain e-respect from some other fat nerd on the other end or type in all caps. Think MST3K but without the wit or funniness. It's pretty sad, really.

Skype

Since everybody wanted to hear each other breathing and moaning so much, EDF went hi-tech, and so the local skype club initiated. Generally, every faggot with a microphone can and will join, provided they have a fuckmate that can invite him to their circle of love. Nothing more than what happens in IRC occurs here, except you can masturbate to the voices of your beloved EDiots.

Cultural Depictions of EDF

[[tldr][The EDF War - An epic historical stage play written by Lookman]]

This should sound something like Bohemian Rhapsody

(baya rae's part, opening)

Is it noon, is it night I cannot tell anymore I am but a knight In the EDF war.

Swords keep rising as days delay Keyboards are numb from work day to day As i drift through the bans By the gate i shall stand.

I am but a knight Standing by the gate I have but a fright Is it early or late...

(admins and mods part)

Hammers swift, hammers fly Don't need a reason why Don't need a reason why You should die.

Blood shines our knives As we cut through your spam We can take your lives You're to us but a lamb.

(dan comes in)

My castle, my keep What a great creation, Not a ghost will dare to reep In my great fortification.

(all mods and admins)

And everybody fears, fears Our punishments fierce. How you dare enter here All you can do is pray.

(the mods and admins are dining, lookman the jester comes in)

My kings, my lords, Please, no need for the swords. I come here to announce - The enemies pounce!

A scout in the tower Has warned us of power Of power a-coming Of power here running.

Shields held in the sky Shouting "we will not die!" - My kings, my lords, Let us polish our swords.

(Cash stands up)

Nonsense! This cannot be true! Is this the end of me and you?

(dramacrat)

Silence, Cash, you know it's not - They might be bold but it's all they got, They have the power, we have the mind, On this floor their guts will surely grind...

(sheneequa)

Oh dear, you're giving me a fright I want to run just out of sight! Please tell me this is not another war Or i will march right through this door!

(all men)

Dear queen, we are sorry But this is the story - They shall attack, We will fight back.

(the enemy)

We are the filthy, we are the bad Our songs, our dance will not leave you sad. We are the filthy, we are the great! And we will be the kings - just wait.

We will bash your walls, we will smash your head Oh, remember what i said. We will conquer the world, it's true, it's true This is the end for you, for you.

(baya rae)

Will i ever see my kids, Will i ever feel a kiss. The enemy approach, we're all done! It's a shame i just can't run, run, run.

(battle scene begins, epic god music starts playing. Scout in the tower)

Brothers, equip your cold, hard swords The enemy is moving at us towards! Split your veins, load your bows The enemy approach in five, six rows!

(Cash screams)

I will not die today! You will remember what i say! Horror, love, fear and pain All shall drown in this hollow rain!

(an enemy knight with dark armor and hood enters, everybody kills everybody, the battle ends, and the knight whispers)

My work here is done, i avenged my glory This is the end of mine and their story. I have defeated myself and them My work here is finally, finally done.

(hood falls off, knight revealed to be mthrfkn)

TO BE CONTINUED...........


[[tldr][The EDF War: Avenger - Part 2 of the epic historical poem written by Lookman]]

(baya rae, opening)

My body lies on the ground As the rain falls all around... I just stare into the sky And just wait until i die.

And the bells ring oh so nice - Is it rain, is it my eyes? - They glisten oh so bright Over the dark EDF night.

(D-malice, Rice and Alfonso)

And why did we have to die Will anybody tell us, why? The rain shall not be forgot When the dreadful arrows shot.

Blood runs down our clothes As the enemy retreats in five, six rows. They left us on the ground The EDF War cannot be stand.

(zaiger rides in the castle)

What is this? What was that? Who's this cursed filthy rat! I traveled far, far away Can't I just leave for a day?

No, I am just astonished - My castle is demolished!... What was that, who was this? This has ruined all my bliss!...

(cash runs in)

My lordship, my liege - This was a siege! They slayed us all, They crushed the wall!

(zaiger)

Who did this? Who could dare? Was it SteveJoe? That fool Stare?

(cash)

Neither, sir, neither, king, It was the little evil thing, It was the little evil knight, Mthrfkn, now out of sight.


(zaiger)

...I heard enough... ...Was he that tough? Nevermind, Cash, Their heads i will smash.

Whoever still stands With a sword in their hands Bring them to the gates, We will drown our hate.

(zaiger, baya rae, knots and truthillusion are riding towards the dark castle)

(zaiger, knots and truthillusion)

Good or bad, dark or light, It doesn't matter if it's day or night, Heads will roll, throats will slit, You better be afraid were in a rage fit.

(baya rae)

But do we need this war, Do I need to watch this gore? I cannot stand. I will not cry, But i will keep on asking why...

(zaiger, at the gate)

Filthy maggots, dirty snakes! Best open these rusty gates! We'll not kill you, don't you fear, But you all shall gather round here.

(the enemy, as the EDF knights walk through them)

My pretties, my pretties, Welcome to our city, Welcome to your hell, Welcome to our shell.

Oh, what shiny knights, Let's give them some frights, Like we gave them at their fort Last dusk we left them short...

(after entering the main stronghold)

My warriors, my brothers, Stay, guard the others. I will end this war Right at this door.

(Zaiger, at the throne room)

Mthrfkn, we meet once more, Just as the day you marched through my door. You were so little, you were so small, You were the best member of them all.

(mthrfkn, while looking through the window)

Now you apologize, now you repell It is too bad you are now in hell. You promised me safety, you promised me heaven But i was betrayed, i was killed by my brethren.

(zaiger)

It was none of my fault, it was none of my actions We were always in the very same factions. Mthrfkn, you leave me no choice But to permanently silence your sweet little voice.

(plot twist, baya rae enters the room)

I can't let you do that, my dear lord. You'll have to slowly put down your sword. You'll have to drown your hate on someone other - I will not let you murder my father.

(zaiger)

What is this, Baya, i don't understand Mthrfkn brang you on this land?

(mthrfkn)

Son, let father take care of this matter. Zaiger, you've seen too much, you now must shatter.

(mthrfkn is ready to strike Zaiger but baya rae quickly STABS HIS FATHER.)

(Baya Rae, almost crying)

This was difficult, father, it was. You think this does not hurt, it truly does. But there is a cause, there is a reason, I end your season.

I wanted your kiss, i wanted your love, But all you seduced were people above. Desu you loved, Uno adored, But your own son left you bored.

As for you, Zaiger... This is what i will do. This war was started just because of you. My dearest apologies, my greatest lord, But sadly, you will feel the sword.

(to be possibly continued....)


[[tldr][The EDF Documentary: More than that. Written by Lookman]]

(opens up with quiet piano music playing, knots is talking while smoking a cigarette. His hands are shown. Everything is black and white)

-Yeah, you can call it fun, you can call it life, you can call it stupid. Whatever you call it... You just can't describe it. And you won't understand it. Ever. Like, you know, it's... It's, just, whatever you might think about it, it's just more than that.

(opening credits roll)

(camera walking towards a door, then knocks)

-What? Oh, yeah, come in.

(Kazantzakis' place)

Journalist: Was it hard to start EDF? You know, get it going? Kaz: Oh, no. Maybe yes, but if you mean just starting it, no. It's easy, the codes, the programming is easy. Keeping the life in one piece is the difficult part. J: Is there a lot to keeping it in one piece? K: More than you'd imagine. I mean, i'm just the guy who makes the backgrounds and styles and all, you know, but... The life there is difficult. It's as difficult to me as an admin and as a user. J: Do you still feel like a user in the forums? K: Yeah. You know, these guys, all those users, they don't care whether you're an admin or a user. They treat you equal, they treat everybody like worthless rats. J: Worthless rats? K: (laughs). I guess it's just an expression, but like i said, life gets difficult out there.

(camera walking with Cash down the street. it's raining)

C: It depends, man. One guy, like, he might laugh at EDF, call it bullshit, whatever, but shit gets serious. Same shit makes you cry, same shit makes you laugh. J: Are there many conflicts in the ED forums? C: EDF is one big conflict. But were all brothers, were all one big family. Man, sometimes, it's the damn opposite of conflicts. One big swinger party (laughs) J: Is EDF more about being an enemy or being an ally? C: Depends. There's always some shit goin' on, and you always wanna have someone behind your back, but it just doesn't work that way, man.

Kazantzakis: Heh, i guess. Everybody has a friend, why not? But, you know, the people around here are serious. It's not a kindergarden. They don't like getting all soft. Let's just put it this way - you may have "bro's", but you can't have "buddies".

(Lookman's chin visible, face isn't.)

J: Do you ever regret joining EDF? (lookman's silent) J: Does EDF bring joy to you? (silent)

(D-malice)

J: Do you look at the ED forums as a more humorous place or a serious one? DM: There are many different moments, different times. But it's all humor, i guess. J: How do you look at some of the humor there? DM: Well, (sighs), i don't know. Humor is humor. It sometimes gets insulting, it sometimes gets serious, it sometimes gets boring. I don't know. It's different. J: Would you describe EDF as a "funny" place? DM: No. Not at all. Humorous, yes, funny - no.

(uno)

J: Miss EDF. Does the title bring any self-glory to you? U: (laughs). I suppose. J: Would you call EDF sexist? U: Not really. Even if some of the users are, we girls here still understand humor. J: How do you feel as a female on EDF? U: Very good.

(lookman)

J: What lead you to the EDF? L: ....... J: Are you planning to leave? L: ....... J: Are there many things more important than EDF in your life? L: No.

(short clip of kazantzakis browsing edf)

K: Just look at this. Just look at this. Would you call this sane?

(Alfonso the monk)

J: Is EDF discriminating? A: It sure is. But i guess were all used to it. We constantly laugh at each other, i guess discrimination could be the essence of EDF. J: How would you describe the community here? A: Oh, i couldn't describe it. There's many, many people here - artists, poets, programmers - we're one big happy family. (laughs). It doesn't matter who we are, really, it just matters that we're the EDF.

(to be continued)


Gallery

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See Also

 
lololololol SO TRUE

External Links


  EDF1 is part of a series on

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  EDF1 Faggots

@D-malice
@DestinyMew
@Faust and Pory
@LittleCloud
@Moon beam 750
@Negi Springfield
@Kale
@Kazantzakis
@Klondikebar

 EDF1 Faggotry

@Casual Friday
@ChadSyphrett
@DeCadence Comic
@Door1Edward0
@Mod Sass
@Sheneequa Turns Four

   EDF2 Faggots

@Alenonimo
@beefrave
@BMO
@Conrad Alan Rockenhaus
@DGTrixie
@DrMusic2
@dropdatwat
@Flaglerchat
@Hayakain
@Lazerbot
@Likeicare
@Michael Horowitz Foster
@Mikemikev
@milwin
@NaokoElric2250
@Onideus Mad Hatter
@Pæperclip
@RabidAntiRadFem
@Schnookums
@Silverhaze06
@TheDOSFag
@Tom Preston
@vermin
@zaiger

 EDF2 Faggotry

@Bullet to the Head of the NRA
@Cigarsex
@Cloudflare
@Dislikes
@Faggot of the Year
@George Zimmerman's Big Game Hunter
@Longseet
@The Clown Prince Rises
@Wilkins Coffee

   EDF6 Faggots

@aediot
@BiteySnek
@Branman65
@dropdatwat
@graykat
@Linkermann
@Umkemesik
@VideoGamePhenom
@Walter_Spencer_1488

 EDF6 Faggotry

@Faggot of the Year @Rule 34 League

 

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