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Jagex a.k.a. Fagex is a company made by Andrew Gower. A down syndrome kid jew from Cambridge, think of him as the Mark Zuckerberg of the UK. This goddamn Jew markets his shitty java game RuneScape, with all of his riches coming from 13 year old boys. The 13 year old boys who dote upon his every step have been found to be 59% furry and 100% gay. But we digress.
Facts about Jagex
Fagex is British, so you know that everyone who works there is a major Britfag or a cocksucker. The customer support also leads to a lot of butthurt from the 42 year olds who run the support, and only want sex with children. It's not surprising that people think this game is a load of shit, considering they use the most common and simple language (Java) and do a shittier job at their art-work than some of the fags from DeviantART. The graphics are like the world is to a severely autistic kid - blocky and fucked up. If, God forbid, Britain had a Better Business Bureau, Jagex would likely be shut down due to all the complaints shoved in their boxes; the number of which is said to exceed Over 9000. Some argue that number will reach over 1,000,000 by 2012. It's also worth to note Jagex is racist and hates Asian gold farmers so much that they were willing to wipe out more than half of their Run Escape customers (which they did) just to make sure there are no chinks playing their game.
Hypnotism
Despite the fact that Fagex's customer support is worse than a FEMA response team after a Cat-5, kids the world over empty their pockets and open their mouths which welcome Andrew and Paul's dicks month after month. World Economics doesn't get moar real than this.
Moar Games Besides RuneScape
Jagex has only made one actual game that took more than 5 minutes to make (RuneScape), and if you visit their website, their gallery of "games" consists of:
- Vertigo, a crap platformer where you roll a ball around on platforms to do crap. That hasn't been done before, amirite?
- Meltdown, 2D sidescroller where you shoot bullets from a ship to get out of somewhere. Hasn't been done before either, evidently.
- Flea Circus, where you herd retarded fleas out of caves. EPIC and totally original.
- Arcanists, an intense game where wizards try their hardest to cast from their magical wands. This obviously isn't a play off of Worms.
- Thirty-Six Card Trick, a lame ass pair matching game "with a slight twist" the twist is the tiles moves, Thirty-Six Card Trick is cowboy themed so naturally is filled with buttsex, kids with guns and cactus plants .
- Armies of Gielinor, a turn based strategy game based on runescape where you kill the enemy units and sieze towns and portals with yours. Obviously this hasn't been executed before... oh screw this shit.
- Void Hunters - SPACEWAR! except for ships can be bloated with jigsaw puzzle pieces, making any sandbox-obsessed Zezima-like sperm beam can PWN all others. Obviously, Zezima is already playing this (currently, member-only) crap.
As you can see, The british bastards at 'Fagex' can't come up with their own original ideas since they are too busy jerking off releasing updates for runescape and milking more money out of its players.
FunOrb
FunOrb is a minigame site made by Fagex, where many basement dwellers play the crappy 2D games mentioned above and more; nothing special. Zezima stopped wasting all his time on Runescape so he could waste all his time on FunOrb.
How to troll FailOrb
- Create a few accounts on FunOrb, Four or more should do.
- Navigate to the Armies of Gielinor game.
- Enter the multiplayer lobby and make or find a game that has these settings:
- 240 seconds turn time.
- 6-8 players (8 for maximum BAWWWWWWWW).
- Team game.
- On your first turn, have your barbarian stand on the portal, then hit "End Turn"
- On the second turn, do nothing and wait.
- People will start telling you to end your turn. If you are even more successful, they will start flaming you.
You may also resign after the first turn, leaving your teammates behind.
MechScape
MechScape was essentially going to be the sci-fi RuneScape. It cost Jagex millions to create... but since Fagex somehow figured out that it would go the way of RuneScape, it was canceled. One on hand, at least they could smell the failure coming, unlike the guys who made Tabula Rasa (what is it with sci-fi games?), but on the other, sucks to be them!
—CEO Mark Gerhard, on OOPS!; | ||
Instead, the game will be replaced with Stellar Dawn, which is essentially MechSpace's appearance and different gameplay.
Runescape has become today one of the biggest free browser run MMORPGs housing Over 9000 furry fag 13 year old boys. Jagex has successfully been able to rape all of them, especially the members "'cause it's worth it" say many of the RuneScape subscribers.
See Also
External Links
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Jagex is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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Jagex is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |