- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Sean Taylor
| Hey! | 
|
This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster. You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages. See this article on Google? Want to add something? Join us! |
|
Sean Michael Maurice Taylor was an American football player who played free safety for the Washington Redskins of the NFL. Due to his black skin, his teammates had nicknamed him "Meast", a summarization of "half-man, half-beast". He is only really notable for being dumb enough to be killed by a burglar.
Football
College football
Taylor got into the University of Miami by playing football and sucking cock. This is the process known as "affirmative action" and enrolled in 2001. Because he was a big, black, half animal managed to get to play for Miami straight away in the national championship season. Taylor was named "Big East Special Teams Player of the Week" during this period. This is a prize akin to a participation medal in the special olympics.
After three years of hard steroid pumping he achieved a series of awards that nobody gave a shit about. Notably, as a repressed homosexual he was desperate for sweaty male contact and he used this to good effect to manage to make the most tackles of the year (77 if you care). This repressed homosexuality explains a lot of his obvious compensation (see his gangsta crimes) and his animal rage. Other shit also happened that made the NFL Jews interested
NFL career
Taylor was drafted in 2004 but, due to a mix up at the Department of Defense he was sent to the Washington Redskins instead of to Iraq with the other poor nigras. He was given a seven-year, $18 million contract with the team.
During his time at the Redskins his black person rage led him to have a successful career, emerging as the Redskins' starting free safety by the third game of his rookie season. However, like all nigras, his desperation for chikins drove him to inexplicable violence, despite the fact that his own father is a cop.
After playing badly in 2006 he managed to perform better in 2007. In fact, he was doing so much better that he injured his knee and was seeking a second opinion before his death on November 27, 2007.
In Madden NFL 2008, Taylor is listed with a career-ending groin injury.
On December 2nd, the Redskins played their first game without Sean Taylor. In a LOLLERCOASTER of a game, the Redskins, lost by 1 to the Buffalo Bills. Head Coach Joe "I'm too old to know the rulz," Gibbs cost his team the game, by calling two time outs in a row. This resulted in a 15 yard penalty, and massive lulz. The Bills scored the game winning field goal, and the Redskins fans began to cry. No word if anyone has become an hero over the loss. Not even the ghost of Sean Taylor could help the pathetic Redskins win this game, probably because he was too busy bleeding out of his nigra cock in hell.
American Gangsta
He truly lived up to this nickname by managing to be a bad enough dude to commit the following crimes:
- DUI
October 27, 2004, Taylor was arrested at 2:45am for allegedly driving while black in Fairfax County, Virginia. A judge later acquitted Taylor of the charges in March 2005, after Taylor's owners pointed to his long history of successful cotton picking and his usefulness in the grand old sport of nigger fighting. He was convicted of not allowing a blood alcohol test because the judge didn't want to send the wrong message to the black person community. Later this was overturned by the Jew overlords.
- Armed assault
Some of Taylor's nigra friends decided to goodnaturedly borrow Taylor's atvs in order to troll the streets of Miami for more yayo. Instead of calling the police, Taylor decided to go after the nigras himself. As a result, Taylor was arrested for aggravated assault with a firearm and battery, for allegedly pointing a gun at a person over a dispute over two ATVs that Taylor claimed were stolen. Taylor then allegedly left the scene, but returned shortly afterwards and punched one person. In January 2006, the Jew prosecutor announced that he was filing new charges against Taylor, which would have increased his potential maximum jail time from 16 years to 46 years. In June 2006 the charges against Taylor were dropped as part of a negotiated plea bargain. Taylor donated his time to various charities and made $1,000 donations to 10 southern Florida schools in scholarships and for this he avoided jail time.
- Wearing non matching socks
Taylor and his lover, fellow University of Miami and Redskins' player Clinton Portis, were fined $5,000 in the home game against the Philadelphia Eagles for violating the NFL dress code by wearing socks that did not match the Redskins' standard uniform. Taylor evidently thought he was gangsta enough to wear his own socks.
- Spitting on people
In an attempt to spread his nigger AIDS he spat on Tampa Bay Buccaneers running back Michael Pittman during a January 7, 2006 wild card game in an inappropriate attempt at foreplay and was fined $17,000. He also spat on Cincinnati Bengals player, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, during a 2004 game. Evidently his momma didn't teach him to play nice with the other kids.
Death
—A fan's reaction, [1] |
In true gangsta fashion Taylor was gunned down; but in his case it was by a burglar in his Palmetto Bay home DESPITE HAVING A DOG AND A SECURITY SYSTEM. However, instead of going down in a hail of bullets, Taylor was clumsily shot in the balls. Upon hearing the intruder he reportedly grabbed a machete he kept in his bedroom for protection, blatantly ignoring conventional wisdom about bringing a knife to a gun fight. The bullet passed through his niggerdick and severed the femoral artery in his thigh, causing him to bleed to death. In a waste of money and time he was operated on but got the black person treatment and the operation was a failure and he died. Some argue that his death was a conspiracy to kill him before he became the next black hope. Others believe his being dumb enough to confront an armed robber whilst he himself was armed with little more than his 'fro was the principal cause of his death. As time passes and more details on his death emerge all shall surely be revealed.
Reactions to his death
For the most part no one gave a shit, another nigra gunned down is nothing unusual. However there were a few groups that cared:
- Jocks cared because his death made denied them an object of envy and lust. Vast amounts of sympathy were poured out to a man they'd never met and who'd probably have stolen their bikes if they had.
—mark salyards {columbia, PA) |
- Wiggers cared because they love everything black person, especially muscly homosexual black men that might have given them the nigra love they so desperately crave.
- black person b carin cuase they done lost dey only hope dat dey be getin some good tretment in dis harsh white world. Yo we be losin a tru gansta today yo.
—Black Men United |
- Racists cared because it meant one less black person to kill when the great race war finally begins.
—Franze, [2] |
See also
At present the internet monster is awakening to his death and fans everywhere are starting to offer condolences. Trolling now would yield massive damage. This forum is the biggest Redskins FanForum on the webz. There SeanTay is an hero -- raep for lulz.
