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Grandmothers

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Gray at 12:17, 15 January 2013. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
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Get offa ma farm nigger!
Grandmothers are capable of great lulz.

Grandmothers, either the bane of existence or the only thing that can save it, are known to have existed since the dawn of time. Typically they are either sleeping or giving candy to strangers. They may also be lonely and so will do anything to trap you in their house. "Grannies" can use their dentures to get you, they are sharp. Their lack of own teeth can actually become an asset with regards to fellatio. It is usually hard to use them in an insult because you'd have to say, "Your mom's mom!".

Species

  • Strange Smelling grandma
  • Funny grandma
  • Handicapped grandma
  • Liberal grandma
  • Conservative grandma
  • Mean as fucking hell grandma
  • Hilariously racist grandma
  • Nursing Home Grandma
  • Evil Senile Grandma
  • Batshit Insane Grandma
Your grandmother.
Your other grandmother.

Names You Can Call A Grandmother

  • Grandma.
  • Granny.
  • Gram
  • Toothless old crone.
  • Skankass Hoe.
  • Slut Puppy.
  • (If in the south)Mom.
  • Senile old bitch.
  • Filthy old whore.
  • Bag
  • That sack of wrinkles that refuses to die

Grandmothers on the Internets

Even your sweet granny can be a drama whore. Once she discovers the internets, she will quickly find her way into communities of people with granny-like interests (such as baking cakes and knitting tea cosies), but because she doesn't know how her computer works, she will get things wrong, piss people off and then get all huffy when they swear at her. Alternatively she will go to a site such as broadcaster and whore out her shrivelled titties for the sake of some company.

General Information

Sometimes, they have one or 20 of these and treat them better than they will ever treat you.

Known for watching "Golden Girls" and wearing pastel jumpsuits from the 80's, grandma's are a common sight among old people. On top of playing Bingo and cards, they like to show off jewelry and look for dying husbands with insurance. They can also own up to 50+ cats and never often catch fleas. Sometimes they are good for candy, presents, and holiday fun, but not if you have an evil grandmother. It sucks most definitely when the Alzheimer's disease kicks in.

See Also