Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/June 20, 2023

Twilight

Twilight (pronounced "toilet") or Why Mormons Shouldn't Write Vampire Fiction, along with its cash-cow sequels New Moon, Eclipse (also known as Sparklequeers versus Furfags), and Breaking Dawn, are a series of gay vampire romance Harry Potter fan pulp fiction triple-ply rolls of bath tissue that appeal to the tiny minds of 16 year old girls, vampirefags, werewolf story fanbois, and, of course, Jews.

Full of one-dimensional characters and completely devoid of originality, the series is comparable to reading the scribblings and shit stains of an epileptic downie coloring while a strobe light is being shone in its face. It has been rumored that when the first copy of Twilight came off the press, Joyce, Twain, and Faulkner all simultaneously shit themselves from beyond their respective graves.

The book series is easily the worst thing to hit the werewolf genre since furries, and the worst thing to happen to vampires ever. The entire series of books and movies, which would have been better as a one season television series on Lifetime then forgotten, have no redeeming value to speak of as either literature or cinema, and should be avoided like The Black Plague.

If you want to know just how horrible Twilight is, it's worse than Tara Gilesbie's masterpiece My Immortal, because My Immortal was funny. Twilight just makes small children cry. The maddening thing is that Twilight isn't rotting on fanfiction.net like it should be, but making shitloads of cash which funds its BBW author's lard ass with twinkies and ho ho's. The author is listed in Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People for catering to the fantasies of 16 year old girls who wouldn't know a good book if it raped them in the ass. Twilight also supports pedophilia, necrophilia, incest, bestiality and babyfuck.

But most importantly, Twilight is a foolproof blueprint for you sick fucks out there to tap that jail-bait ass you've been stalking for months. Proven to work better than candy and a van with tinted windows, also cheaper than roofies with twice the brain damage.

(( Boku No Pico Is Still A Better Love Story Than This Flaming Piece Of Shit ))

What have I missed?	Men 2 days ago	Randy Robert Stair 4 days ago	NORP 6 days ago