Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Jonah Mowry

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Mr Jonzz at 05:42, 6 December 2013. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
Jump to navigationJump to search

Jonah Mowry is the latest in a series of media sensations to showcase an anti-bullying mascot gaining infamy as a result of humiliating themselves on the internet.

Waaaaaai is everyone makin' fun of meeeeeeeeeeee?!?!?!
Bawww, lil crybaby bitch needs his diapers changed.

A Crybaby Doesn't Understand Why He's Made Fun Of

Before commencing the 8th-grade, Jonah came to the realisation that he was in store for a rousing year of good-natured ribbing at the hands of his school-yard chums so; rather than mature alongside his contemporaries developing a healthy sense of humor and gruff camaraderie, he went the opposite route and proceeded to spill his guts to strangers on the internet about all the mean, spiteful attentions received throughout his crucial grade-school years. Seeing absolutely nothing ironic about having a teary bitchfit after having been accused of being a wimp, Jonah grabbed a stack of note cards and put his Sharpie to work, whipping up a batch of cards purposely calculated to tug at the heartstrings and, with any luck, get some of that sweet, sweet media attention that all the "victims" recieve these days. For added effect, he even went so far as to show off the "scars" he had accumulated over the years spent cutting as a response to his nightmarish existence. As a crowning cherry to top off his already overblown crybaby-sundae he wrapped it all together with a notoriously corny and overtly emotional ballad from the completely accurate and not at all exaggerated film Cyberbu//y.

Seriously; the exact same fucking song.

Slowly, and in an ironic twist of fate, Jonah got the attention he so desperately desired.

An Even Bigger Attention Whore Opens The Floodgates

What ensued was so perfect that God himself must have devised it, another attention-whoring plagiarist got hold of Jonah's weepy video. Eager to make it look like she gave a fuck and hopefully unload a couple million more albums off on all the little twinks, Gaga shared it to her millions of followers via Twitter. Millions flocked to the video, eager to give Mowry's peen reassuring rubs of condolence to fill him with the encouragement he needed to stay strong.

 

But Did You Know That...

Jonah stole the idea, execution and attention from another (at the time) more popular anti-bullying video?

Inspiration, coincidence, or something less commendable? You be the judge.

HAI DAIR; Or, Jonah Unwittingly Slips Up

 
Gotcha bitches

Not long after receiving his glorious bout of e-fame Jonah proceeded to do what all whores do when they get what they want; gloat about it. Mouth full of semen and fag-hag by his side, Jonah happily sucked away as he gloated about how his video made him beloved worldwide and that his detractors could just suck on that! Oddly, the video brought up a rather unintended point. Jonah seemed downright gleeful about how great his life had been since making the video. Almost as though he had made up the extent of his ordeal entirely for sympathy. After being called out on this repeatedly in the videos comments section, the video was pulled, but not before a mirror could be set up. For whatever reason, if Jonah is to be believed, 8 years of bullying seemingly reversed itself in an 8 month period. All that soul crushing torture just... gone. For no reason. Just like that. And that's the truth.

Realizing he was now caught on his shit, Jonah went to the realm of all butthurt liars and DMCA'd the video away, confident that that would be the end of it all. Little did the silly little faggot know, you can't erase something from the internet once it's there.

   
 
"(HAI DAIR) Was Jonah M..." This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Jonah Mowry.
 

 
 

—YouTube, anytime the video shown below is uploaded

Click here if the video below does not appear
{{#shtml:User:Hipcrime/HAI DAIR}}

Reactions

As more and more people realized just how much shit Jo was full of, his supporters decided to argue it shouldn't matter he was lying out of his ass for attention, being no better than the Jessi Slaughters or Rebecca Blacks the internet is so fond of "torturing", because he 'helped vulnerable peers see another way through the pain'.

Other Projects

 
Jonahs trollface.

When Jonahs not preoccupied slurping the night away, or sobbing into his pillow, he does did what all retards with a webcam do: remove them to avoid unflattering attention!

Jonah removed his other videos that nobody cares about, and has had virtually zero success with his new video series about cutting, his hair, and other teen stuff. If you do want to see them, they are here and here.

Gallery

See Also

  • The Casey - The correct way to handle bullying.
  • Bullying - What Jonah lied about!
  • An hero - The only true cure for Jonahs ills.

External Links

 

Jonah Mowry is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

 

Jonah Mowry is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal