aXXo

If you pirate movies illegally using the bittorrent protocol, chances are you have run into the name aXXo. aXXo is the name of an individual or group of individuals who has been raping the MPAA since at least 2005 by ripping and uploading DVD movies (often before the movie has been released in theaters) that are considered the perfect size and quality for burning your own DVDs to play in your home. If you have any information regarding aXXo and his (or their) whereabouts, several law enforcement entities would love to sit down and have a chat with you.

History So Far

Artist's concept art of aXXo

Ascii signature of the famed ripper

In late 2005, a poster going by the nickname "aXXo" on the Darkside Release Group forum began uploading illegally ripped DVD quality files in a blatant effort geared to rip-off movie stars, film production companies, and you. Whoever this felon was, he quickly gained the reputation for uploading incredible quality DVD rips that always came in under 700 MB, the perfect size for burning your movies to CD so that you can play the files in the comfort of your own home. Fuelled by this popularity, aXXo uploaded over 1000 DVD rips in short order, culminating in his final release (as of this writing) of the very shitty movie Punisher: War Zone in March of 2009.

In 2007 the entity known as aXXo emoquit the file sharing community known as The Pirate Bay, stating the cause to be butthurt over the fact that some people were picking on him (or them). This really did not have any lasting effect on the users of The Pirate Bay, because other enterprising thieves just stole the movie rips made by aXXo on other file sharing networks and simply re-uploaded them to The Pirate Bay. Because of this, the users of The Pirate Bay gained both the excellent quality of aXXo’s rips without having to hear him cry and moan like a 9-year-old girl about the "Meanies who said bad things to him".

It is speculated that because aXXo generally acts like a butthurt 12-year-old, he actually might be a butthurt 12-year-old. Perhaps for this reason the MPAA has not arrested or prosecuted any person or persons ascribing to the title aXXo, for they are waiting for the butthurt 12-year-old to turn 18. It is at that point that the anal rape, water-boarding, and electroshock therapy shall commence.

Fakes

Often, internet pirates will encounter files that have the word "AXXO" somehow cleverly hidden within the titles of the films that they wish to steal. Most of the time these inserted versions of the word "AXXO" will be within the usernames of other software/media pirates; KLAXXON being one of the major culprits of this new form of "name-pirating". It does not stop there however, because other unscrupulous uploaders are now seeding such files as:

PhotaXXoshop
NeraXXo
WinRaXXoR
DaXXoemon Tools Pro
NotePaXXoD

These obviously name-pirated files are out there on bittorrent sites stealing the names of better Windows based applications and ruining their reputation.

In their ongoing struggle to clean up the internet and make it safe for your Aunt Marie, the MPAA has contracted the aid of well-known internet white knights such as BayTSP, MediaDefender, Jack Bauer, Jason Bourne, MediaSentry, Steven Jobs, and Doctor Doom. These groups, working under the direct orders of actors and actresses everywhere are now in the process of uploading malicious files to various bittorrent websites. If you were to be so dishonest and unprincipled that you were to download them, you certainly deserve to have your PC hacked, your anus brutally ripped by malware, and your penis slammed in a door.

	“	Let’s get over the aXXo pining already.	„
	—Somebody with a lick of common sense.

Defenders of aXXo

Some dipshit fanboy

Released sometime in 1997 by aXXo, this movie lost major revenue when it was brought to the screen in 2007.

	“	Some say he can encode a stack of DVDs in seconds using only his teeth, and that he can command an army of millions with just one NFO.	„
	—The internet legend spreads via absurdities such as this.

There are several people on the internet who find aXXo’s actions to be brilliant and that he should be congratulated for his tireless attempts at redistribution. The world has certainly heard its share of praise for famous "redistributors" hasn't it. Because it is not known whether aXXo is a single person, or a large group of people and also because aXXo has been stealing money from starving media conglomerates working under the standards and ideals of a capitalist society, it can be assumed that aXXo is a dyed in the wool Red Communist. These defenders of aXXo are the same people who also want to "redistribute" your taxes, worldly goods, education, and even your God given rights, to every other man, woman, and child on the face of the Earth, thus making everything and everybody exactly the same faceless automaton. Remember, file sharing supports Communism and if you download that copy of Watchmen you have been waiting for, you are nothing more than a dirty Bolshevik.

Identity and Interview

	“	In real life, aXXo is probably just an average person, but on the Internet he’s a celebrity, with over a million people downloading his DVDrips every month. The search term “aXXo” is among the top searches on every torrent site, and even anti-piracy organizations use his name to trap people into downloading fake torrents. We had the chance to ask him a few questions, and find out a little more about him.	„
	—From the fake interview by Ernesto

With a casual perusal of aXXo’s profile found on the Darkside Release Group’s message board, one can find that aXXo claims to have been born in 1972. This cannot be considered as factual due to his prior actions (see History above) and should be regarded as an attempt to mask or obfuscate the true identity of the individual. Whatever the case, several law enforcement entities are now actively searching for aXXo as they consider him (or them) to be the ultimate prize catch if and when they actually do apprehend him (or them).

In March of 2007, a short interview purporting to be by aXXo showed up on Torrentfreak.com, but was quickly outed as being fake because no torrent pirate, worth a shit and in their right mind would utter the phrase “I post on Darksiderg.com” when everybody knows that whoever posts on that forum has their IP number captured and logged. In an attempt at posterity, here is that fake interview in it’s entirety:

[[Collapse back to normal][Expand the full interview]]

TorrentFreak: When did you start ripping / uploading DVDrips?
aXXo: When I was about 15 or 16 I got into backing up my old DVD’s. History from there.
TorrentFreak: What motivates you to share these movies?
aXXo: Why not? If I see a great film I believe everyone has the right to be entertained by it.
TorrentFreak: Don’t you think that ripping and uploading these (copyrighted) movies is wrong? aXXo: No not really. It was just for me and some mates at first.
TorrentFreak: Are you alone in this, Or do you get help from others?
aXXo: No help, It’s all me.
TorrentFreak: You seem to prefer 700MB rips, and not higher quality ones, why is this?
aXXo: Very little (if any) Loss of quality, and will fit on a Single Music CD.
TorrentFreak: On which torrent sites do you release this movies, and why not just on one?
aXXo: There are quite a few I release to. Many people prefer one site over the rest, and I want to spread these as much as possible.
TorrentFreak: What do you think of sites that (mis)use your name, like axxotorrents.com?
aXXo: This is a touchy subject. I have nothing against any of them, it was a complete misunderstanding and the issue has been cleared up. They are reliable, And I have checked every torrent on there thus far to be real.
TorrentFreak: How can people tell if the torrent is not a scam, or a fake torrent?
aXXo: If it’s a RAR archive, It’s not mine. My rips will contain 2 or 3 files. One info and one .avi files. On occasion a .txt file but that will stop.
TorrentFreak: Where do you get the movies, and do you use scene releases as well?
aXXo: …
TorrentFreak: Do you think that distributing these (copyrighted) movies is morally wrong? That is, do you consider sharing shows to be the same as stealing?
aXXo: Thank god in this country we don’t believe in copyright infringement. It’s just sharing entertainment, nothing more.
TorrentFreak: Okay, perhaps this one is easier to answer. What is your favorite BitTorrent site?
aXXo: I don’t have one. Darksiderg.com is where my original releases are, But I release to many. Superfundo, Demonoid, MiniNova, The Pirate Bay.
TorrentFreak: Anything you want to add to this?
aXXo: Upload what you’ve downloaded, and then some.
TorrentFreak: Thanks!
aXXo: You’re welcome.

Popularity

So popular, he has his own video player now.

Heath Ledger, after finding out about aXXo.

	“	Even Digg has been targeted by a user known as ‘therock41′, who has only submitted and dugg stories regarding aXXo’s rumored ‘new’ site, axxorelease.com, which is protected by WhoIsGuard.	„
	—Release the hounds!

