Cory Doctorow

Cory Doctorow^✡ is an egotistical ass/Internet celebrity/hipster/self-promoting Jew and IRL bureaucratic fuck. Not to mention, a (FORMER!) blogger on a major fart-platform called Boing Boing. Ten years ago he was just this guy, y'know, who'd fucked up and flunked out of no less than three university degree programs. Realizing that he was rather a dim bulb as a result, he got a little famous for his first novel, a hokey bunch of digirati nonsense called Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom and then decided to be Mr. Braunschnozz, bullshitting, shoving, and sack-licking his way into as many bureaucracies and cushy positions as possible. He's a "Digital Rights Activist!" He gave his first novel away with a "free license"! So people kiss his bottom all day long! And when he throws a sad over someone like Aaron Swartz, it gets reported in "mainstream media". And occasionally his silly books get b& somewhere. As if he were "important".

INSERT CAWK HERE

	“	Cory Doctorow is another self-editing Wikipedia vanity biographer ... Doctorow's Wikipedia bio neglects to list the four universities he dropped out of, or what he was studying at the time. But it does say 'Like many travellers, he has photos of his preferred haircut that he brings with on extended trips for when he has to visit a new barber while on the road.' That's useful encyclopedia-quality information.	„
	—On Cory's Wikipedia Narcissism, (archive)

This is one of Cawy's favourite tourist photos, since he shows everyone what he thinks of them. Only problem is that his Magic Kingdom is covered up (see below).

He's Canadian but just couldn't stand the weather or maybe the people in Toronto failed to show him proper god-worship. So he moved to San Fagcisco in the 1990s, because "famous", moved to London in late 2003 (complaining about Bush and the war in Iraq all the way across the pond), and in 2015 moved back to LA. Because of gentrification. Or something.

Obviously not everyone on earth loves Cowwy. It is getting difficult to find blog putdowns of him, because like Jimbo Wales, he runs around the internet screeching at host companies to remove the attacks on him. [1][2][3][4][5]

	“	What's more, he stands upon a very big soapbox and he knows it. Though he doesn't appear to play to his audience: Even if he didn't have any readers, he would probably still write about the same idiosyncratic, self-indulgent crap he does now. So I would call him uncompromising in that respect. Similarly, he's a foaming, humorless zealot on many issues, and he's an inveterate self-promoter. So he's definitely in that "love him, hate him, or love to hate him" category.	„
	—[6]

In 2005 there was an autogenerated list of shitty Cory posts called corysucks.com. It disappeared in 2009 OOH CENSORSHIP!!!, but you can still see traces of it on Internet Archive. [7] As the guy said: "Ive read Boing Boing for a long time and only recently realized that I wasnt really interested in it at all. And Corys posts are the worst. It seems like everything he writes is either about his DRM crusade, his book signings or Disney. I figured I could write a simple algorithm to quantify how much each post sucked, so I did it."

BoingBoing

BoingBoing's front page

Cory likes to say that he runs the BoingBoing (gee, isn't that just the whackiest!) web logs. Cory (or Dr. O, as he likes to be called) and his underlings steal ideas from other popular weblogs and post them on BoingBoing, usually years after everyone else forgot about them—showing, like Paris Hilton, that you really don't need any skills to be popular. If you keep telling everyone you meet that you are popular, it will eventually work.

What does he post there? Incredibly lame, butthurt, whiny shit like this. Good luck with your latest Crusade To Save The Hotel Industry, Mr. Assclown.

“	The VIII Commandments of the Well-Labeled Inn I. Thy lamps shall have large, obvious switches that are not obscured by the shade nor hidden on their bases, nor their power-cords. II. Thy wall-switches shalt be labeled with the parts of the room they correspond to. III. Never shall thine electrical outlets be controlled by light switches, lest they cause a device to go uncharged overnight. IV. Thine faucets shall be as plain as fuck. V. Yea, and thou shalt label them, with large, sans-serif writing, HOT and COLD, in red and blue, for an icy shower at 4AM doth enrage a traveler and lo, first degree burns art a liability for thee and thine underwriters. VI. Thy shampoo, conditioner and moisturizer shalt be labeled in the largest type that will fit on the bottles, for travelers may not be able to find thine goddamned lightswitches, and yea, may not wear their glasses to take a shower and thus be incapable of reading the tiny curlycue type used to label the bottles. VII. Thine housekeepers shall never leave the TV on, even if thy in-room entertainment system has a muzak channel it can be turned to. VIII. Thy TVs shall have large, obvious, front panel off buttons.	„
—yes, Cory really wrote this shit

Cowwy also loves to Boing-Bawww about copyright and DRM, his Most Evil Concept Evar [8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15], and of course, his love of "free and open content" ends abruptly when it comes to his own lame scribblings. And his bank account. Not to mention complaining about Google. He's like a Harlan Ellison jigsaw puzzle with the best parts left out. Takes a hypocrite to know one.

There was a thread in 2014 on BB's forum where people were encouraged to post their objections to Cowwy's assclownery. A thread that was later heavily censored. Because too many people showed up to criticize him.

