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Furry Paws
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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM. |
Furry-Penises, much like its counterpart Neopets, is an online pet simulation for lonely fat girls with no IRL friends. Run by Nazis, pedophiles, and furries, the community takes the MY DOG IZ MY BEST FREND concept to an entirely new level. Whereas most retards just get a real dog to make up for their social ineptitude, players on Furry-Paws make fake ones to compete to see who can be the greatest dog breeder of all time. No one on the entire shit hole of a site has enough balls to say what they are actually thinking, because they are afraid of getting their asses Perma-b&.
Lulzdrama!!!
Furry-Paws has had many lulzy times in it's history, these are just a few of such times.
September 2010 - Snowshoe is Carlou! B&! OMG DRAMAZ!
On an epic day in history, Snowshoe was called out for being Carlou with the help of many EDiots. S/he denied it and managed to get two posts closed before our knight in shining armor spread his hands far and wide and dropped a banhammer on her ass. However, Snowshoe appears to be so obsessed with the "truth" that she continues to denies it. A few sophisticated players believed that Carlou was not a lie, and stood up for them. The post in general was a huge fail. EDiots everywhere hope this sparks many lulz, however, and expect it. They also expect Snowshoe to "quit" at least 142357 times.
The end of the drama:
On September 28th, 2010 a thread appeared containing the truth of Snowshoe and Carlou. The thread was very quickly removed by the moderators, but not before this EDiot could capture screenies and save images. These are such images, proving that once and for all- Carlou IS Snowshoe:
July 2011 - Skullsmasher fakes his/her/it/she/the death!!!! OMG so SAD )~:
In a sad attempt to get out of commissions and be a sleezy skate, Skullsmasher faked his death. Like many people before him, they obviously couldn't do anything fucking right like pretending to die and move on with life. Apparently skin cancer or some bullshit was the killer, leaving behind many questions unanswered, many BAWWWING left unheard. His girlfriend Blitz seems to go on like nothing happened, continues to sell art/post on forms even though her lover is dead and gone. Even worse, a new artist appeared right after the day SS kicked the bucket. Claiming to be SS's friend IRL LOL and that he taught her how to draw, Loveless has the exact drawing style as the old Skullsmasher and is buddy buddy with Blitz as well. Because thats what Skullsmasher would of wanted LOL. It seems he got off skott clean, keeping all the money from his poor commissioners for himself. Countless BAWWWING posts about him dying can be read on the General Board, seeing how the mods let this fly. Skullsmashers dead, end of story.
April 2012 - "HACKERS" of fp are stealin mah account!!!
Some awesome people, clearly for the lulz, acquired passwords and usernames of the most annoying people on FP and trolled. The first person to be hit was Paws, an autistic 12-year-old who was dumb enough to give out her account information as well as her full address and phone number. Soon after Cinder, Flinch, and a few others found themselves "hacked." Shazzy X is currently holding an anti-hacker campaign and giving out free FPP to those who are hacked. LOL HIT HER UP FOR FREE MONEY.
How to tell if your account is hacked? Well you can't login shit-for-brains. Your tag will be respectively changed to a picture of Chris Brown and the trolling will commence. If you see the pain series posted on the forums in your name, then you clearly did something wrong. Stay tuned for more trolling accounts.
PROTIP: There are easter eggs hidden across FP from the hacked accounts that the mods were too stupid to find. Lulz to you if you found them.
July/August 2012 - HATE SITES ARE BAD!!
Hate sites, otherwise known as "we're too retarded to figure out how to edit ED" is a collection of cancer inducing blogs hosted on Tumblr in which members of Faggy-Paws gather to spew their drama and cry about each other. They have only recently come to the attention of site owner, Kahlem, however, and due to such they are now BANNED from ever being talked about!!11 After the moderators pulled the trigger too soon and banned user Pales, Kahlem decided to announce that she can ban whoever she wants with or without proof of connection to such hate sites (but if you ask the mods its "WE ALWAYS HAVE PROOF GUISE!!!"). Some may remember this is the same sort of man hunt that went down after this ED page was created. For now, it seems, the hate sites will be opened and deleted by Tumblr within a few days, and their spread seems minimal.
Ways to Troll Furry Paws Players
- Mention your unfixed, mixed breed dog
- Own an unfixed dog
- Breed your dog (or cat)
- Say you support people eating dog meat/meat in general
- Be against gays
- Kill an animal
- Don't take your dog to a vet (even if it ONLY has a HANGNAIL!)
