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Vacuum Bed

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Typical BDSM play/James Bond Re-enactment.

A vacuum bed is a form of surreal, yet sexy sick fuckery which involves using a giant latex envelope and a vacuum pump to turn unsuspecting women into a cross between a HAZMAT Unit and one of those (sexy) oil sillhouettes from the intro to "The World is Not Enough".

Breathing is normally facilitated through a pipe, or hole, but one can also breath via BDSM Gasmask for when the atmosphere of war, toxic gas attacks and pant-shitting fear is missing from your lovelife.

The purpose of one of these devices is not immediately obvious, but the pedophiles among us will immediately realise this as both a method of child restraint, hymen protection (for plausable deniability) and, if desired, snuff. I mean, who doesn't want to fuck a child's corpse through a giant black condom?

One can assume that if combined with a fatty, a man, or your mom, great lulz will ensue.

We don't want to know how many deaths there have been as a result of use of this Yes we do.

Oh shit...

Oh, did we mention that this is impossible to use on your own? As in, you need to not only have another person with you to turn it on, but you also have to trust them enough to turn it off and/or not introduce bodily fluids/solids to your breathing apparatus?

Yeah, we're talking to you. Sick fuck.


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