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Bruce Jenner
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Enjoy your cock! 8====D (_(__) |
Bruce Jenner, aka Bruce Gender, now known as Caitlyn Jenner, is a washed up sports celebrity, a dear old lady, a murderer of fellow old ladies, and a media-beloved dickgirl who first became famous for being white but running faster than niggers. After realizing a large amount of cosmetic surgeries had fucked his face for good and gave him a gay fairy look, he decided that while he was at it, he would go all in and become stay a woman. Everybody was taken by surprise but not us here at ED, because Jenner's massive faggotry has been obvious all along. Bruce will become the world's first FTF transsexual, not MTF, since Bruce claims to have always been a woman (like Benjamin Button who was born old).
Caitlyn Jenner is an Olympic trans-Jenner icon and the world's biggest spokesperson for trans-Jennerism. But Caitlyn Jenner is perhaps most notable for winning Troll Of The Year 2015 for making the media and millions of people call him a she, lest they receive death threats from the oh so tolerant homogay AIDS-infested community.
Bruce's hunger for dick fame
After winning the dickathlon in 1976, dickathlete Bruce appeared on the Wheaties box (a brand of fish food for humans made with dust and termite droppings pressed into convenient flakes). On this illustrious cereal box Bruce began his transition to fame whore, and after that Bruce's lust for fame reached new depths. But like many former Olympic athletes, Bruce faced difficulties in adjusting to life in the real world after the endorsements cooled off and they got too old for their pedo coaches.
Hilariously failed acting career
With the fame of his glory days long gone, Bruce decided to try and become an actor. In 1980 Bruce appeared in the award-winning film Can't Stop the Music with a bunch of OG megafaggots called The Village People, which won Worst Picture. After Satan himself Mark Burnett made reality shows a thing, Bruce embarked on an endless string of D-list celebrity reality shows. Deciding that he was above Dancing With The Stars, famewhore Bruce appeared on Skating with Celebrities, but it wasn't enough to feed the fame monster deep within his soul. After appearing in shemale icon film Jack and Jill with Adam Sandler in 2011 (where thespian Sandler played both of the titular roles), Bruce was inspired by the record-breaking award-winning film, the first film to ever win in every category at the Golden Raspberry Awards.
Bruce killed an old lady by texting/smoking while driving
In February 2015 Bruce killed an old woman. He was driving around while smoking with one hand, texting with the other and trying to steer with his dick, when he crashed into the car of 70 year old Kim Howe and killing her on the spot.
Since future-penile-amputee Bruce killed an old lady with his car, the kike lawyers of the Kardashians could smell a lawsuit coming, meaning a prime-time special was imperative because LGBT people can never be criticized thanks to gay bullies and useful idiots online. Bruce claiming to be a woman made him a hero, a greater more inspiring achievement and bigger feat of strength than winning a gold medal in the Summer Olympics. It takes a lot of courage to say something that wins you a new TV show and millions of new fans who will attack anyone who says anything bad about you. Bruce had transitioned to immunity from mockery from everyone as a new member of the Personal Pronouns cult.
Thankfully, this woman's son is suing Jenner. We hope that the case is successful and that Bruce lives to regret his surgery as the other inmates enjoy his faggot ass in jail.
Trying to become a woman to revive his career
After becoming old and pudgy and irrelevant, many late night comedians made jokes about Bruce looking more and more like an old lesbian. The Kardashians, seizing on a wave of faggotry sweeping America and a wave of AIDS sweeping Indiana, capitalized on this (just like Lady Gaga capitalized on jokes that she had a penis and "came out" as bi but married a dude anyway). The Klan persuaded Bruce, who nobody gave a fuck about since all his fans died of AIDS in the 80s, into cutting his dick off in order to revive his "career" like John Wayne Bobbitt. Some argue it was Bruce's own idea to mutilate his body because he always wanted to be a Transformer, and to get all the Kardashians off his back and gain any respect. In any case, Kim Kardashian is no longer a talentless vapid whore, she's a socially conscious trans-darling, like Jeffrey Tambor or Felicity Huffman or Jared Leto (all actors who pretend to be something they're not for a living).
Bruce was tired of living a lie: the lie that he was ever famous. In order to set things straight, Bruce had to do something that would make him famous, which in this day and age means revealing to everyone what you do in your bedroom (like Kim Kardashian).
