Angry Birds

Angry Birds is a shit game for your various mobile devices that, for some unknown reason, caused a shitstorm that shook the entire world of Macs. 16-year-old girls are the ones who love this game so much because "ZOMG it's so freakin' addicting!!!1!". Somehow or another, this app became the most popular evar with millions of fanboys. Also for some reason Google Chrome advertises it, no one saw the ad because Firefox is better.

Concept art for gameplay

Angry Birds IRL

The Game Itself

The "Story"

Be prepared to be confused as fuck. The story begins with green pigs who, because they obviously can't cook themselves for yummy No shit, they're fucking pigs. The pigs want the eggs so they can have BLTs why the fuck would pigs want to BLT when there is Bacon and no eggs in a BLT?. The pigs come up with the idea to have their pig queen eat the eggs while the birds watch helplessly in horror. All the other pigs were too retarded to realize how defensive birds are with their eggs when they're stolen, they went commando. Then, the shit hits the fan when the birds convert to super-rage mode and bomb the shit out of them with their bodies.Why they don't reuse the dead bodies is stupid, but hey; they're just fucking birds The designers of AngryBirds decided that the birds should catapult them selves directly at the enemy compound instead of flying, because everyone knows that birds can't fly, amirite?. Eventually, the birds win, but the pigs don't die, even when they get blown the fuck up. Then, the pigs steal the eggs again using some convoluted Wile E. Coyote scheme because they are goddamn birds.

TL;DR - Angry Birds is an over hyped, over priced piece of shit game that, like all iPod apps and other gadgets , drain the battery within 5 minutes. Only hipsters, and 16 year old girls swear that this game is the most genius game ever.

Gameplay

This is a bit more simple. You have a slingshot and you have to kill the pigs with birds fired from said slingshot. However, this is too easy. The pigs had a shit-ton of wood left over from God-knows-what, so they built over 9000 fortresses and, just like Darwin said, the bird evolved to kill pigs. However, this is shit because these birds have lost the ability to fly, perhaps because they have no wings and are as round as yo momma.

The specific bird types are:

• Regular Bird: It can't do shit, obviously.
• Multi-Bird: An asexual fucker that breeds super fast and splits into 3, but still can't do shit.
• Fast Bird: Like you, it's high on meth and heroin. Flies fast, likes wood.
• Bomb Bird: Similar to sandies, these birds suicide bomb the place and thus, actually CAN do shit.
• Bomber Bird: The Bomb Bird's pussy of a cousin, who drops explosive eggs out of his ass which do less shit than fucking water balloons.
• Boomerang Bird: An Australian bird that, surprise, can't do shit.
• Fat Bird: Dude's fat and will gang rape the entire screen.

Trolling

There is no possible way to troll the game itself, for the game is a troll. It will present before you a seemingly impossible level, which will consume up to 10 minutes (and hopefully ONLY that much time). This is because there is always one, tiny, pussy of a pig that will hide and then laugh at you when you fail. Then, after completely giving up, you look at an online walkthrough and think, "Oh God, I'm a retard for not doing that in the first place!" But even the walkthrough doesn't stop you from failing and the pigs resume laughing at you with their troll faces on. And here's where the creators struck gold, because of the amounts of fucktards that have access to a credit card, they decided to add an in-game purchase called the "Mighty Eagle" which allows you to skip a single level for the same price of the game itself.

Although the game can't be trolled, it's easy as hell to troll its fanboys. Just say "the x bird sucks" and/or "Angry Birds is a shameless and blatant rip-off of Boom Blox" and watch the hate roll in. Its not much different that most other forms of fanboism.

You can also troll the Angry Birds forums (http://www.angrybirdsnest.com/forum/), as they are not usually trolled.

Real reason why Angry Bird is angry

Merchandise

The company that shat out the game one day had a brilliant idea: "Let's get more fucking money!" And so, Angry Birds plush toys and T-shirts were born.

Fun fact: many T-shirts rape the Internet even more by putting "Om Nom Nom" on them.

See Also

Farmville - Another terrible game that caused a shitstorm

The Official Website

Buy their shit

Play it here for free, if you dont want to pay 99 cents, you Jew

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