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Sikhism
Sikhism is an Indian (dot not feather) religion founded by Guru Nanak at least 100 years ago. Adherants are called Sikhs. It was founded in an effort to rally against the Muslim government that ruled India at the time, but soon grew until it was one of the largest anti-sandnigger forces on the planet, second only to Israel. Despite their hatred of Muslims, the Sikhs have ironically adopted a rather similar appearance to their old enemies, to the point where most Americans cannot tell the difference. This phenomenon occasionally results in lulzy events where a kebab-hating edge lord decides to wage his crusade against islam... and then goes and shoots up potential allies.
Location
Although there are many Sikhs in America and the UK, most Sikhs still live in India and Pakistan (i.e. Muslim India). Sikhs get on well with Buddhists but they hate Muslims and Hindus of India and strive to form their own country, Khalistan.
Beliefs and Practices
All Sikh practices revolve around the number 5, which leads Christians and Muslims to believe they are associated with Satan. In terms of their religion, Sikhs are a cross between Muslims and Jews. Like Jews, they are a closed religion, meaning you cannot convert. They also believe they are god's chosen people. Like Muslims, they practice terrorism and are obsessed with ritual, cleanliness, and war. Sikhs must carry five items on them at all times:
- Long hair in a turban
- A comb in their hair
- A metal bracelet around their wrist
- A pair of boxers around their genitalia
- A knife to kill sandniggers
Militancy
Like their arch enemies, the Muslims, Sikhs engage in terrorism, for great justice. In 1985, a group of Sikhs succeeded where the Muslim Shoe Bomber had failed and blew up a plane full of people over Ireland, sending over 300 worthless cunts straight to hell and in a lulzy ball of fire.
To this day, Sikhs continue to try and create an ethnostate in India without any annoying sand- or curryniggers. The Khalistan Liberation Front is the main force behind this.
How to troll Sikhs
Since there are 24 million of these cunts today, you may well meet one. Here is how to ensure they are maximally annoyed so they take out their knife and kill you.
- Mistake them for Muslims
- Ask them for help converting to Islam
- Call them towel heads
- Blame them for 9/11
- Blame them for terrorism in general
- Call them Hamas
- Tell them to go back to Iran
- Tell them to go back to Syria
- Call them "Osama" or "Jihadi"
- Pull on their turban
- Set their turban on fire
- Ask them for Halal food.
- Say "Sikh and you shall find". When they don't laugh at this awful joke, offer to "singh" to them. When they don't laugh at this either, tell them their women are whores and they are terrorists.
- Accuse them of being ISIS
- Accuse them of being terrorists
- Call them a mixture between Muslims and Jews
- Accuse Guru Nanak of being a paedophile
- Confuse Guru Nanak with Buddha
- Confuse Guru Nanak with Muhammad
- Say they are a shitty version of Jews
- Say they are a shitty version of Muslims
- Ask them why their wife is not wearing a hijab
- Show them this page
| Sikhism is part of a series on Obscure Religions  |
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