2600

The Communistic nature of h4X0ring - revealed!

Founded in 1823 by the well known pedophile and lemonparty regular, Eric Gorden Corley, 2600 is the longest surviving poser magazine in existence. The magazine is published in the zine format, not because it is edgy and hip, as its producers would like you to believe; rather, because it is written for and by 13-year-old boys and faggots. Consequently, most of the "content" is a diarrhetic stream of poorly edited articles ranging from "Hacking Walmart", to "Hiding Things from Your Parents", to useless verbatim source code (honestly, OMG WTFBBQ what is this, 1960?), and to the sub-literate letters from 2600 readers. 2600 is secretly owned by Barnes & Noble.

2600 also infrequently holds IRL "meet-up" events which they like to tout as a forum to exchange technology and hang out with other basement dwellers, where the height of the festivities are a grand circle jerk during which they whistle a 2600hz tone. Unbeknownst to the attendees, these meetings are really just an opportunity for the feds to take everyone's picture and put them on watch lists. These gatherings further prove that 2600 members are in fact unskilled script kiddies and not real hackers, because a real hacker would never openly admit they are one.

Not So Secret Info

2600 meets on the first Friday of every month in various locations all over the world. In New York City they meet in the food court of the old Citicorp building (the one that looks like it's on stilts because they had to build it around some church that was there). Caution: most 2600 members are also trekkies and matrix fags. Do not approach unless you're doing it for the lulz.

The Early Days

Unlike what could be gathered from the homogenized aftermath, the pre-1990 2600 was a great magazine. It featured nearly unreadable angsty and punkish articles, by guys with cool BBS nicks along with demos in phreaking phones and early UNIX systems Bell and AT&T used at the time. It resembled ED. This is a good thing since it made internet the haven for stringe pornography, shady forums and imageboards it is today. Without these fucked up teenage losers, the internet would be known as some boring corporate Disney Land.

What we fail to realize is how hard it was to get any good information before Google and milw0rm. what remains of 2600 with the cons and usenet groups, IRC channels and tutorials is nothing but the radioactive afterglow of what was once the flagship for a great movement.

The Video Game Console

2600 is also the greatest video game machine ever made, first released by Atari in 1977. It is also the most emo approved system ever made, and if you find a 2600 at a restaurant, club, or any other hangout, emo people are sure to be near. 2600 t-shirts also make you cool. Still, you don't have to be emo to like it - and you can find lots of emolators on the net for all your 2600 needs. Of course, an emolator isn't as cool as the real thing in all its vintage plastic glory.

Modern times

2600 now uses their IRC network, irc.2600.net, to chat because it's just so 1337. However, they are generally faggots that will ban you for saying the word Nigger, Jigaboo, Nig-nog, and variations of which, or disagreeing with anyone. Because you don't want little kids to be seeing that stuff, right?

Typical Table of Contents

Every issue of 2600 is completely the same as the last, each repeating information that may at one time have been relevent to computers, but by the time it hits the B&N shelves, is outdated . Below is an example issue:

Cover - features an ironic picture with subliminal phone company advertising.
Pay Phones - Because we don't have these in our pockets now. Complete with half assed captions underneath, reiterating information that can also be found by glancing at the photo of the pay phone.
Hacker's Perspective - will usually be written by an aging bluehair with little to no computer literacy, claiming he has been a hacker since he started stealing wires from Jeeps in WW2.
Advertisement for 2600 Shirts - nothing says hacker like a polo with 2600 embroidered on it.
How To - which barely qualify as how to's, because there is only so many times you can be taught basic commands for Nmap.
Advertisement for Club Mate- 2600 doesn't make money from advertisements, so be sure to buy their $40 six packs of soda for your 2600 meetings.
Discussion Time - In real magazines, this would be the Letters Column, but at 2600, this is nothing but letters written by 12 year olds and Indians, asking how to get articles published. Emmanuel JewGoldstien feels the need to respond to these, even though there is an advertisement on just about every other page explaining how to submit articles for publication.
Advertisement for a 2600 Subscription - which costs more than buying the magazine at Newstand Prices.
Coding Article - Article that teaches how to make a calculator with Visual Basic, with the entire code printed out, and a notice that you can also download the code already typed online.
Marketplace - advertisements for Super Haxx0r Universal Remotes, with more advertisements for Club Mate dispersed evenly.
Meetings - Just in time to read about all the 2600 meetings scheduled for three weeks ago.
Pay Phones -Just in case you missed the first four.
Back Cover Photos - Pictures of buildings whose address happens to be 2600.

Betcha can't wait until next issue!

External Links

2600 - If you go to jail after reading this magazine, it's not our fault. We're just the messengers.
NYC 2600 - Information about the NYC monthly meetings which neglects to say they're on the first Friday of every month. Lulz.
Atari2600.com - A wonderful site to get your 2600 gaming fix
AtariAge - The best Atari site out there. Period. Covers all Atari consoles and games.

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