Soulbonding

A theory popular among the more fanatical of fanfic weirdos, that after a while, a character's soul sort of moves into your head, and you can channel it when you write your fics. So, you know, you can write a more realistic Fred/George twincest fic. Experts suggest soulboning accounts for half the content on Fanfiction.net. That, and you can always claim that the character mystically took control of your body, hence giving you a ready made excuse for all the IRL drama you cause with your own fucked up personality.

Fact: Soulboners say that they hear the voices of whatever gay Mary Sues they are currently soulboning.

Contrast with soul puppetry, the theory that when you write fanfic you are pretty much shoving your hand up that character's butt and controlling it.

Unlike furfags, otherkin, and otakukin, soulboners are pretty oblivious to the lulz to be had from their incessant LiveJournal drama whoring and faggotry. There are estimated to be at least 100 soulboner communities on LiveJournal all currently f-locked due to butthurt.

Soulbonds voted in the The LiveJournal Advisory Board Election

The voices made me do it!

Typical soulboner.

Much like otherkin, soulboners like to sit on their fat asses most of the day chatting on LiveJournal with other soulboners about how fascinating, unique, and creative their headvoices are. Observe:

	“	I'll say it up front: I hate November because of NaNoWriMo. I hate it because I NEVER have the time to do it--if I even tried, I would end up failing all my classes. And because of that, I always start feeling worthless, like I'm not doing my soulbonds/headvoices justice. Like I SHOULD be doing something with them, but I just can't. I can't write about them all--I have over 280 at last count--because I don't have time. I can't draw them all because, well, I don't have time. Some of them write in the headvoice GreatestJournal, but even then it's a very small percentage of them. I'd roleplay with them, some of them would make GREAT rp characters, but I suck so badly at them, nobody ever wants to rp with me	„
	—dinogrrl bemoans the level of influence her mystical headvoices have in her life.

	“	I'm almost ashamed to mention this, since it is not entirely the same thing but I was once caught between two Padmes, one who saw me as entirely a product of my canon, and who I know loved me deeply though she was not MY Padme, just *A* Padme. I felt sorry for her and got involved in a sort of relationship with her, while in a relationship with my OWN Padme, though as it turned out neither of them were the woman I really loved.	„
	—skywalking_ thinks soulboning is a great way to meet women.

	“	WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? It's bad enough that they pair me up with Kanda as a guy, but turning me into a girl?! WHAT THE HELL?! It's like I've been Brontefied! Aaaagh, as if my life didn't suck badly enough already, I just had to find that. I thought Jane was joking, but no, it was real. Aaaaaagh. And no, neither of us could get past the first chapter. Me as a girl was too fucking weird. I mean, honestly. I've got a penis. It might not be all that huge, but it's there, damn it! I'm 99.9% sure I'm completely male in every way! So... has anyone else gone through something like this because of their source? Or is it just us attractive Japanese-comic induced men who have to go through this? (I'm really honestly a guy I swear... why, god, why? Why does it exist? WHY?!)	„
	—bound_innle, butthurt because fanfic doesn't portray his TRUE FORM

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The Very Latest Soulboning Wank

Magic gets in on the furggotry.

Evidence suggests that the creator of the site, Wondercock attends Batshit Weeaboo University. Last Thursday, he wrote a soon-to-become notorious term paper for class on Japanese Popular Culture. Rather than just shit out some long diatribe about Shinji's desire to fuck his mother, he decided to research the soulbonding subculture. This would have gone largely unnoticed, except that he had the miraculous idea to post the entire paper on the Interwebs.

	“	Soulbonders describe their experience as that of having a fictional character living inside one’s mind, or otherwise in regular communication. Some soulbonders say that they communicate with their soulbonds in an internal, mental world, which they may conceptualize as another “plane of existence.” Others simply experience the soulbonded character as a voice in their head, or a mental “presence” of which they are almost constantly aware. At first blush, many would dismiss soulbonders as insane, and soulbonding websites often go to great lengths to distinguish the phenomenon from voice-hearing as part of well-known mental illnesses. It would be simple to dismiss soulbonders as mentally ill if there were not so many of them. The sheer size of the subculture suggests that the phenomenon should be viewed from a societal, rather than a psychiatric, standpoint.	„
	—Wondercock, getting his pomo bullshit on.

Naturally, this lead to much protest on the part of the soulboners, who felt that their super sacred bond with anime characters was being misrepresented when they were quoted without permission.

	“	the information you quoted from us was outdated and later found not quite correct. We didn't know, so we couldn't have offered you more recent, thorough information	„
	—baaing_tree on the fast-paced, ever-advancing study of headvoices

	“	Free for use or not, the words are hers and she is telling you to remove them	„
	—dust and dreams mastering self-contradiction

Arguably, the most butthurt was a kangetsuhime, an otakukin vampire:

	“	There are really no words for how I feel about this. This is not about legal matters. This is about common decency, respect, and manners. If you can't see that then we have nothing further to discuss, and I will be requesting that the maintainers consider their position on your continued presence here. If you cannot respect even your own word, then I do not see why you should be trusted to respect the people here. We are people, not lab rats, and frankly deserve to be treated with more respect.	„
	—kangetsuhime, because soulboning matter, NEVAR 4GET

Several soulboners demanded that Wondercock be banned from their little community, completely oblivious to the fact that he was never a member to begin with. A lot of the thread seems incongruous with the paper itself, which actually seems almost sympathetic towards the soulboners. Some argue that Wondercock himself must have a huge soulboner, as this would explain his interest in their crap. Still others believe he did it for the lulz. Closet schizo, or or academic drama whore? The truth recently came out, and Wondercock was revealed as a soulboner herself, and admits to connecting with her furry/hentai-based soulbonds while doing miles of cocaine.

See Also

• Snapesnogger
• Usagi Kou
• Furry
• Otakukin
• Otherkin
• Sarah Saga
• Chris-Chan
• Starprincess801

External Links

• soulbonding
• nonstupidsbers
• spiritpersonals
• Soulbonding FAQ
• SoulPuppetry homepage
• Wondershock's Soulboning Paper
• Oh look a forum filled with 'em!

Soulbonding is part of a series on LiveJournal Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article September 24, 2012
Preceded by Adventure Time and Regular Show	Soulbonding	Succeeded by Lyor Cohen