Greg W Howard

Greg W. Howard

File:GregWHoward umpire

Greg W. Howard is an elite form of Republican operative, highly trained in Libertarian Philosophy, and his duties today include organizing for the Tea Party. As a resident of Alabama he dwells in the heart of this real American movement

Greg has a glorious history as a United States Marine and he will kick your ass if you make fun of mock endlessly question his service.

He has had a few dark episodes over the years, but none of this was his fault, it was all God’s will.

Paparazzi caught Greg at play in 2011 in the second photo. Note the pendulous man-boobs.

Marine Corps Career

Greg likes to claim he was a United States Marine, but he was part of a special subset of Marines known as squids. A real squid has suckers, while a Marine Corp squid is a sucker, requesting shipboard duty knowing full well what will happen. Night after night, locked in the fantail of a Navy supply ship, Greg served both our great nation and the needs of his ship-bound crew mates.

His throat rubbed raw by constant watches, Greg was dishonorably discharged after dishonorably discharging himself in the middle of the mess during breakfast.

Financial Planning

Greg is a Christian financial advisor with a 12.5% success rate. That is to say he manages to declare bankrupt only every eight years, instead of the maximum once every seven years allowed by law.

His church, Wiregrass, LLC, is tied to a scammy insurance sales operation.

Massive Fan Club

As a noted thinker Greg has accumulated over 20,000 followers for his Twitter account, @GregWHoward, where his brilliant pronouncements drive his insurance business and inform others of important news.

Loved by almost all, there have been a few unfortunate events.

@AndrewBreitbart once failed to recognize Greg’s native wit and wisdom, resulting in this hurtful exchange.

Such a renowned Expert can’t help but draw a few detractors. One such detractor, the artist formerly known as Obamagician, endangered Greg’s children with this pithy pronouncement.

Greg has also drawn criticism from videographer Pumpy Beanis.

Nightly Circle Jerk

Greg hosts a nightly circle jerk on Twitter, so you can experience his penetrating intellect for yourself. He will always be accompanied by one or more of his circle of close friends and this stimulating event is often co-hosted by Patrick Swift Read. Attendees may include

@keithdatrucker
@Dr_Rose
@burntpowder
@slingbrush

The circle of FAP.