Keycorp

A pissant private company located in Ausfalia. There were, until recently publicly listed. Some gullible venture capitalists got sucker-punched in the 'nads and while they were on the ground, writhing in agony, Joe Bonen (alleged CEO) and his merry band of cunts grabbed the contract and forged these venture capitalists names. From that point they were no longer answerable to shareholders and their delusions of grandeur firmly took hold.

Keycorp CEO Joe Bonen relaxing with a friend after tense negotiations with a mirror in his office

They are widely known in employment agency circles as the local company with the highest turnover of staff. It is a fact that some new recruits begin their first day, see behind the veil of bullshit and lies and do not come back after lunch....or ever again. We will look at some of the reasons for this later in this article. This crude assembly of people and resources which some may refer to as a 'business' is situated in one of the more crappy parts of Fairfield, the inner northern suburb of Melbourne. Aboriginals, though not common in the area after they were used for veterinary experiments in the 1950's, can occasionally be seen stealing petrol from cars parked in the local streets.

So when management isn't skull-fucking the remains of some unfortunate ex-employee who failed to make it out the building, they are fucking with the minds of present employees. Their philosophy as an employer is too push people too their limits. We are all waiting for some disgruntled ex-employee to return to the building, a blank look in his eyes, an AK-47 with many spare clips in a sports bag and the desire to share a little love around. High-velocity hollow-pointed love.

FOUNDATION VALUES

cuming soon.....watch out you little, fat, ugly bitch......

you say that in the office, all these fat ugly heads spin around. Yes, I mean you, Cathy.