- Support cropping or docking (and not necessarily by a vet)
- Hate pit bulls/bully breeds
- Support dog fighting
- Remind everyone that the site's owner never does anything.
- Mention, even in passing, that you enjoy eating dog meat.
- Tell blond(e) jokes
- Say you don't support adopting from a shelter
- Post a topic that could trigger someone (rape, eating disorders, etc)
- Say you're 14 and pregnant and how proud you are to be so.
- Mention ED
- ATTITUDEEEE!!!
- Say you hit your dog
- Mention the revamp
- Hate dog update posts
- Reply to any of Abs posts with the URL to her website.
- Make rant regarding annoyance of mods
- Go to the heart of the beast: server located at 69.175.77.178; watch as basement dwellers cry over 12 hours of lost work on their dogs
- CHATSPEAK.
Furry Paws "Mature"
Recently a new website cropped up known as "Furry Paws Mature." The essence of Furry Paws "Mature" is that members can go and talk about "mature" things that they can not on Furry Paws. It has turned into, however, a "Bawwww my life sucks" website where Ieosous goes to cry about how horribly depressing her life is. When Ieosous isn't busy crying about everything that exists, the other members are crying about how their mommies never loved them, and how shitty the Furry Paws moderators are. Luckily for them, they can bitch their little hearts out and say whatever they want- because the mods had the rule books thrown at them that shows no matter what lies they create, they can't get in trouble on the actual site. (Though it certainly wont stop them from trying)
TL;DR:
BAWW BAWW BAWW BAW BAW BAW BAWWWW Ieosous' life sucks BAWWWW BAW BAW I got a warning for cussing BAW BAWWWW BAAAWWW People think my emaciated dog is too skinny and bitch at me about it and I'm such a huge cunt BAWW BAAWWWBABABAWWWW. She loves to listen to her parents have sex (as she mentioned on FPM) and refuses to realize she is spoiled. She thinks the phrase "Haters Make Me Famous" is true and loves to cause "drama" wherever she happens upon. When Ieosous is not being a spoiled brat bitching about her life she is fucking other men.
File:Fpmatureforsrs.png Furry-Paws Mature
- WARNING:
Joining FPM instantly makes you ineligible for anything on Furry-Paws. This means you can't win chat contests, you can never be an image bank rater (or have images accepted into the image bank), or a newbie helper. Basically, join under a fake name and never say who you are if you hope to be anything on Furry-Paws besides a low life fuck up (see what I mean by mods still try to get you in trouble?)*.
- this doesn’t apply to people who are already moderators, of course. How else would they spy on members?
Lupercori
"Sully is half lab and...half shitty mongrel. He is the foundation stud for the breed of dog I plan to develop using him the Lupercori (which is latin and roughly translates to Angel Wings). The Lupercori will ideally be sound dogs for both children's hospital work as well as nursing homes and even pets (like Sully, they should all embody his extreme averageness)."
Lupercori are Becky's attempt to breed a superior butt-fucking dog breed, so she can finally have something to shove her strap on woman-penis into. "Demo Dog. Life Guard. Search and Rescue Dog. CGC, TDI and a bunch of other letters. He is one awesome dog and an absolute joy to work with" translates into "Will lick peanut butter out of my butthole, like my many fat fan girls on FP who have no idea I am actually a woman".
Becky justifies creating this mystikal dog breed to the twelve year olds on FP by falsifying her fugly mutt's titles and by writing small novels in response to one line questions of which she cannot answer, and by cleverly distracting them by dropping hints about pizza. She also claims that in the 21st century she has no way of proving her dog's titles, getting a video of him actually working, or pictures of him doing anything. Besides jumping off children's playground equipment of course. But there was the time when they all decided they wanted pizza hut, so they conferred for a short duration, agreed on a compromise between half meat lovers (Becky loves meat) and pepperoni, but then decided pizza hut would take too long so they debated about dominos but is it really artisan they asked themselves? But surely they couldn't lower themselves to papa johns, that would be blasphemy. What they ended up getting was little ceasar's and boy was it delicious.
This breed has yet to exist because nobody in real life is able to understand what a "lupercori" is or why a black dog that looks and acts like every other black dog in shelters across America should reproduce. But hey, pizza.
See Also
External Links
| Furry Paws is part of a Series on Cyberpets |
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Furry Paws is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Furry Paws is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |