Something Awful Sycophant Squad

SASS or Something Awful Sycophant Squad was an international racist organization run by buttes and populated by people with nothing better to do but to expose the niggers and fat bitches on the Something Awful forums, including abusive moderator behavior, fraud on the part of Lowtax and the general unprofessional air by the operators of the Something Awful business. As well it existed to parody and mock the general Goon happy, shiny attitude and cocksucking of Lowtax and the rest of the moderation team. Radium was also a frequent topic of conversation in his infinite worthless incompetence and inability to keep some fairly trivial PHP scripts and a handful of servers running.

Much of SASS, along with most of "The Best of SASS", has been preserved on Archive.org.

History

The front page of SASS. How Web 2.0.

SASS was started as a copycat of the successful Rage Against the Forums blog from back at least 100 years ago, attempting to provide a more interactive, and ultimately more humorous experience for Goons and the five permabanned IRC pants-shitting trolls that make up SASS' membership.

SASS was successful beyond anybody's wildest expectations, and as of this writing sports over 450,000 posts and almost 7,000 users. This is growing at an exponential rate, daily, so these numbers might only have been accurate last Thursday.

Since SASS's inception, thousands of goons have flocked to it, ranging from serious goons who want to see change to the Something Awful forums to goons only casually interested and want a more fun, less ban-filled environment where cool people can relax and take it easy.

As of 11/20/2008 The 5 neckbearded Linux-wielding pantsshitters from IRC have taken down BUTTES, the sassclopedia, and evacuated SASS instead of their bowels for once. In short, SASS has been redacted from the interwebs. SASS now only lives on as a phantom in the shadowy echoes of Google's cache. SASS is dead. Long live SASS.

The Great DoS Attack

Seemingly a goon took the time to get out of his hugbox long enough to ask a packet kiddie to borrow his botnet to launch a massive Denial of Service attack at SASS. As such SASS has been down for several days, and finally had its hosting terminated by DreamHost (see below mention about how DREAMHOST SUCKS THE COCK).

Affiliation with Google

As a part of ongoing activities within the Buttesian Illuminati, Google has been brought in as a core affiliate. Buttes, other permabanned IRC pants-shitting Linux trolls and Google have teamed up to ensure that Something Awful-related results are dead-last every time a result could be returned for Something Awful, as well as Something Awful being ranked among the top for searches like "Child molesting horse sex" and "lowtax has a tiny penis that is why his chink wife married him since she is used to tiny penises because she is a chink." SASS also boasts the #1 Google results for "chinkwife" and "niggerdeath". SASS talks are in wresting control of "mangosteen 888".

Troubles with DreamHost

Other than the Great Hack Attack (see below), SASS has had extreme troubles with how shitty Dreamhost really is. They fucking suck a lot, randomly change your server's IP address and gleefully will let your shared hosting server go down for days at a time. Fuck you, DreamHost, you fucking bags of shit.

The Great Hack Attack

LOL HACKED! MORE LIKE SOME DREAMHOST FAGGOT USED THE ROOT PASSWORD TO CHANGE THE INDEX.PHP PAGE. LOL GOOD ONE FAGGOT.

At 19:39 PST on Tuesday Feb. 20, 2007 SASS's front page was defaced. The SASS admin team took each other's dicks out of their mouths and set about reviewing hundreds of megabytes of logs to try to determine the cause. When no satisfactory cause could be found, a deeper review was performed where event timelines were taken into consideration and discrepancies in time became evident. As well, the defaced page mysteriously vanished, in spite of the administration team's efforts to preserve it as FORENSIC EVIDENCE. Finally, it turned out that access and error logs showed several strange GETs were done on the SASS page from a machine that belonged to DreamHost (a workstation employees would use).

The admin team sent a note to DreamHost with all gathered evidence and resumed their massive orgy of gay sex. Finally, a reply was received from DreamHost that shocked the Internets.

Thank you for writing.

We have investigated this matter fully and have determined that it was
indeed [REDACTED], a fairly recent DreamHost hire, responsible for this
defacement.

We at DreamHost take such matters very seriously, and understand that our
reputation as a world-class web hosting company largely depends on the
conduct of our employees. Support personnel here at DreamHost are
entrusted with a great deal of power, and with that power comes trust - a
trust that was, unfortunately, violated by this action.

Effectively immediately [REDACTED] is no longer an employee of DreamHost Web
Hosting, and will no longer have administrative access to our web hosting
servers. While we have no reason to believe that he will take part in
further action against you (he took the termination fairly well), we do
recommend that you change all passwords associated with your account as a
precautionary measure.

