Crystal ball

A crystal ball is what those who consider themselves to have esoteric knowledge gaze into. They can see for at least 100 years into the future, and can predict things such as death and when you will get raped in the ass. They can tell you whether you will be rich with lots of cash, or just an alcoholic hobo with no prospects and no future.

A crystal ball. Since balls are touching her hands, it is only not gay because she is female. She is also 65 years old, too, and has decades of experience in massaging balls.

Notice how it's not the Wikipedia globe logo she is holding. This is because a crystal ball is one of the things that WIKIPEDIA IS NOT, and is serious business.

Wikipedia

A crystal ball is also something that Wikipedia Is Not. This is a common argument during AFD debates. Because Wikipedophiles are so anal about every precise fucking detail in their encyclopedia, the WP:NOT#CRYSTAL argument surfaces in every debate about things that everyone knows are going to happen, but Wikifags have to be pedantic as fuck about it and delete every article that uses crystal balling techniques. It's almost as prevelant as the citation needed tags fagging up every fucking non-featured article in Wikipedia.

For example, all of the articles for series on Big Brother get AFD debates for crystal balling, because it's too early in the year to have an article, because it's not 100% certain they will have a series in case a television watchdog starts getting butthurt and forces them to cancel the series over a racist scandal. Another good example is music albums and singles, where they start BAWWWWWing over being not able to predict the future. As with anything else, the Wikifags try to keep as much as possible out of their encyclopedia to ensure quality over quantity. They prefer quality over quantity because they don't like to fuck as many bitches as possible like you and I do, and they need to learn that one bit of pussy is just as good as the next piece of pussy, as long as you orgasm from putting your cum (which comes out of your crystal-encrusted balls) in it and spreading your genes and not having to take one fucking bit of responsibility.

Original Research

In cocklusion, all crystal ball-licking is original research. One thing that both Encyclopedia Dramatica and Wikipedia agree on, however, is that trying to insert anniversaries like so is a massive form of unwarranted self-importance and should be punished severely. Nobody will give a fuck about the shitty things that happened at least 100 years ago in the 2080s you fucking faggot, that is, if the human race is even still in existence at that point due to fireballs spitting from the sky caused by global warming... or God, doing it for the lulz.

Asstrology (F.A.O. all Cunts)

The grinning idiot who started all this bullshit.

Astrology done right.

Also known as the science of whoreroscopes, studies the phenomena that a galactic crab that gave your mother cancer on her concaved tits (that’s a dent for you scientifically illiterate black person) can predict with absolute fail that a faggot believer will be able to tell their personality by what month their genetically defect faggot hippies mom and dad had sex.

Although the white master race with their superior science cocksider whoreroscopes as pseudoscience, the believers (man whores) usually dismiss this by claiming:“FUCK YOU, THIS IS SPARTA!” which clearly indicates their fondness to big Mediterranean men with big man bulges wearing skirts and say this is normal.

A proponent of astrology, Carl Jung, now absolutely dead (if you don’t who know he is then you are a poor retard who don’t have access to education and clean water, most likely a nigger, a yellow gook, a Muslim, or a woman) claimed that “his soul-image or anima with whom he mistakenly identifies. And I, Mephistopheles, am, Faust’s own shadow” which made prefect faggot sense and then say butt-rape is normal.

Bill Nye Pwns Astrology

On his children's show, the Eye of Nye, Bill Nye clearly explained why astrology is full of shit by pointed out the obvious, that the constellations have moved from their original dates, and thus people are not the zodiac signs they thought they were. This caused massive butthurt and identity crises among astrofags everywhere and they keep flooding this video to this very day.

	“	scientism is the ultimate disease. Out to disregard everything under the guise of non-proof	„
	—Abyss Reflector, unaware that "scientism" is what gives him the food, clean water, and shelter that allows him to survive on a day to day basis.

	“	Ah... a shining example of sciences' failures.	„
	—James Swanson, an obvious failure

	“	I AM NOT A LIBRA!!!	„
	—Every butthurt "Scorpio" ever

	“	A fun thing to do when someone asks you your sign is to lie and tell them you're something completely different. Then you get to be entertained as the deluded moron makes a fool of him/herself by lighting up and saying "I KNEW IT!"	„
	—chronicprocrastina has the right idea

	“	He's wrong regarding how this information applies to astrology. "Western astrologers don't work with stars or constellations. Their focus is our solar system. They study the patterns of the planets and the moon as they pass through 12 zones defined by the relationship between the Earth and sun. Those zones have the same names as constellations because of a historical quirk, but they are unrelated to the constellations." from: freewillastrologycom	„
	—Kari May unintentionally explains why astrology makes no sense

	“	Bill Nye is a Sagittarius. His body type and cranial structure prove this. He has multiple placements in Sagittarius and Mars in Libra which is in detriment, leads to poor musculature.	„
	—TheAstrocologist still relying on phrenology

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