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MuchoZucko
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—El_Wanko, average MuchoSucko user, on a typical week of new content. | ||
MuchoSucko.com, alternatively known as MS, or Mucho, is a depraved internet community that congealed in a gutter sometime in 2003, as the brainchild of a brown Canadian 4chan reject who uses the alias "Yak". His vision: when a person (or worse yet, a group) is too inexpressibly perverted to be accepted on /b/, their one timorous hope of retaining humanity is lodged deep within the fetid bowels of a website that specializes in pushing the definition of hideous. Therein lies the problem; as time has passed this reductio ad absurdum-style website has held absolutely nothing sacred, and as there is no proverbial "bar" set, there is no filtering of the shitty content (anyone can submit content) from the passable content - a process known as retardification. However, throughout the years, this community has grown, like a sore on the dickhole of life; persistent, festering - and has tenaciously struggled (semi-successfully) to live through more disasters and shit than ED itself.
History
Bland Beginnings
MuchoSucko.com started off with pure intentions. Yak, MuchoSucko's creator and nerd of questionable ethnicity, originally intended his site to be for pretty cool guys. And indeed, it was - complete with exciting new categories such as Flash Games and Animation, truly setting it apart from the competition. At the time, NSFW content had not yet become the focus of the site, although it existed. MuchoSucko relied heavily on the habits of the casualfags of the internet, and their post-masturbation tendency to stop looking at porn for 5 minutes and start playing Pac-Man. For a time, this was a formula for success, and by 2004, it was seeing at least 100 unique visitors per month. At this time, users submitted content for consideration by the site staff, who had final say on what was published.
Porn Moneys
Soon after MS had established its footing, Yak made possibly the greatest business decision of all time. Due to woes with ad revenue, he did the exact opposite of what any fat Jew would do - he whored out his website with internet dating and porno advertisements, because it was better than the alternative of watching everything he had worked for turn into a vanilla-flavored shitstack.
Porn was on the main page, userpages, everywhere! He porned it up, he porned it out, he overporned! He couldn't have enough porn. This led to a change in MuchoSucko's approach to users. If MuchoSucko was going to have all this content on its main page that even ED isn't comfortable with having, it would need to attract the most vile, sordid pieces of amphibian shit the internet had to offer - and lots of them.
(Note: at this time users still had to submit content for consideration by the site staff, who had final say on what was published.)
Roots of the Modern-Day MuchoSucko
As you may have gathered from the screencap to the left, MuchoSucko was a sleazy hellscape that, when visited, left an indelible stench on your browser. It was full of sneaky pop-up windows and spyware, something that inhibits lulz for most users. This, coupled with the fact that Yak realized running a website doesn't count as a real job, led to MuchoSucko shutting down for approximately a year. However, the crafty webmaster had plans for a return; plans zooming through his head, colliding and dividing with the immense, explosive energy of the microscopic particles they mimicked. It was a dangerous situation, as these thoughts would go on to form either:
- A scheme that would put God's grand design to shame, causing the Almighty to collapse under the weight of failure and take a swig of shotgun mouthwash, sending the world into darkness.
- Something that would only make sense in a meth addict's nightmares.
Turns out, a compromise was reached inside Yak's brain - thus resulting in the website you see today; a chaotic amalgam of gore, porn, cute animals, MySpace glitter graphics, and of course multiple re-posts of old George Carlin stand-up specials, submitted by the most smug, unfunny, and unoriginal users on the site in hopes of proving how smart they are by agreeing with everything he says.
Back Online and Into The Future
With the triumphant return of MuchoSucko.com came the not-so-triumphant addition of a plethora of new features that turned the site into a tumor. There are now large, color-coated signs to "upvote" or "downvote" all content and comments, which intensifies the feelings of Unwarranted Self-Importance felt among users who try to score a bunch of "likes" with a witty pun. This has also led to the rise of memefags (even evident on the homepage), who, despite their peers' admonishment of retarded internet culture, continue to spout "u mad bro?" and "did he died?" on every violent or divisive video.
Perhaps the worst of all, users can currently submit whatever the fuck they want, at any time. Administrators no longer act as a filter for content, instead leaving the chance of a downvote, and subsequent damage of a user's "Mucho Rep", as the one element that is supposed to dissuade people from posting lame shit... Which of course has worked out great. Really.
Similarities & Differences with Chantards
Much like modern day humans evolved from their predecessors, many Muchoers, as they proudly call themselves, are the remnants of losers that 4chan discarded long ago; and as a whole have morphed into something altogether different yet the same. Despite this, many Muchoers disdain faggots who spout memes, leading to self-destructive tendencies. Comparisons between Muchoers and /b/tards are constantly being made - here, are enumerated the most prominent.
+ Like anonymous, Muchoers have a penchant for tits and especially assrape - they have adopted the motto, "Tits or GTFO", and it is quite heavily-enforced. When a female is detected in the herd, most Muchoers repetitively squawk the slogan. When no tits are provided, some even go as far as initiating salacious bouts of verbal abuse and inconsequential IRL threats. After tits are shown, the group furiously masturbates and most interest in the female is lost. Everyone, regardless of gender, is encouraged to post naked pictures of their assholes, preferably with something inside to simulate assfucking. Signs are mandatory.
+ If there is one positive human characteristic that can be found on both 4chan and MS, it is innovation. When people are uninhibited by the conventions of society, they are free to invent. For example, Muchoers discovered that a pink sock looks enough like a cock to fuck Goatse. Sauce.
+ Lurking doesn't count for shit, and members of the site will let you know.
+ Furthermore, despite the site's gruesome nature, adorable photos of kittens are always featured on the main page.
- Having said that, the stark contrasts between MuchoSucko and 4chan begin with the fact that MS has become a stripped-down, whored-out social media site, complete with "like" and "dislike" buttons. There is absolutely no sense of altruism. Think Failbook/MySpace meet Ogrish.
- MuchoSucko's fail is topped off by the fact that instead of encouraging users to create content for græter good, they are given a number of "Mucho Rep" points, that are dependent upon the quantity and quality of their submissions; a vain attempt to persuade everyone who signs up to post as much inane shit as quickly as possible, so they can become a pro in the eyes of their peers.
- And because Muchoers care about their reputation, the comment sections are made up of nothing more than flocks of mindless fucking seagulls, all scrambling to be the first one to post a witty zinger that relates to the content. This is exacerbated by the fact that they are largely unfunny.