We want to express our apologies to you, a long-time DreamHost customer,
for what happened. There is no excuse for what happened, and we are sorry
that it did. As a token of that apology, I have taken the liberty of
crediting your account the value of $119.40 (a year's worth of your
current L1 CDI web hosting plan). You may use it however you wish.
I hope that by these actions, your faith in DreamHost will be restored.
If you have any questions, please let us know.

As it would turn out, the DreamHost employee who "hacked" SASS was a Something Awful Goon, and felt it was his Goony duty to sacrifice his job for the sake of defending the honor of Lowtax and Radium, incompetent admin duo extraordinaires.

A note to future wannabe hackers: using the root password you have access to legitimately to deface someone's website is not hacking or 1337. Also, losing your job for the sake of a stupid Internet forum is a brilliant idea!

The Great Admin5 Meltdown and the SCAM EXODUS

On August 8th, 2008 one of the cowardly admins, under the disguise of the parachute admin account Admin5, got butt hurt about all the rampant anti-mod sentiment in SCAM and decided to sperg out and delete SCAM. Not only that, but this Jew decided to delete any post or thread that mentioned SCAM and "SCAMHoused" any user questioning this turn of events. Of course SCAMHousing, which made it so that a user could only post in a subforum which no longer existed, was tantamount to banning the user. The next day, Admin5 posted this Goony response on the Sassclopedia:

On the afternoon of August 9th 2008, the forum known as SCAM ceased to 
exist as an active forum.

Registered members will have noticed that one of our subforums "Serious 
Conversations About Mangosteen" is gone from the forum index. The decision 
was made last night that it would be removed as a functional subforum at 
this time. The reason for this is that the fundamental purpose of SCAM 
has been subsumed back into the other subforums, and SCAM has evolved into 
something that is at odds with the way we have set out to run SASS.

Firstly we created the SCAM subforum as a place for people to make crass 
jokes about SA without running the risk of derailing threads and seeming 
petty and lacking substance when making arguments about SA. Also because 
when SASS was new people wanted to shout MANGOSTEEN $1,000 CHAIR after having 
to hold it in for so long. These days people have tempered their excitement 
and mangosteen jokes are fairly normal outside of SCAM.

Secondly SCAM has evolved into its own little community, which is cool but 
it can't be run the way that the SCAM regulars would like it to be run. SASS 
is supposed to be an SA supplement, not an SA replacement. We are not in the 
business of running a general discussion forum and all of the drama and 
bullshit that entails. We're not trying to run a better forum than SA or have 
higher standards of forum administration and we have always maintained that.

None of us like having to have ridiculous groups like "SCAMHouse" and hand out 
stupid punishments for seemingly dumb rules but that is what has become 
necessary in order to uphold the sanctity of the other subforums. At some 
point though we have to weigh up the time spent on SCAM versus the time spent 
on the other subforums and it quickly becomes obvious something is out of 
order.

We would like to bring SA back into the focus of SASS instead of this petty 
meta drama and squabbling. The intention of SASS was to be a place where 
people could come and talk about things they couldn't talk about on SA, and 
it fortunately still is. But it also has become a place where people fill 
in time between SA drama bombs by having rivalries with other posters and 
trying to entertain themselves with SASS drama. This isn't the stated 
intention of SASS and we do not have the time and resources to keep it 
this way.

So, SCAM is gone and we would like to promote a renewed focus on Something 
Awful and their mods and admins. Lowtax has begun posting again and there 
are many bans and probations that could make great threads. There's no 
shortage of content around, so remember that SASS is what you make it and 
if you want it to be interesting and funny then go dig up some pictures of 
Hypnotic's new clothes or go make a thread about that unjust permaban. It all 
starts with you guys.

Thanks for your patience and sorry for seeming like we were censoring all your 
threads, we wanted to write an appropriate announcement and it took some time. 
We will be restructuring the order of the subforums and we will keep SCAM 
available as an archive.

-ADMIN5 

Once SCAM was deleted the posting quality and quantity of SASS decreased dramatically, and the lulz ground to a halt. The members of SCAM migrated to a spin-off forum smyd.info. Everything was going okay until the SASS admins caved into pressure and decided to reinstate SCAM.

The Death of SASS

Meet KIR's Sister Shelly.

