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OUYA

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The OUYA is an underpowered 8th generation gaming console with the same technical specifications as a PS2. It was the result of a kickstarter to create an android powered gaming console. The developers raked in a ton of cash and instead of making something good they made an absolute mess. More detailed below.


The mastermind behind the Ouya


History

Julie Lehrman created what was known as the Boxer8 in 2012, making a Kickstarter with the goal of a staggering $950,000 to create a shitty Android-based platform. But enough retards thought this was a great idea, and they almost paid ten times this amount for a machine that didn't even have any games confirmed yet.

Originally, the system was touted as being very mod-friendly, which attracted people who wanted another Linux machine to add to their collection. However, being the executives that they were and expecting to make more money off of selling free games than the hardware, ended up locking up the OUYA to hackers. And seeing how it didn't have any games people cared about nor the openness for the more niche crowd, nobody bought it.

Hardware

It's a toaster. Actually, toaster is probably a bit of an overstatement, because mid-range computers from 2006 can outperform this. For one thing, it's basically as powerful as a lower android tablet, which begs the question why one doesn't just get an android tablet and one of those bluetooth gaming controller. It being a console, it needs a television to connect to. However, the HDMI output is DRM'd with HDCP, meaning that streaming and recording games on the Ouya is much more difficult compared to regular consoles with a capture card.

Additionally, the controllers have been known to be extremely laggy. Some members of the Ouya Defense Force will say it's only the first wave, but it just goes to show how much of a botched product the Ouya is.

Games

The Ouya touts itself as being completely free to play in its game library. However, virtually every game on the OUYA has in-app purchases. The OUYA won't even connect to its online store unless a credit card number is put in. Again, being completely free to play. Great job. Anyways, because no one wanted to be near this slowly festering pile of garbage, the OUYA team started the "Free the Games Fund", meaning they give Kickstarter devs some of their excess jewgold if they make an OUYA-exclusive game. This ended up being a waste of everyone's time and money, and its big sellers such as Towerfall and Duck Game got ported to other platforms anyways, making this effort entirely pointless.
The most successful game on the Ouya is an indieshit game called Towerfall, which sold 7000 units. To put that in perspective, that's less units than Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing. Seriously.'

Ads

Quickly learning that actual developers were abandoning the Ouya as fast as they could, the retards behind the Android powered toaster made a couple of butthurt ads as their outdated hardware couldn't run regular console games.


The Ouya has extremely diverse games as detailed below

Gallery of games

Original games About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

So yeah basically just indie pixel shit and rip-offs. But what did you expect?

How to play good games on the OUYA

Being the nice folks we are here at ED, we want to help you now that you bought yourself some indieshit and want to play some games on it.
1 Download one of the following:

2 Go somewhere like here and download actual good games
3 Copy them to the OUYA
4 Wonder what you're doing with your life and why you aren't just playing these on a more powerful computer (which yours probably is) in an emulator with an actually good controller.
5 Throw out the OUYA

Reviews

Even niggers hate it.

Into the trash it goes

Previous Video | Next Video

Money laundering

Death

As of July 2015, Ouya's atrophied shell has been sold to Razer to use in their own shit console. And thus closes a tale of high hopes and underwhelming outcomes.

Gallery

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    Perhaps not
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    When life gives you Ouyas, kill yourself.
 

OUYA is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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