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Juggalo Holocaust
The Juggalo Holocaust was perhaps the most successful attempt at trolling Juggalos in the entire history of the internet (and that's really, really saying something). A project spanning several years, many lulzy things came out of the JH, not the least of which was the discovery of renowned ED superstar Jolene JRyda. Like all good things, it was eventually raped by faggots until it turned into a hideous cesspool of unfunny and fail. But it was pretty epic while it lasted, and it will forever be remembered as one of the greatest chapters in internets history (or at least as somewhat amusing).
History
A challenger appears
Sometime around 2008 or so, a concerned citizen posted the following definition of "Juggalo Holocaust" to Urban Dictionary:
"The juggalo holocaust has sparked much interest in the Juggalo/Juggalette family. So far, 20-25 juggalos have been shot and killed whereas 6 juggalettes have been raped. Rumor has it that this "Juggalo Holocaust" started in Beerfest '04. The attackers are said to wear the initials 'JH' on their shoes, shirts, and some even had bandanas. Any juggalo or juggalette that spots someone with these intials need to stay in large groups and in very lit areas. Be aware of everyone and stay down with the clown. Dont let these idiots stop us."
This resulted in a nationwide panic sweeping over the Juggalo community. Yes, really. Dozens of pimply-faced high school nerds in clown paint shat themselves in a collective state of paranoid psychosis, afraid to set foot outside of their houses for fear of being stripped, raped, and strangled by JH militia soldiers. Not that Juggalos ever set foot outside of their houses in the first place.
This concern eventually became so widespread among the Juggalo community that it reached the Jew clowns themselves when a frightened Juggalette asked about it during a call to Blaze Ya Dead Homie's internet radio show, who responded that the holocaust is not real and he has never heard of it.
Pretty soon, it became apparent that this epic work of trolling was the product of internet forum Land of the Banned, a place where lonely nerds congregate to make fun of other lonely nerds. Some argue that these people are actually closet Juggalos, since, like Juggalos, they spend most of their time talking about ICP on the internet. While probably true, it does not negate the vast amount of lulz that the JH has managed to generate.
The Esham Chronicles
A few years prior to all this faggotry, a rapper from Detroit, Michigan named Rashaam Attica Smith, better known by his stage name Esham, was signed to Psychopathic Records. Like all black artists that ICP signs to their record label, he was given zero promotion and forced to pick cotton in the fields while everyone else went on tour. Eventually he was kicked off the record label, at which point no one else in the music industry wanted anything to do with him (which is understandable, because who wants a bunch of meth-addicted rednecks to attend their concerts?).
However, Rashaam had a plan for revenge. Using his last remaining $50, he bought an hour in the amateur music studio located in his local shopping mall and recorded an album subliminally dissing ICP and Juggalos. He then gave it away at The Gathering of the Juggalos 2009. A few months later, Juggalos slowly began to realize that they had been trolled. This resulted in dozens of YouTube videos where Juggalos argue with each other about whether or not the album was a diss. Esham, sensing another opportunity for lulz, put on his very best trollface and announced to everyone that the album was recorded in-character and wasn't meant to disparage anyone. More YouTube drama ensued.
Esham later died penniless and alone on the streets of Detroit. Rest in peace.
JH trolls the FBI
Not even the party van was safe from the epic trolling of the JH army. In late 2011, the FBI released their "National Gang Threat Assessment", in which Juggalos are officially recognized by the federal government as a violent gang of criminals and drug addicts. This resulted in ICP filing a lolsuit against the FBI, which is still ongoing. According to a document obtained by the insane clown plaintiffs via FOIA request, the FBI's classification of Juggalos was partially based on entirely reliable information from the JH wordpress blog. GG.
It all goes to shit
Sometime in 2013, the site's administrators sent out a mass email saying that they were sorry for hurting everyone's feelings and they never meant for the forum to ruin our friendships. The forum was then closed down. Then it was reopened a few days later by the same fucking faggots under a new domain name. The new forums have absolutely nothing to do with the Juggalo Holocaust, making them a complete waste of time. The only lulzy thing that happened during this period was the discovery of local ED legend Jolene JRyda, who brought a fresh dose of humor to the now lulz-starved and dying JH movement. However, this was not enough to save it, and the Juggalo Holocaust was pronounced dead on October 20, 2013.
Key people
- Esham: A Detroit rapper with near-unsurpassed levels of faggotry and unwarranted self-importance. He is best known for getting a record deal with Psychopathic Records and later being kicked off of Psychopathic Records. He got so butthurt about this that he started making music for the Juggalo Holocaust. Also generated much lulz and butthurt himself after making a song about killing Violent J on Halloween.
- Mastamind: Another Detroit rapper who is a Juggalo and regularly performs at The Gathering of the Juggalos. He posts on the JH forums; no one is sure why.
- Kaiza Killa: Some nerd who posts porn on the LOTB forums. He also apparently wrote a book about the good deeds of Adolf Hitler. He's a complete and utter faggot, don't give him attention.
- buttsecks: One of the main trolls behind the JH and dedicated champion of our great master race. Allegedly a female, but we all know that this is not true.
- Killa Mo 187: Fat fuck, epic lolcow, and dedicated mascot of the JH movement. After the JH army began their campaign to rid the internets of Juggalo scum, Killa Mo declared an e-jihad and formed his own personal army of semen-guzzling wigger clowns to counteract the JH movement. Needless to say, he failed, and was then rewarded with his own sub-forum on the original LOTB site. Also considers himself a rapper and has released several mixtapes so awful that they make ICP sound like Beethoven by comparison.
Media
One of many, many songs where Esham subliminally disses Juggalos. Most of them still haven't caught on. Notice how the cover art is of a clown shooting itself in the head.
Previous Video | Next Video |
Gallery
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Delicious.
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Juggalos are a dangerous and violent gang.
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JH are the ones responsible for making our good friend Jolene JRyda a minor internet celebrity.
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More typical Juggalo parenting skills.
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Official poster for ICP's new movie.
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A magazine by Juggalos, for Juggalos.
See also
External links
- Official web site: http://juggaloholocaust.com/
- Official Wordpress: http://juggaloholocaust.wordpress.com/
- Official Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NUKETHECLOWNS
- Archive of the old forum: http://www.lotbjh.athena-server.com/
- Comparatively boring new forum: http://www.lotbxiii.com/
Juggalo Holocaust is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article November 30th & December 1st, 2013 | ||
Preceded by Mikevirus |
Juggalo Holocaust | Succeeded by Incumbent |