Becoming Tranny Grandma
As an empath, Bruce wanted to know what it was like to win the dickathlon and father children, but also what the female species goes through on a daily basis (if they've never had a period or PMS and they're rich and have had plastic surgery and wear designer dresses and appear on magazine covers and have photoshoots and have their own TV show -- you know, the Olsen twins).
After having all the benefits of a man for his entire life, and fathering multiple children with his Y chromosomes present in every cell in his body, and since his life is a joke on a reality show anyway, he decided to surprise everyone at the end of his life by growing his hair longer and declaring that he has been a woman all along, even though he hadn't even cut his dick off yet (Kris Jenner cut off his balls long ago). This claim was verified by the scientific community who could spot his faggotry from space, debunking skeptics who thought women didn't compete in the decathlon in the 20th century. In an effort to become big in Japan and one-up his wife and show he is the dominant male in the relationship (which he failed at for decades), Bruce turned himself into The Emperor Of All Trannies And Chicks With Dicks.
Bruce's announcement robbed him of his 1976 gold medal carried no consequences whatsoever except having to commit to his publicity stunt and protection of Xir's Wikipedo article and endless cocksucking by the media and Internet and he gets to keep the gold medal which he'll use as a delightful brooch. His relationship with women over the years can be explained by the fact that he is a female lesbian soul in a male body. This was explained by Bruce himself to Diane Sawyer, in a story where God made Bruce the most famous spearchucker in history (until Kanye West came along), but God decided to fuck with him like He fucks with cleft palate babies.
Bruce Caitlyn took the name "Caitlyn" with a C in order to hilariously troll the Kardashian Klan, and eclipse all of them and Kanye at once, and become the bedazzled elephant in every room they go into. The letter C is the most trans letter of the alphabet, since it doesn't know if it's a K or an S and wants it both ways. Bruce also wants it both ways: showering with men and now women. And being able to grab his own fake boobs while he jerks off. Finally Caitlyn can cum on his own tits, something Kris never let him do in 23 years of marriage. The C also stands for "cock" which he safely preserved between his legs, because he's not full crazy. Yet. If xir's fame ever begins to wane, he can always pull a dick out of a hat later and throw his old penis in Kris's ugly face. Being able to accuse the Kardashians or Kanye of being bigots and making the paparazzi constantly badger them with questions about Caitlyn will be the icing on his dickgirl cake. A "No More Questions About Caitlyn" policy is pretty much certain.
—Rob Kardashian, upon seeing Caitlyn for the first time | ||
Bruce's announcement would only be brave if, in fact, he was a man pretending to be a woman, thereby bravely having to go through with his bluff and having to sacrifice his body for the cameras. You would think it would be a relief that he was no longer living a lie, but if he was lying about being a woman you can see how torturous it would be to publicly lie like that, like OJ saying he was still looking for the killer of Nicole Brown Simpson, or Bill Clinton saying "I did not have sexual relations with that woman", or John Travolta saying he isn't gay.
Jenner will accomplish two goals with this move: let loose his faggot nature that has been urging to get out of the closet for so long and match his family fellows in attention whoring. Being 65, Jenner doesn't have much longer to live and was waiting to die alone, but a sex change is always a good way to exist again for the liberal media and the SJW crowd.
He is now on a journey to become the prettiest, pretty princess in the whole wide world. And Bruce is going to tell his story, his way, now that he's ready to, and now that it's going to be filmed for TV.
Some people think his daughters are prettier, but they are tremendously wrong. Actually, we could safely assert that while Jenner is truly hideous, his daughters are even uglier than him. The only thing they are better at is the ability to maintain a high fat percentage and the tendency to use their celebrity in the worst way possible.
People of bad faith are saying that Jenner just did it for the lulz in order to troll his son-in-law, making sure he embarasses him as much as it is humanly possible in retaliation of West being a world-class cocksucker, drama whore and shitty musician.
Vanity Fair cover
In a rush to capitalize on this, Vanity Fair decided to stick Bruce on the cover, thus making the oldest 'female' cover star of Vanity Fair a 65-year-old man in a corset.
This was done with the help of no small amount of Photoshop being used to make Bruce look like a woman... Actually, he still didn't look like a woman, but at least he didn't look like what he usually resembles, which is a burn victim.
