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Jack White

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Legi0nsnoɯʎuou∀ at 04:55, 18 November 2011. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
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Jack White aka John Anthony Gillis is the ex lead singer of mediocre Indie, Alternative rock band called the White Stripes. The White Stripes are a band that consist of Jack White a 40 year-old hipster and his wife/sister who failed to learn how to tune or play their instruments. They recorded a bunch of cacophonous screaming and indiscriminate drum-bashing to a music video of Legos masturbating and were an overnight success.

Jack White looking like a drug addicted cross version of Johnny Depp & The Crow


White's Humble beginnings & rise to fame

Jack White grew up in shit hole Detroit with his Catholic parents and 10 something or other siblings. He was abused as a child by his father who constantly molested him in front of his brothers and sisters. His mother who was a crack whore sat there and did nothing. She allowed her husband to rape and abuse her children because she was to busy snorting crack and cooking in the kitchen. White having no idea what to do with his life, decided to become a catholic altar boy, probably due to the fact that his father touched his pee pee place so many times before. Life in catholic school didn't work out for him, so he decided to become a rock star when he grew up. That way he would be the one touching other people's junk instead of the other way around.


The White Stripes aka him and his sister playing instruments badly

 
Jack White and his incest lover after doing coke lines and having sex together.

When Jack decided to become a legend rockstar he began playing instruments (very badly might I add) and joined in a few bands before starting White Stripes with his sister and lover Meg White.

  • Discography
  • The White Stripes--Their first album was a self titled realize because both Meg and Jack are highly original/creative lol just kidding. They were so lazy that they couldn't think of a better debut album title. This album is nothing but horse shit and no one even cared enough about it, in fact they didn't get famous until their third album's realize. True fact.
   
 
Jack White's voice is a singular, evocative combination of punk, metal, blues, and backwoods while his guitar work is grand and banging with just enough lyrical touches of slide and subtle solo work... Meg White balances out the fretwork and the fretting with methodical, spare, and booming cymbal, bass drum, and snare... All D.I.Y. punk-country-blues-metal singer/songwriting duos should sound this good.
 

 
 

—prove that wikipedia doesn't know shit about music, or anything else for that matter.

Instead of listing all of their album's on this article I will just tell you about the specific ones that people know about.