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Snapchat

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Snapchat is yet another photo sharing app created by yet another group of ivy league losers who decided that there simply wasn't enough ways to allow 16-year-old girls to send duckfaces to their insipid friends. It is, at least, the very first piece of social media to recognize that no selfie has ever been important enough to deserve to exist for more than 10 seconds.

Surrounded by the ghosts of past Failbook users.

Snapchat is currently one of the top three social networking platforms, thus proving once again that there's never such as thing as an oversaturated marketplace on the internets. Facebook, trying in vain to prevent their continued downward spiral into obscurity, attempted to purchase Snapchat for $3 billion, but was denied, thus cementing their eventual internment in the Halls of Fail, just like Myspace, and literally anything else Christopher Poole has done, before them.

How it works

Snaps

Since smartphones have a limited amount of storage space (you know, like mere dozens of gigs) that could be devoted to more noble purposes like housing naked selfies that your angry ex-boyfriend will eventually post on /b/, Snapchat allows the user to snap temporary pictures and videos of themselves (creatively called "Snaps") and send it to another user. It will then linger between one and 10 seconds on the other phone (the exact attention span of the average American) before being purged. Remember, despite totally untrue rumors, it is scientifically impossible to take a screencap on a smartphone, so feel free to send as many nude/gay Snaps of yourself as you want, because there is no possibility of them winding up anywhere else online.

Snapchat Stories

Alternatively, since nothing is more important than you, the user may instead elect to create a Snapchat Story. Unlike your ordinary Snap, Stories allow you to catalogue every piece of fucktardedness you do (i.e. everything, since if you're using Snapchat you are clinically fucktarded) over a period of time, and post it for a whole 24-hours. So, whether you're providing insightful minute-by-minute documentation of an Ariana Grande concert, or simply your 11th grade cheerleading practice (because, if you are out of high school and still using Snapchat, it's seriously time to reevaluate your life) you can be sure that creepy teacher you added as a friend because he's "collecting pictures for the yearbook" will have all the fapping material he needs for the next 24-hours.

Ha Ha Ha, Surprise Assholes

Of course, you'd have to be pretty trusting to believe that a major social networking corporation actually gives a shit about your privacy. Snapchat had been secretly collecting users physical locations, user names, and phone numbers all along, 4.6 million of which were happily stolen by hackers. Oh, and all those photos and videos people thought were being permanently deleted were actually still stored and saved on the user's phone and, of course, on Snapchat's servers. Snapchat didn't actually cop to any of this until the Federal Trade Commission caught them in the act of lying about all this, and Snapchat was forced to pony up over 9,000 pounds worth of their Jew Gold in settlements. Naturally, none of these revelations meant anything to the vapid shitheads who use Snapchat, and so its popularity just continues to grow.

Gallery

See also

External links

 

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