Palshife

Palshife was restored from the depths of encyclopediadramatica.com. Some material will likely be outdated, missing, and/or no longer considered funny in today's lulz standards. You can help by updating it and making it worth reading.

Palshife is yet another closet furry and otherkin. When not busy making an ass of himself on LiveJournal, he can be seen heckling the faggier of his ilk, angsting to Nine Inch Nails, and mocking really bad furry smut on VCL. Object of obsession and personal love-slave of Starblade. Like most lolcows, he is prone to the very drama he detests; total lulz can be derived from his reactions when you mock his fragile female dragon soul. Most important to his identity is that he is a voraphile and more recently a pregnophile. Palshife is also an alcoholic. Evidence can be seen on his livejournals, which are listed below - there are also many eyewitness accounts of his drunken lulz on the part of current and former roommates. He also has a dolphin fetish and likes to yiff a certain dolphin plushie of his. He even dreams of one day having sex with a dolphin. He typefucks with furries like any basement-dweller, and when accused of being a e-slut, He will BAAWWWWW about involving his friends, and when confronting him on the issue of who exactly he has slept with IRL, his LJ friends, such as e-richard, will call HAX and do whatever they can to hide his nature from the rest of the internet.

Dolphins and Mermaids Love Each Other And Are In Love. KISS KISS

Palshife is very obsessed with respect from his friends, so he often does what he can to cover up things like his bed jumping and his drug using. He also cannot admit that his charisma (or lack thereof) and general ability to generate lulz is due entirely to his drinking habits. Two of his favorite hobbies include chain-smoking and pretending to take hour-long showers while masturbating on the toilet. When not fapping, he spends time with whores, accumulated $5000 in debt. Palshife suffers permanent max HP damage upon contact with miniblinds, extension cords, the truth, money, napkins, bicycles, stairwells, beverages, employment, police reports, weight-loss programs, and fresh air.

He is currently dwelling in an Orange County homeless shelter.

Quotes

	“	If I can fit it, all the furniture I'm bringing is a plastic three-drawer cabinent.	„
	—On His Worldly Possessions

	“	He peed in my cup.	„
	—On a Former Roommate

	“	Dragons were baaaad.	„
	—On His Spending Habits

	“	Foxes, what is this for?	„
	—On Folded Napkins at Thai Restaurants

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Eka's chat drama

Palshife is a user of Eka's chat, but Falrea_Mackenzie chased him out. After changing his password to something completely random and leaving Eka's Chat FOR-EVAR he decided to change his mind and created a new character called Siniykril. You can log on to the chat and compare the actions of the character 'Palshife' and the character 'Siniykril' and see for yourself that they have exactly the same mannerisms, along with the same choice of sycophants to suck his furry e-penis.

Smokescale drama

Palshife, despite years being stalked by Starblade, has himself taken to stalking Smokescale, despite Smokecale doing whatever it takes to avoid him. Only time will tell how long Palshife pushes Smokescale before his victim falls over the edge, or rather jumps over the edge and becomes another Stars' Pyre. Hopefully if Smokescale commits suicide, Palshife will go with him, and thus Starblade whose psychology prohibits him from being alive when the love of his life is dead. 3 birds with one stone, eh?

Palshife on /b/

Palshife requests pedobear vore. Anon fur delivers!

Palshife is a /b/tard. He anonymously requested a vore picture involving the only OPENLY furry /b/tard and Pedobear. Yes, even though there's already a voresnake. Said picture is only proof that Palshife is a virus that causes cancer to every online community on which he exists, even if from behind the scenes.

Palshife's accounts on LiveJournal

• palshife_sakura (Current)
• cralenus {redirects to palshife_sakura}
• onebluedragon {deleted}
• palshife {hidden}

Palshife is part of a series on Furfaggotry Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.