Stardew Valley

STEP THE FUCK OFF! Stardew Valley looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.

Hey!

This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster. You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages. See this article on Google? Want to add something? Join us!

Stardew Valley is a boring as shit farming simulator created last thursday by some faggot named ConcernedApe (Powerword: Eric Barone). The game starts when your grandpa dies, probably of shame from having you as a grandson. In revenge, he wills you his shitty ass farm in the middle of buttfuck nowhere so you're tasked with the job of fixing it up. The game then goes completely off the rails by assuming its target demographic could try to date one of the 12 available characters that live in Pelican Town without predictable results. You can date and marry any character regardless of gender.

The game itself, looks like shit.

The Game

Gameplay consists of wandering around trying to clear-cut as much of the forest as possible to make room for your farm. Because a day in this game is only 15 minutes, you'll race to do this until you pass out. When you're not both enjoying and destroying the outdoors, you can go to town to find the villagers you can date, though the game adds realism by not letting you date most of them. After at least 100 years, you might have a decent fake farm and wife if you avoided picking the Beach Farm map.

Stardew Valley is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

Stardew Valley is a Bad New Article. You can help by fixing it.