Europimp

Chris 'DJ_Euro' Holmes says, "They love my smile."

Chris Holmes, who is also commonly known by such aliases as "Europimp" or "DJ Euro", is a quasipop-culture icon as well as quasi-soccer talent. He was born in 1990 and is the youngest player on his soccer team. His notability increases as a result of the extra attention he pays to his fans. "E.P.," as he is sometimes referred to, is noted as a player on Manchester United as well as for boasting his disdain for "fake people". He can often be found spending his time talking on his Moto Razr cell-phone while on his web camera at the Stickam website. Many just call him faggot.

History

There is some confusion as to the birthplace of Chris Holmes. His fansite claims that his birthsite is London, England; however, his biological brother claims that it was actually Chicago, Illinois. Surprisingly, his native language is Sweedish and is ashamed of his English accent.

Interests

Europimp is at the pinnacle of popularity. His fashion sense is ever-changing. He frequently sports clothing with American sports teams and typically wears a cap. At one point in Q3 2005, he attempted to introduce a new style known as "Resol," where he wore very small pants that reveal the ankles. His influence did not spread and "Resol" died almost as quickly as it had started. Despite this failure, Europimp still enjoys modeling and considers it high on his list of interests.

As far as his musical tastes are concerned, Europimp is only interested in the current trendiest American music. One of his favorites is John Mayer, popular among many rambunctious teenagers. Europimp's fascination with music has led him to composing his own. He has created a new alias, "DJ Euro," and has yet to sign onto an independent record label. Not only does Europimp DJ his own music, but he also performs the vocals aspects of his self-compositions, saying himself "i love to sing and people say im really good". He has yet to release his works; however, they are highly anticipated in the slums and ghettoes of Western Europe.

Discrepancies between Usage of "Futbol"

There is much debate over which term of the word "soccer" Europimp actually uses through the net and in real life conversation. Most commonly on his stickam page he uses the word "Futbol" (almost certainly derived from the Brazilian word for soccer), however, in chatrooms and other online outlets he has been known to also use Football (British/German version), and soccer (American). When asked about such blatent inconsistencies he declined to comment

Fame and Fortune in the World of Warcraft

Europimp also is somewhat of an internet celebrity over the virtual realm called "World of Warcraft". His current avatar sports the tag "Basshunter", named after his fellow musical artist in Sweden. He is in a very prestigious guild on his current server Garona (previously Mal'Ganis). As the guild master of Death and Taxes and as their Hunter main tank/raid leader, he has made quite a name for himself.

At one point on a public Stickam Lobby chatroom he claimed that he had "over 8 level 60's", however, when one user pointed out that on his character screen he only had 1 level 60 he muttered something about a completely separate World of Warcrat account that he used in his spare time.

Time Paradox

Another remarkable mystery about Europimps whereabouts is his ability to be at his current residence in Illinois and then only several hours later to be back in England just in time to make his Manchester United soccer practices. It has been suggested by his fans and his fellow Stickam users that Chris Holmes lives in some sort of Time Paradox, either that or that he owns a rare Supersonic Jet Airliner.

When directly asked about how he manages his time so well and how can live on two different continents at once he only said, "Time is money friend", and then promptly returned to the bowels of his English estate. He has been well known to not appreciate the press lingering around his mansion, and from time to time can be seen throwing pictures of girls from his high school, which he found on MySpace out his window at reporters and cameramen.

Europimp Meets Owen Wilson

In September 2005 Europimp held a private tour of Europe for his longtime life friend Owen Wilson. In fact, Europimp has gone so far to include a reference about Wilson on his Stickam main page under the 'Favorite Movies Section', saying he likes "anything with vince vaughn owen wilson, ben stiller, or will ferrell."

Being a devoted Europimp follower himself, Wilson requested the private tour be given by for a modest sum of 1,000,000 USD. Along the tour, the press was completely shunned of any coverage, although one reported claimed to hear Europimp utter the words "It's not easy pimpin' an entire continent."

Related Pages

• GayGod

External Links

• Europimp's Fanpage, he can often be found here at one of his friends' web cameras.
• Manchester United, the homepage of his soccer team.