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Austin Fullmer

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Austin Fullmer is a 19 year old second-generation Scientologist who completely failed at his American Idol audition, and freaked out Simon Cowell. Austin's real job is processing sewage so that it can be re-used in LA as drinking water. Appearing at one of the early auditions, when people are most likely to be complete retards and utterly lacking in talent, Austin attempted to sing a song by lame 1970s rock band Cheap Trick.

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Young and trendy
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In happier times
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Awesome!


 
 
Austin: This is my purpose in life. Simon: No, it's not.
 

 


How do we know he's a Scilon?

Apart from his horrible fashion sense, which is common in Scilons, former OSA agent Gary Scarff ("Smurf" on Why We Protest) declared that he has known Austin's parents for years, and that they are hardcore. His batshit screaming at the judges has also been identified as an attempt at Scientology magic (Tone 40) to make people do what he says. Scientology works and it helps people.

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Moar

 Austin Fullmer is part of a series on Scientology 

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LOL TECH:

DianeticsDisconnectionChild abuseSaint HillScientology's History of the UniverseSec CheckFreewindsSea OrgGlossaryReligious Freedom WatchVolunteer MinistersOSASpace Opera

SCILONS:

L. Ron HubbardDavid MiscarriageTom CruiseScientology AgentsTommy DavisRogues GallerySuri CruiseTerryeoHeaven's GateThe RegimeEvil Jacket GuyJoe FeshbachVaLLarrrTom NewtonJohn CarmichaelFreezoneCaptain Bill RobertsonDanny MastersonWill SmithOschaperKendrick MoxonTim ArmerJorge SerranoRon SaveloJohn TravoltaJett Travolta

NOTORIOUS SPs:

AnonymousWise Beard ManJason BegheGas Mask GirlMagooNew Zealand Fail GuyMessage from ScientologyShawn LonsdaleRorschachMoralfagsLeaderfagsRaidfag WenchJames PackerLeah ReminiEpic Nose GuyStu WyattTommy GormanThe Unknown AutobotPsychiatristsMarcab ConfederacyDavid Wu-KapauwEpic Sword GuyAgent Pubeit

ENTURBULULZ:

PROJECT CHANOLOGYWhy We Protest ForumsA Scientologist's Guide to 4chanThe GeteratorNeil Gaiman's SandmanPaul "Fetch" CarnesReligionIsFree.orgYou Found the Card/i/alt.religion.scientologyComplete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX888chan (/td/)

 

Austin Fullmer is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal