John Kasich

John Kasich, also known as 1 for 50 Kasich, is the face-stuffing Governor of Ohio. Kasich ran for the GOP nomination for President in the 2016 presidential elections, wherein he won one whole state, his home state of Ohio, and even then could only manage a plurality of the vote. Kasich's campaign was so lame that Little Marco, who dropped out after losing Florida by nearly twenty points in mid-March, still won more delegates than Kasich in the end (173 to 161).

After getting raped by Donald Trump in the primaries, Kasich went on a petulant months-long tantrum, where he said he wouldn't be Trump's VP, and generally bad-mouthing Trump in the Hillary-supporting media every chance he got. Trump responded with more rape.

Some say that Kasich was never really serious about winning the White House, but rather used his candidacy as an excuse to fly around the country, sampling regional cuisine.