6 BONG

People on 4chan share their tales of England.

American version of 6 BONG

>go to England on vacation with some friends

>we have to meet at the hotel at 9pm

>it starts to get dark out

>got to check my watch

>I forgot it

>decide to go ask someone

>find someone to ask

>ARE YOU WIMBLY FOURS MATE!? IM CRIMBO NINAN SIX APPLE SMIBBLY DIN BIBBLY CHAP

>have no idea what he just said, ask him to repeat

>YOU WOT M8?

>he starts to laugh maniacally

>Big Ben rings out

>everyone stops in the freaking street

>a carriage with the initials HRH rides down the street

>the freaking queen herself sticks her head out

>OI YOU GITS DID YE HEAR THAT!? IT BE 6 BONG

>driver pokes his head out

>6 BONGERS!?

>another man leaps out of the sewer

>6 FECKING BONGERS!?

>people start pouring out in the street

>YA WANKERS IT BE CRIMBO SIX-A-BONG

>store clerks and chimey sweeps chanting SIX A-BONG SIX A-BONG

>we try to get away, the filth is choking me

>SIX A-BONG SIX A-BONG OLLY JOLLY ITS SIX A-BONG

>the lyrics drown everyone out, can't avoid dancers

>BANG UP THE KNACKERS AND SMACK YER MUM-

>OLL IN THE STREETS ITS SIX A-BONG

>fish and chips being thrown into the air en masse at this point

>someone pulls out a Britsh flag and starts waving it while singing God Save the Queen

>several men are being beaten to death with cricket bats

>a 1950s style police box materialises out of thin air and a man with a long scarf gets out

>our freaking faces

>Be American

>Vacation in England

>At a cafe, looking for food that isn't chicken masala or tea

>Queen of England rolls up in a horse and buggy

>on the wrong side of the road

>OI YOU LOT WUSSAT TOYME?

>stand there helplessly confused

>wax sculpture of the terminator emerges from the other street

>royal band appears behind the queen

>assaults the wax Terminator

>meanwhile Queen is shaving her legs outside of her buggy

>OI YOU LOT BLOODY IDJOTS WOT BONG N THE CLOCK IS IT

>people start panicking because big ben hasn't gone off yet

>I look at my watch

>it's 6 PM

>"Hey, it's six pm"

>SIX PIMS? THE FAK IS A PIM YOU ROLLY JOCKINGWIGGLE

>he pulls out a gun

>It has a watch on it

>OI YOU LOT IS 6 BONG

>big ben rings

>a loud voice comes on the speakers everywhere

>IT'S 6 BONG YOU LOT 6 BONG

>buses of people go by screaming "6 BONG"

>mfw

>go to London, England for a business trip

>go to a rental car kiosk to rent a car

>"hello, I'd like to rent a car"

>"OI WOT DID U SAY"

>"I'd like to rent a car please"

>"A CAR? YOU MUST MEAN AN AUTOMATED ROLLINGHAM"

>"yeah sure"

>he gives me the keys to a car

>get to the car

>it has two brake pedals and one doesn't even work

>can't understand how to get it moving

>go to return the car

>the guy refuses and says some gibberish on how it's supposed to be like that

>decide to take the bus instead

>get to my hotel, there is a bar across the street and my room isn't ready yet so I decide to stop there and see if I can catch up on the broncos game

>take a seat, everybody is watching some guy playing some wierd golf/baseball hybrid

>bartender yells "OI M8 WOT WILL IT BE"

>"a beer"

>"A WOT NOW?"

>"a beer"

>"A WOT?"

>point to a guy across the bar holding a beer

>"what he's having"

>"OH YOU MEAN A FIZZLY WIZZLY WOBBLY POP"

>"yeah that's what I meant"

>he pours me a beer

>it's warm

>tell the bartender it's warm

>"IZ DERE A PROBLEM WIT THAT M8"

>everybody is staring at me

>"n-no"

>go back to drinking my beer

>ask the bartender if he could put the football game on

>"OH YEA THE MANCHESTER UNITED GAME IS ON"

>he turns a soccer game on

>decide I have had enough of this backwards place

>finish my beer

>give it the applause it deserves

>everybody stares at me

>the room is dead silent

>slowly back out of the bar and run to my hotel room

>go to england

>head to restaurant for food

>watch is set to timezone of hometown

>ask someone what time it is

>TOYME? WOTS THAT?

>notice he doesn't have a watch on

>no one in england has a watch

>big ben starts to chime

>everyone stops what they're doing to count the bongs on their fingers

>man crashes his car trying to count the bongs

>waitress drops my order on the floor to count her fingers

>man running down the street: OI IT'S 7 BONG

>mfw

>Be American

>Go to Europe on holiday

>Picking up bags at the baggage claim

>As the bags are coming round people are clapping

>Ask someone what is going on

>"Oh it's just what they do here"

>Confused but leave Airport

>Trying to hail a taxi but not working

>People are just clapping in the street

>Taxis racing to get to the people who are clapping

>Lift my hands up ready to clap

>Everyone stops what they're doing

>Looking at my hands with tentative eyes

>I close them together and make a clap

>Suddenly everyone around me is clapping and applauding my clap

>Taxi races directly at me

>I hop in

>Ask to get to my destination

>Notice the fare is only going up in cents

>Get to destination

>Start paying the guy in cents

>He yells at me

>"SIR WHAT DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING?!"

>I tell him I'm paying him

>"LISTEN JOHNNY FOREIGNER WE ONLY TAKE CLAPS ROUND HERE SO YOU BETTER PAY UP OR ILL HAVE TO CONTACT THE AUTHORITIES"

>Grudgingly clap 350 times

>Notice the taxi drivers face slowly lighting up as each clap is delivered

>He's consciously waiting the next one as if he forgot the last one