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Kelly Clarkson
Kelly Clarkson is an extremely fat bitch of a no-talent singer who won in the very first season of American Idol in 2002. She was slightly chubby then, losing a little bit of weight in 2005-6 before becoming the fattest woman (and I use that term VERY lightly) in the world.
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Her Singing Abilities
Clarkson won American Idol despite the fact that she couldn't sing at all and her ugly teeth and over 9000 rolls of fat made many a viewer vomit all over their TV. She ushered in a new era in making it in the music business by leaving it up to fucktarded fans who don't know what good music is. She was manufactured by the Jew-dominated entertainment industry in their sick attempt to convince unsuspecting people what talented music is supposed to be. She made headlines in 2005 when the high note she sang after the bridge in her hit single "Behind These Hazel Eyes" was so un-fucking-godly grating and irritating, it caused every window on Earth to shatter simultaneously. Another of her hit singles "Because of Jew" was considered so sappy and cringeworthy, it made Barry Manilow and Michael Bolton sound like Anal Cunt. Her 2009 single "My Life Would Suck without You" was an ode to food. The follow-up "I Do Not Hook Up" made sense because she's so fucking fat, she can't get a date.
Her Weight
As mentioned already, Clarkson holds the distinction of being the fattest human being on Earth, weighing in at over 9000 pounds. She's a well-known pothead, which explains how she got so fat [munchies]. She is known to eat anything and everything in sight, so if you are ever unlucky enough to go to one of her shows, be sure you sit as far back as possible so you won't risk getting eaten. Her shows are so boring that many fans in the front row end up falling asleep, resting their heads against Clarkson's fat stomach. Many of them get sucked into her belly button never to be seen again.
Current News
She is working on a fifth album to be released early next year. If we are lucky, she will die of an obesity-related heart attack and the project will be scrapped. But on the bright side, she's going to hear her music someday and die of embarrassment.