	“	Boing Boing is a house full of shrill hypocrites. When you run a blog, what your moderators do and enforce is exactly what we can all logically assume you would do and enforce. If Cory Doctorow wants to come around my neighborhood and make a speech about freedom of expression and anti-censorship, I am the first guy that’s going to stand up and yell ‘Bullshit!’	„
	—Yep

	“	Oh gawd, Cory Doctorow, I had enough of him and his Boing Boing nazis like Xeni Jardin -- who ban, edit, or mock anyone who isn't on board with their very extreme views (I'm left leaning, and they're off the scale even for me). He has SOME interesting comments on things, but I just can't take him seriously anymore.	„

All for shit anyway. Even though he was a co-founder and part owner, in 2020 Bang Bang's editors silently removed Cowwy from the masthead. No moar Disney fanboi shit or turdistannning about "digital freedom". He flounced off and started another blog that no one looks at.

“	The circumstances surrounding Doctorow's exit from the website were unclear at the time, although Doctorow acknowledged that he remained a co-owner of Boing Boing.[21][22] Given the end of the 19-year association between Doctorow and Boing Boing, MetaFilter described this news as "the equivalent of the Beatles breaking up" for the blog world.[22] Doctorow's exit was not acknowledged by Boing Boing, with his name being quietly removed from the list of editors on 29 January 2020.[23]	„
—straight from Wikipedia

EFF

This guy wastes our air.

Until Cawy took over the EFF (Electronic Frontier Foundation), it was devoted to freedom of speech and action on the Internet. Under his careful guidance, the EFF has become the Electronic Fuckface Foundation, a career step for lawyers and opportunists like himself. Not to mention Mike Godwin, who went from the EFF to the Wikimedia Foundation to utter obscurity. So now Cawy is now Mr. EFF, too! Everyone at EFF loved Cory so much they shipped his pale ass to Europe, then he "resigned."

Play-acting

More than anything but stacks of money, Dr. O likes pretending to be an author. He releases his books both in stores and on-line under an open source license so that he will have a convenient excuse for their shitty sales. He drops a lot of 1337 in his books, as if desperately trying to say

Hey, man, I'm fully down with those groo-vey hacker cats, like, daddy-oh.

Cawy has the uncanny ability as a short story author to take a subject that you would think might be really boring--like IP law, venture capital, yard sales--and by adding just a few sci-fi elements to it, turn it into something really amazingly boring.

	“	The Banana and Bongo was bigger than the Belt and Braces had ever been— seven stories, three workshops, and real stables for a variety of vehicles from A.T.V. trikes to mecha-walkers to zepp bumblers, which consumed Etcetera for more than two years, as he flitted through the sky, couch-surfing at walkaway camps and settlements across the continent. She’d thought about taking a mecha to the uni, because it was amazing to eat the countryside in one, the suit’s wayfinders and lidar finding just the right place to plant each of its mighty feet, gyros and ballast dancing with gravity to keep it upright over the kilometers.	„
	—--An actual quote from his book Walkaway

Not a Goy In Real Life

Second Life

Since he's too lazy and unimaginative to make stuff up, and doesn't have to try too hard with all the money he gets from being an IRL bureaucratic fuck, Cawy's stories are all drawn from his exciting experiences in Second Life.

Internet Disease

When Dr. O isn't busy pretending to be an author or a journalist he likes to log on to wikipedia and manipulate the article about himself, although apparently he is incapable of signing. And when called on it, he piddles like a little girl. A quick look at his contributions shows the depth of his love affair with ... Cory Doctorow.

Cawy in another favourite pose, playing Twotsky in a T-shirt (wouldn't his folks be proud!). Hard to find a pic. of this guy that isn't ridiculously flattering, which is a symptom of internet disease.

Not to mention the pukestorm he started by creating an article about Phil Sandifer in 2007. Or his frequent editing of Wikipedia articles about certain "internet celebrities". Cawy can't seem to not fuck TOW up whenever he touches it.

Invite him to your next "digital summit". If you're lucky and manage to balm his ego hard enough, perhaps he'll put on a red cape and run around the room like a hyperactive 2-year-old.

Disney Obsession

Obsessed with the Walt Disney universe, he even calls his haircut the Magic Kingdom. Whenever forced to travel without his personal barber, Dr. O carries a picture of the Magic Kingdom (yes, the haircut) on his person. How does he reconcile his love for the Walt Disney Company, which is notorious for lobbying for ever-more-restrictive copyright controls, with his anti-copyright and anti-DRM extremism? Uh, he posts it on BB, and it's quickly forgotten.....

Plain old insanity

• His daughter bears the unfortunate moniker of Poesy Emmeline Fibonacci Nautilus Taylor Doctorow (no, really).
• Recent BB posts have contained stiff shots of "lookit me, I'm in the news media being teh aw3som" crap. Fuck off Cowwwy.
• Or shit about his cooking skillz.
• Or sucking the cocks of his fellow digerati.
• Or the occasional standing ovation. Mebbe he's running for dogcatcher.
• Whinging about Brexit? Check.
• Plus promoting idiotic products.
• His Flickr is full of his ego, first and foremost
• Yes he has a Tumblr also full of his ego, and pics of junk food

See also

• Jews
• Dave Eggers
• BoingBoing
• The Daily Dot
• Subhuman Filth
• BoingBoing vs Violet Blue: Strap-on Smackdown!

External Links

• Opinion piece in the Guardian by CD, which - surprise! - gives a CD piece in BoingBoing as a reference (true to form, it's a review of a book that manages to completely avoid discussing the book itself)
• Dr. O caught out manipulating his own Wikipedia biography
• ihatecory.blogspot.com - Collection and review of anti-Cory content on the web -- not updated since 2011, the last one we could find

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