There are several theories about the ultimate demise of SASS. The first as claimed by Onideus Mad Hatter in this thread is that he knew details about the owners of SASS which he passed on to someone who cared, this is supported by a post which appeared on the General Shit Talk forum on November the 18th, threatening to drop dox on the SASS admins unless SASS was taken down by Thursday the 20th. The poster claimed to have addresses of the admins, places of work, phone numbers and details of their family members and hinted at some of these details in the post. SASS was offline the following day. But, since Onideus threatened to hack and dox SASS every day, it's doubtful.

The second 9and more probable) theory discussed in this thread is that the people who paid for SASS got fed up with it having effectively proved that any thing touched by something awful goons needs to be heavily moderated or they will shit it up. All of the original moderators disappeared after the great admin5 meltdown and SASS user / SA outcast Keep it Real (KIR) was effectively given free reign - the admins believed that he would run the site into the ground within a couple of weeks and they could stop paying for it. The timetable was somewhat accelerated when pictures of KIR's sister were spammed all over the forum causing KIR to meltdown and delete SASS.

Both theories are wrong. SASS was run by Weev/Buttes and due to the admins being a bunch of fucked up junkies they shut SASS down. El fin. Please see Weev's apology video on why he shut SASS down:

SASSholes have now formed two new forums: The New Effort, which is mostly geared at the paranoid lolbertarian shut-ins, and, for those who prefer talking about farts and hockey, SmyD.

All these sites are dead and anyone still trying to keep a forum about Something Awful going is an obsessed faggot that needs to move on.

In its time SASS forced out most of the worst SA mods (including Lowtax) and destroyed the self esteem of a group of fat lesbians the only thing left to do on SASS was laugh at goons, unfortunately most of the remaining SASSers were Goonier than the Goons and then it became pathetic.

Typical SASS User

Your average SASS user.

The average SASS user is:

• a racist
• a pants shitter;
• uses Linux, BSD or a mac;
• 43-year-old Geek Squad employee;
• a cock suckin' sonavabitch;
• Hard as fuck;
• unfunny;
• posts entirely in a language of gay memes;
• indistinguishable from your typical SA goon

Subforums

There are four subforums in SASS, each gay in their own special way.

General Shit Talk

GST is for talking about the general faggotry on the Something Awful forums. There are many "post pictures of ..." threads, ranging from Goon Girls (truly frightening) to Goon black person. As well, abusive moderator behavior, Radium's incompetence and moderator retardation are all very popular topics of conversation. This forum is visible to guests.

Specific Chat About Threads

In SCAT, selected threads are highlighted by SASS's members. This usually includes goony activities, goons who ask for stupid advice (medical, programming, career and so on and being clueless lolcows in general. This forum is also visible to guests.

Serious Conversation about Mangosteen

SCAM is the cool place to hang out. You can find most of the cool people there. In SCAM you can just chill and do whatever and totally relax. "Take it easy" is the SCAM motto, for example, that's how laid back it is there. Show up if you want to have a good time. Another good reason to show up is if you want to hang out with friends.

This forum is only visible to registered members, but since registration is free if you don't register you're a dumb cunt.

Rapaciously Arguing Practically Everything

RAPE is a forum wherein various SASS members discuss serious topics unrelated to SA. It's basically SASS's political discussion forum. Most RAPE threads are related to current events or news articles, and all of them are completely worthless. Don't expect a debate over niggers to come up at least once every 3 threads. Don't expect it because no one dwelling in RAPE has anything good to say about a nigger, ever. The few RAPE threads that don't involve niggers are invariably about houses and are even more unreadable.

Effort

A short lived waste of space intended to be a place for "serious discussion" but never took off.

Best of SASS

A forum dedicated to the least entertaining and dumbest threads on SASS. This forum is read-only since these threads are so bad nobody needs to continue contributing to them, and must protect the idiots in the masses from themselves.

SASSMINE

888 LOOK AT THESE DORKS

See Also

• My Posting Career

Links

• SASS -- Something Awful Sycophant Squad, now dead. (Archived)
• Buttes -- official Buttes eBusiness Directory

SASS replacements

• Something Sensitive -- a bunch of faggots obsessing over a site no one gives a shit about. Rocket the faggot posts there.
• My Posting Career -- a racist, anime, incel and bodybuilding forum.
• S MY D -- Spinoff forum run by Trifles. For those who would rather post about toots than internet conservatism. (dead) (Archived)
• New Sass -- yet another spinoff with no posters (dead) (Archived)

888 mangosteen niggerdeath ahahahaha to0o0o0o0ot

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