Now that Caitlyn has transitioned to media relevance by looking even more like an old woman, he can finally know what it's like to be treated like an aging female celebrity in Hollywood -- all his roles will dry up faster than his vagina VAGINA PENDING (TBD). Yes, it took a man with a swinging dick to become a famous post-menopausal woman in Hollywood who wasn't Betty White or Oprah or Meryl Streep. Bruce courageously became an old lady in order to prove that men really are better at everything.
In an inspirational gift to the entire world, Caitlyn Jenner proved that plastic surgery is the only way that older women can appear on magazine covers. When it comes to resurrecting a showbiz career, Bruce showed all those irrelevant old ladies with cobwebbed pussies how it's done, ever since Joan Rivers died from throat surgery. And Bruce did it all without possessing a 65-year-old dusty cunt.
Feeling empowered, many other trannies started posting pictures of themselves under the hashtag 
#MyVanityFairCover, but this ended up just being laughable as, without the aid of an entire team of photo-retouching artists to work on them like the ones that were required for Jenner, all their pictures looked exactly like what they actually are:
A bunch of ugly dudes in dresses.
Just to drive home the point that all trannies are just batshit crazy retards, even Chris Chan himself posted a Vfair cover picture of himself:
Public reaction to Caitlyn Jenner
Who will be brave enough to call bullshit?
It will take a small child or a redneck or a scientist to declare that the emperor wears no tampon. Strangely, the child and the redneck and the scientist will all be in agreement. The child will then receive death threats for being a hateful bigot, while liberal fascists in Western civilization convert all restrooms to open-air gender-neutral Chinese shitholes in the ground.
The inventor of the sex change says Bruce is just a pervert
One of the biggest opponents of the sex change surgery is one of the people who helped invent it. Ever since he and his pals created it they realized transgenderism is not a real thing and people who want to have a sex change are just crazies that need to be locked up instead of operated on. After careful examination they came to the conclusion that trannies that have tranny surgery not only end up killing themselves anyway at the realization of the abomination that they are, but actually kill themselves 20 times faster!
Since then they have been trying to end the lulz by attempting to get people to stop having sex changes so that the freaks would stop an heroing.
But what does this have to do with Bruce? Well, in one of the articles written by this guy
(archive), he says that Bruce displays the classic symptoms of someone with "Autogynephilia".
What is Autogynephilia? A fetish where sick fucks get off to the wish of being the little girl, meaning that they get off sexually to the thought of themselves as a woman. Bruce's sex change was a mistake because he's just a horny freak, not a real person with gender dysphoria.
Future plans
Tranny Grandma's future plans include being the biggest tranny to ever appear in a Super Bowl commercial. And since Caitlyn missed The Fappening (featuring World Cup champion Hope Solo's butthole), he will eventually pose nude for Playboy Hustler as an inspiration to Hugh Hefner and other seniors. Just chop those sagging balls off gentlemen! Who needs 'em? Caitlyn will also enter the WNBA and the WNBA will never be the same be the same. And Caitlyn can finally tell Bradley Chelsea Manning to go suck a dick, since having a free license to insult trannies is the main benefit of being a tranny.
As a tranny and female xirself, Caitlyn is now the go-to media guru on all things Tranny© and xie's opinion as New Queen Tranny is the final say, on male or female topics really (because xie knows from experience). Caitlyn's efforts in trolling the entire politically correct media and female species have been wildly successful, since men see him as a realized punchline, while women must bite their tongue and wear a fake smile (which comes second nature to females) as they say "she looks great" (always a lie when a female says it). Bruce was also successful in trolling every page that mentions him on TOW, ensuring drama and Internet Court cases for years to come. In the long term, Caitlyn plans to become the first female President of the United States and tell women to go fuck themselves.
Gallery
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Drake 'no truce, you're Bruce' Bell. -
We all know it's coming. -
Bruce Jenner, not feeling very pretty yet. -
Busted.
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Science project. -
See also
- Faggot Bruce, not related to Bruce Jenner at all
- Kanye West, his step son-in-law
- Khloe Kardashian, a stupid whore who is not as pretty as anyone!
- Kim Kardashian, a stupid whore who is not as pretty as Bruce!
- Social justice
- Transgender
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Bruce Jenner is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Bruce Jenner is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article June 14 and 15, 2015 | ||
| Preceded by Ellen Pao |
Bruce Jenner | Succeeded by Rachel Dolezal |
