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BBC
The BBC (The Billionaire Boys Club or The Big Black Cock), a pure evil media/news corporation funded by a license fee payable by all television owners in Britain, recently (after the Iraq war) became a non-stop foaming-at-the-mouth anti-American station hell bent on destroying democracy and liberty around the world using nothing but some correspondents and assorted satellite dishes. Sneaky cunts. Also, the BBC news has covered Rickrolling with pictures of PROJECT CHANOLOGY.
The headlines
The BBC was founded at least 100 years ago by a branch of the British General Post Office, in order to broadcast propaganda to the entire world via the medium of impartial journalism and carefully edited headlines. The annual license fee system that sustained the corporation for nearly 40 years started to break down after the sheeple discovering streamed online content ironically hosted by the beeb and private media interests who greedily eyed valuable assets and so the upper management pissed its self, backed away from anything that might cause controversy and instead start broadcasting ballroom dancing, celebrity wife-swap and the national lottery 5 days a week.
It has long been thought that the BBC has an anti American bias. This is true, as reporting Uncle Sam's latest [1] atrocity [2] is clearly "anti-meerican." And pissy chavs wonder why the rest of Europe hates us.
In the documentary "wow, aren't Americans fucking stupid" the BBC did not actually insult the USA, they just used one of our 2 million words for cold on the cob to confound the undesirables.
ITV
ITV came on the scene as a credible commercial alternative to the BBC but quickly degenerated into piss poor dumbed down content complete with freak shows, property development guides and "I'm a non-celebrity get me a career!". Naturally only the poorest people watch ITV as all its programs tend to edge toward the "chav" demographic. This is to be expected as ITV's hometown, Manchester is 90% Chav, 10% fail whilst the BBC was born in glorious London during the heyday of Empire and Monarchy.
Programming
The BBC broadcast a lot of shit nobody cares about but people happen to watch it anyway for the sake of fuck knows what.
And plently more shit. Also before programmes begin they would often show of their crappy little logos in the shape of a circle to represent a cock ring along with some bitchass continuity announcer.
The only thing good to watch from the shit BBC is the news because you get to watch people being killed =D
OMG BIAS
In 2004 Fox News' presenter John Gibson opined in an op-ed piece that the BBC, despite being government-bound to appear neutral, had a "frothing at the mouth" anti-American bias, and that its presenters called on Iraqi forces to fight US troops-both of these things being quoted, apparently, from a government report. The fact that this is clearly complete bullshit on every level and that the report in question did not say anything even close to this did not faze Gibson, who proceeded to go and pray outside the nearest abortion clinic.
On that note the only thing the BBC like about America is OBAMA and want his dick rammed up their ass. HAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS
BBC Reporter John Sweeney Interviews Scientology Spokesperson Tommy Davis
New 2.oh webshite
Recently the BBC has decided that it must change its website from an easily readable sensibly organized one into a 16 year old girl's myspace page. It gives no reason for the change other than "The website hasn't changed for 4 years, it needed a lick of paint.". Due to their epic failure the beta website looks like it was designed by Apple in association with a gay pride parade.
The website now has the following 2.oh features:
- Overuse of the color blue.
- Less content but more blank space between things.
- ALLCAPS.
- Size 18 text.
- Round corners (right angles are soooo 1-point-oh).
- Reporter blogs! Stay tuned to my Weblog!! Your source for news!! How did this happen I am bad with computer.
- A fuckin stupid analogue clock that distracts you when you already have a clock in your task bar (digital clocks are soooo 1-point-oh and not nearly hi technicaaaaal enough).
- Customisable layout that you'll have to go though 5 minutes setting up again every time you clean your cookies so you don't get London's news and weather on the page fagging the place up.
- Clashing links that change color to draw your interest to other links that may interest you when you click one. This doesn't actually work though as a load of sport headlines try to draw attention to themselves if you click on a link to a comedy program.
All this is probably really impressive if you live in Kensington, own an iPhone, drink your own piss and include your Aga as a family member when filling in your census forms.
In a bid to appeal to a broader audience, the BBC is considering changing it's name to the British Bumfuckers Club. A position statement is expected to be issued shortly.
See Also
External Links
They 'report' on 4chan-http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-10520487