Because what he does is highly illegal, one must wonder why aXXo is so popular. But, just how trendy and admired is aXXo? Eric Garland, the CEO of download-tracking firm BigChampagne, found that 33.5% of movies downloaded, during a random sampling, were aXXo torrents. It doesn’t stop there; take a look at the file cloud on Mininova.org. Yes, you guessed it; the largest word that stands out above all the other common search terms is a big blue “aXXo” right in the middle of everything. For one last glimpse at this inexplicable mob-mentality splendor that the internet has bestowed upon this "media buccaneer" go to Google Image Search and note the multitude of DVD covers available there.

While great victories have been made in tracking down the individuals and groups who are responsible for this large-scale theft, an odd occurrence has happened: sites and pirates only gain in popularity as recording artists, media production companies, and artist’s guilds seem to reap the bad reputation of an oppressor. Because of these abnormal phenomena, legislatures seek to strengthen copyright laws that are already in place, making it a first-degree felony punishable by lengthy prison terms, water boarding, and huge monetary fines, expecting that newer laws will finally quash the popularity of aXXo and others like him.

Opponents of this line of thinking state that if six-million people are doing it despite the consequence of law, it is the law that must be altered, not the people. This is an absurd line of thinking; lawmakers, conglomerates, and government have always been right and have the public’s best interests in mind, there shouldn’t even be an argument on the subject. Amid all of this, however, aXXo, hiding behind his anonymity like a frightened church mouse with a case of the DTs, still remains illogically “all the rage” amongst internet hooligans. This remains a detail, that left for better description, is “greatly incongruous.”

Quotes

This first quote has to be put by itself, if not just to exemplify what kind of slobbering fandom aXXo garners, but also to drive home the point that simple-minded buffoons who would write this sort of trash should be found by the MPAA and bludgeoned with the largest rape-stick available.

	“	Our Ripper, who art on mininova, aXXo be thy name. Thy torrents come. Seeding will be done, Here as it was on suprnova. Give us this day our latest rips. And forgive us our leeching, As we forgive those that leech from us. And lead us not on to private trackers; But deliver us from the MPAA: For thine is the ripping, the seeding, and the glory, For ever and ever. Amen…	„
	—Some bittorrent user so far up aXXo's ass he can taste what he had for lunch.

The rest of the quotes are conveniently placed within the following morphquote:

	“	I’ve seen on the mininova’s comments section some users telling each other to add trackers to a torrent. To add trackers to a torrent that are not included in the original release is the worst thing users can do. Those trackers don’t know which are the real chunks of the file nor who have the right ones, the information they send to the clients is wrong and the download will be fucked up.	„
	—aXXo, or a fake aXXo commenting on the process that will bring dead torrents back to life.

	“	..there are ’specialists’ manipulating torrents out there. ISPs nice letters are ready for those peers who follow that ‘technique’.	„
	—aXXo warning people to only download his files or else you will get the banhammer.

	“	aXXo told us that he has decided to take a break, so you will not see new aXXo torrents anywhere for a while. Please show your support by keeping his torrents alive until he comes back, as always, he will post here first when he does.	„
	—An administrator on DarksideRG explaining aXXo's butthurt because he wasn't man enough to say it himself.

	“	Apparently aXXo wasn’t very happy with the way The Pirate Bay handled his complaints, and decided to not release his torrents there anymore.	„
	—Ernesto, defending his favorite DVD ripper.

	“	It’s fitting though that this poem represents the almost incomprehensible shittiness of a guy doing a shitty job of what a bunch of actually worthwhile people already do.	„
	—Somebody commenting on the "aXXo" prayer above.

	“	Yea, though I walk through the valley in the shadow of industry associations, I fear no evil, for aXXo is with me. His rips and his torrents comfort me. For his is the kingdom and the glory of the Internets. Forever on Mininova, Amen.	„
	—More faggotry.

	“	I don’t know about you but i don’t download axxo torrents. I think torrents should be atlease 1.38gb. Plus the resolution on his torrents is crap. I just stick with private trackers. Don’t you think the MPAA has him on there number 1 most wanted list? I’m even scared downloading his torrents with PG2 on.	„
	—The level of fail here is so thick, it hangs like smoke in the air.

	“	aXXo’s the boy for the job, do not download ANY torrent (or maybe its just films, i dont really know!) unless it has the word aXXo in it, keep it up aXXo, we need you !	„
	—This guy collects aXXo action figures.