StickyKeys

This feature is available to anyone with a computing device, not just Windows users. For this reason Linux users aren't butthurt about sticky keys.

The most common cause for a sticky keyboard is using a computer while viewing pornography, engaging in cybersex, or hawt steamy gay furry yiff. While males are most likely to experience sticky keys, females are not completely excluded.

Less than 5% of sticky keyboard cases are the result of rare and elusive normal people eating while using their computer. Almost all normal people don't have internet access and are old. There have been reports of people typing while indulging in The Lusty Argonian Maid and gorging themselves.

People with special needs

StickyKeys is a Windows feature intended for users who's grandparents shouldn't have been overlooked by the Holocaust. Those who cannot press CTRL ALT Delete shouldn't be using a computer, let alone be on the internet. Sadly, people who complete failures have nothing better to do than be a vocal minority, making life miserable for everyone else.

TIP: Windows users may active this feature by pressing the shift key on the keyboard 5 times. Or hold it down for 8 seconds.

Gamers

Standard reaction to the StickyKeys alert.

Now, what type of person would press the shift key in rapid succession? Smashing random keys on a keyboard then pressing enter to express rage doesn't count. Yes, gamers! When playing a First Person Shooter, a gamer may inadvertently press the shift key in a way that activates StickyKeys. This results in the game exiting full screen mode and keyboard input being directed to the StickyKeys alert. During this very moment, the gamer receives a fatal shot to the head and loses valuable experience points. Should the gamer happen to have an open mic, the result is often entertaining to others playing and may end up on YouTube. Microsoft developers are experienced IRL trolls.