Brian Williams

Thought to be a distant cousin of Swirl Face, Brian Williams is an anchor for NBC Nightly News with a crooked face. He spends most of his time being unfunny and pissing people off. Many may wonder: how can you be a news anchor and have your face shown on national television every day with such a fucked-up face?

Brian Williams showing off his crooked face

Apple uses Brian Williams as a marketing puppet

Brian Williams showing how many inches he can currently take

How it Got That Way

Several theories attempt to explain this monstrosity. The ones that have been proven false are crossed out.

• He got his face caught in a throttling wood-chipper.
• He pissed off a tough guy, and they beat him up.
• He got surgery to make it like that because it looks 1337.
• He got bit by a radioactive spider, but instead of being able to shoot jizz from his wrists, his face became crooked.
• Bigboxbear sat on his face.
• Ahotwheelscar forgot to put on his diapers and shit on his face.
• Royce Gracie smashed his face in just for the lulz.
• He divided by zero. Oh shi-!!!
• He tried to suck two nigger cocks at once.
• His face is imitating his dick.