John Kricfalusi

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John Kricfalusi or John K. since people are too stupid to spell right anyway, is a washed-up hack animator, who thanks to his constant whining about Tiny Toons and Drawn Together, he has been kept in the spotlight.

The man himself.

Rise to Fame

The furry crap that started it all!

About 100 years ago Kricfalusi was born in the Land of Bagged Milk. Although he aged physically, he never actually grew up, so he went to art school. After graduation he was traumatized by being forced to work on shitty 80s cartoons. Jew noticed that John K. was miserable and rescued him from the horror of having to animate Smurfs. Together, Bakshi and Kricfalusi developed a new version of Mighty Mouse, which although supposedly a hit lasted only two seasons. After failing at this venture, Kricfalusi went on to create what was to become his biggest success (by default), Ren and Stimpy. Hilariously, Kricfalusi was so hard to work with that he was fired as director for the show so Nickelodeon could continue to profit from the show without having to put up with his bullshit. This embittered him so much that after that point he could say nothing good about anybody else in the animation industry. In 1994 he ghost-wrote an article for some shitty animation magazine, blasting the then-new show Animaniacs, despite the fact he had not seen it. John K. was one of the first person to make shitty internet flash cartoons, since he found that nobody would pay him to make regular cartoons anymore.

Bitterness

John KKK soon found work doing commercials for Old Navy and making shitty internet cartoons. In 1997, Jew and Trey Parker made a show called South Park, they stole not only his thunder, but his idea about a piece of poop that talks (which is the most original idea EVER and how dare they steal it). Johnny-Boy got all mad and sued, but everyone realized his cartoons sucked. He then got Fox Kids to air The Ripping Friends, but was over the head of the 8-year-old boys who were addicted to Power Rangers and Sonic. Butthurt and distraught, he made a new version of Ren and Stimpy without anyone who worked on the orignal show, which aired after a shitty cartoon about Pamela Anderson as a superhero. He now runs a blog where he whines about how even old Tom and Jerry cartoons are better than Family Guy, and shows off his shitty Hanna-Barbara toy collection. He also hates anything made in the last 50 years that is not his stuff or Beavis and Butthead, or anything made by Ralph Bakshi, or Jamie Hewlett, or Bruce Timm, or pre-Scooby Doo Hanna Barbara cartoons, or Genndy Tartakovsky, or the WWE.

It should be noted that, although John Kricfalusi is in fact a creepy, selfish, emotionally arrested manchild, this is neither unusual among his profession, nor is it even the primary reason he pisses so many people off. Most of the friction originates from the massive butthurt received by other emotionally-arrested manchildren, who unlike John K. are too stupid and lazy to turn their faggotry into a profitable venture, when he insists the trash we all watched as children, such as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers, was both bland, corporate dog shit, and from the perspective of the animator, not at all fun to make. The reality is noone gives a shit when he whines about Family Guy, or when his own cartoons turn out even worse; it's only when he happens to encroach on their blind nostalgia for the most culturally barren years in human history that people stop wetting their Power Rangers bed sheets long enough to take notice. Startled, like Arab clinging to their heathen religion they look for anything they can use to defend the only thing that gives their lives meaning, and start spouting insane bullshit like "Looney Toons weren't all that great" from the sanctum of darkened rooms filled to the ceiling with Space Jam toys, not because it's true, but because they're willing to deny reality to spite a single person.

Ways to troll John K.

• Telling him that you used to enjoy Captain Planet or Scooby-Doo when you were five years old...
• ...and stating that there was nothing wrong about that
• Telling him that Looney Tunes is unfunny
• Telling him you ever enjoyed an animation done in 3D, or anything made after 1949
• Asking him if he had ever had sex
• Telling him that, despite what he and his retarded fans think, you didn't watch shitty animated movies as a kid because your mom forced you, but because you liked them
• Telling him that the world is not fucked up because today's cartoons are bad
• Suggesting him to go out and breathe some air
• Telling him the fucking truth, that Ren and Stimpy, George Liquor, all the crap he thinks it's good animation, sucks nigger jew balls
• Telling him that cartoons are not motherfucking serious business, and no one cares about cartoons being shitty

External Links

• His Blog
• His My Space
• A typical guest article by him.