Jananaphone

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Bravely going where twenty guys have gone before.

jananaphone is a miserable, disease-ridden LiveJournal fatty, that is trying to drag the internet down with her into a dark swirling abyss of Twinkies and cheap vodka.

For some reason unbeknownest to most functional human beings, Jana has managed to score herself a boyfriend that will only have sex with her when she is drunk. This fact did not however, stop her from viciously chewing on his penis as if it were a delicious juicy polish sausage.

Jananaphone has high-risk HPV and frequently whines about it, often trying to shift the blame off of herself. She believes that because she used a condom, it is completely not her fault that she has acquired HPV and thus should be pitied accordingly. However God did not make her fuck some random-ass guy at a highway rest stop, yet she does curse him nightly for it. She also tries to convince non-believers that they also have the disease, in a weak effort to make herself feel any less alone in this world.

Jana is also a closet lesbian and is majoring in Women's Health at Temple University. In her spare time, she likes to count her proliferating genital warts and in extreme cases of boredom, she likes to connect the warts with a Sharpie to make beautiful constellations.

She is rumored to potentially have up to 6 or 7 other STDs, but so far has not got around to bitching about them.

In a moment of irony her LJ motto"Oh, there's nothing like emptying a cartridge at the sun," an activity almost as pointless as her life.

List of Diseases

• High-risk HPV
• Cervical Cancer
• Depression
• Internet Disease
• Obesity
• Being a victim

Jananaphone is part of a series on LiveJournal Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage.