Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 6, 2022

Sonic

Created by a trio of Japanese video game making furfags as a successor to Alex Kidd, Sonic himself is essentially like a faggot who makes claims to have once been as cool as you, but no one can remember why. He can run over 500 mph on land, 700 mph on the Autobahn, and 15 mph up Tails' ass. Sonic zipped through the semen-speckled world of the furry fandom in 1991. "The more the merrier!" laughed the furries, and since then, the pincushion has become prime rib for masturbatory fantasies, fanart and fanfiction; especially on DeviantArt.

The Sonic fanbase is, unsurprisingly, filled with furfaggotry, pedophilia, and severe autism. For some reason, a fuckton of fetishists involve Sonic characters into their fucked up fap-fests, as can be noticed easily by the extreme number of "art" websites such as DeviantArt containing enough Sonic fetishist fanart to make even Mary fucking Poppins lose all faith in humanity and turn into an alcoholic. Macrophiliacs, scatophiliacs, voraphiliacs, eproctophiliacs, fucking furfags, everyone gets in on the mental illness induced fun. The fandom is also filled with butthurt drama, the essential staple for any furry fandom, usually between "new" and "old" Sonic fans.

While the first few games were fun for five minutes, after that, they lost their novelty pretty fucking quick, like anything else from the 1990s. The dumbasses at SEGA obviously failed to get that through their heads, and eventually everyone on Earth could agree how much Sonic sucked after at least a hundred fucking shitty rehashes of the same shit. Quite simply put, Sonic was never cool.

And he will never be.

(( GOTTA GO FAST ))

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