Men

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Men

Men are the better half of the human race, and have contributed almost, if not all, technologies and creations that have benefitted the human race, including goatse, bacon and lulz, among many other wondrous things. Earth would be a haven of excellence for all living beings if it were not for the unfortunate addition of the other half of the human race, women A.K.A walking vagoos with tits stapled on.

The downfall of man

Years ago, all was well with the land. Men were working hard, earning money, sowing many lulz and win was to be found wherever one walked. However, in recent years something horrifying has happened. Women have begun thinking someone somewhere actually gives a shit about what they have to say, lulz. This has caused them to wander from the kitchen without returning, a prospect so horrifying it could not have been contemplated even 50 years ago. Feminism and women's rights (ironic seeing as they have none lol) began and they have been an issue for every man ever since. However, men have strived to continue on in spite of the cancerous tumour known as woman that leaches off of them every opportunity they can get, insisting men have to care about them or some such nonsense

The Daily life of Men

Men have a routine mentality, commonly found in nature, that they follow perfectly almost everyday.

Daily Routine

8:00 am  Wake up
8:01 am  Wake up fat wife and proceed to beat her
8:02 am  Drink heavily
9:30 am  Go get welfare check, while pretending to have a job
10:00 am  Go to a strip club, still drunk
12:30 pm  Get thrown out for assaulting a stripper
2:00 am  Wake up in a gutter
5:00 am  beat wife, go to sleep

Failure to follow this schedule often results in them going the goatse at a playground.