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Copypaste of Vovan

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Copypaste of Vovan is shocking story which is popular among Russian imageboards.

Why "of Vovan"? Cause Vovan is little name of Vladimir Sorokin who is famous among Russians for his feces-eating story and anal humor.

Original text

 

А я люблю обмазываться не свежим говном и дрочить. Каждый день я хожу по земле с черным мешком для мусора и собераю в него все говно которое вижу. На два полных мешка целый день уходит. Зато, когда после тяжёлого дня я прихожу домой, иду в ванну, включаю горячую воду...ммм и сваливаю в нее свое сокровище. И дрочу, представляя, что меня поглотил единый организм говно. Мне вообще кажется, что какашки, умеют думать, у них есть свои семьи, города, чувства, не смывайте их в унитаз, лучше приютите у себя, говорите с ними, ласкайте их.... А вчера в ванной, мне преснился чудный сон, как будто я нырнул в море, и оно прератилось в говно, рыбы, водоросли, медузы, все из говна, даже небо, даже Аллах.

English translation (not strict)

Recently I started to like covering myself in stale feces and masturbating. Almost every morning I walk around my neighborhood with a large garbage bag and collect all the crap I see. It takes a whole day to get two bags full of shit. But it all pays off when I come home after a hard day, go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water and... pour all the crap into the bathtub. And then I masturbate, imagining that I'm being devoured by all the feces. All in all, I think, that poo has its own mind, each pile of shit has its own family, place, feelings, we shouldn't just flush them down the toilet, we should take care of them, talk to them, pet them... And you know what, I had a wonderful dream while lying in the bathtub yesterday, I dived into the sea and it turned into shit, fish, seaweed, jellyfish, everything turned into poo, even Cthulhu[1] himself.

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  1. Originally, it was "Allah".