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ForeverKailyn
"ForeverKailyn" aka Kailyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes (fka KaiKhaod, LilKaiKaiz, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn) is a fat, lazy, white trash 23-year-old self-proclaimed YouTube Beauty Guru, Socialite and Makeup Artist from Bowie, Maryland. To the rest of the world, she is a source of lulz, scandals, and retard drama.
The most notoriety linked to Kai was her feature on Vh1's Best Week Ever blog for her signature "Hey Everyjuan" video intro phrase, and her segment in Willam's Beatdown: Episode 9.
As of February 2014, Kailyn has gone into hiding after her most recent scandal.
—Kailyn Marie Wilcher Hughes | ||
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Sunflower Associations
Personal Life & Family
Disability ass demon Kailyn Marie Wilcher (aka Kai (kay), ForeverFailyn, Kailyn Wilsher, Demon Kai, Kween Kai, Kaka, Kaivman, Gorilla, FAS rere, Potato head Retarded thing, etc.) was birthed on May 18th 1990 to Lisa Sokoloski Wilcher (aka Mama Wilsher, Mama Wheelchair, Mama Alchy, MW) and dirty ape beaner Michael Wilcher (aka Papa Wilcher, Papa Wilsher). Kailyn was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Asperger's Syndrome which has given her a lulzy speech impediment as well as retard-induce cuntiness. Kai's parents are separated, and Kai lives as a "stay-at-home daughter" with Lisa in a Bowie (aka Booie) mansion decked out in nothing but the most glamorous 1970's decor, and the finest of dinnerware, flatware and drink ware: paper plates, and plastic utensils and cups.
As soon as Mama Wilsher found out her precious potato head was retarded and deformed, Kai was doomed forever. Mama Wilsher tried enrolling Kai in various elementary schools before pulling her out of retard classes so she could do all of Kai's homework at home (The Sunflower Academy) and let Kai rot in the Lavender Dungeon known as her room (formally Pink Dungeon), which has resulted in Kai having the reading level of a second grader. Due to her moron of a mother, Kai has never been told she has any disabilities even though she has a hockey-stick palmar crease, a symptom belonging to only those with FAS, and was thoroughly retard-tested as a small demon.
Lisa works from an in-home salon, Lisa's Hair Shanty, twice a week doing old lady perms for the neighborhood hags while getting inebriated. Kailyn says that her dead-beat, enabling mother is her best friend, but in reality she's her caregiver and scapegoat for when a Kai scandal breaks.
To support his pride and joy, Michael works at a courthouse cleaning air vents and is forced to live off microwave dinners in his shitty shack to ensure Lisa and Kai live a subsidized life.
Kai's extended uselessness of a family includes her Uncle Stephen E. Sokoloski (aka Uncle-Papa Stephen), his wife and kai's archenemy, her 5 year old cousin, Eli who all live with granny, Dorothy Sokoloski. Her grandfather, Stephen R. Sokoloski, passed away at the Wilcher estate sometime in 2007 in the midst of Kai's $500 monthly MAC makeup hoard-hauling.
The Kween blames Uncle Stephen for giving her pizza face genes, while Papa Wilcher's family is blamed for her being a walrus.
Diet & Hygiene
Kailyn has admitted she does not use a shower and does not wash her own hair because she gets shampoo in her eyes. Kai is often seen wearing her dandruff as a hair accessory, and showing off her buttery teeth covered in plaque. Once a week, Mama Alchy hoses Kai off in the driveway and washes her hair in the Shanty's shampoo bowl to keep the fat beast from stinking up the mansion too much.
To add to the smell, the Kween has been steadily gaining weight since her start on Youtube. Every year the trolls harp on the obese whale and the following year they're more surprised than ever with her weight gain. At 5'2", the trolls estimate Kween Kai was nearing 200lbs in 2013 and are convinced she's well over 200lbs as she now has a massive shelf-ass, has moved into plus-sized clothing, and was forced to move up to a size 10 shoe due to her obese flippers.
See Imgur album of the Kween's favorite foods.
Bella
Lisa bought Kai her one and only friend, Bella, a derpy mutt sold to them for thousands of dollars under the guise of being a purebred Yorkie. Kailyn claims she "would love Bella even if she was a horse". When Bella is not shitting and pissing all over the Wilcher mansion, because she never gets to go outside, she is being crushed by the retard-strength of her owner and suffocated by the fart wars in the Lavender Dungeon. For entertainment purposes, Kai often sprays air freshener in Bella's face to make her "act silly".
Friends
Besides superficial friendships with fellow failures on youtube, Kai has only ever mentioned having a single friend, who is no longer her friend because she's a darkie.
David (Boyfriend, 2006-2011)
David (aka Davit) is Kai's only love. They started dating when Kai was a mouth full of teeth attached to a 15-year old potato head retarded thing. Davit is a fatass who liked to party, drink and dabble in drugs, and was the only person to ever introduce Kai to socialization. Early in their relationship Kai and her mullet became pregnant with Avery Juan 1.0 but ended up aborting the demon at Davit and Mama Wilcher's demand. Throughout their 5 years together, Kai began her scandal timeline including camming, shoving her saggy gorilla tits in his friends' faces, having a 3-some with Davit and his friend "hot dave", and targeting Craigslist for trannies and dykes to calm her retard-hypersexuality. But in the end, Kai's retard-hypersexuality and selfishness ruined their relationship. In 2011, Kai broke up with Davit on blog-tv to appease trolls telling her to do it for the lulz, and soon after ended the relationship for good.
After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an innocent victim, she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.
Matt (Husband, 2011-Current)
Matthew Todd Hughes (aka Matt Drost, Goomba, Madd, Hubby) is a fat, dough-faced, retarded fag lover living in Maryland's "country" working as a cart-pusher at Wallyworld. Kai met Matt in the fall of 2011 on Plenty of Fish while he was still dating Maureen Lewis. Mama Wilcher chaperoned Kai to Starbucks for a date with Matt while she supervised them from the parking lot. Three short months later, Matt proposed to Kai with a fashion ring from Wal-Mart.
On April 13th 2012, Friday the Thirteenth, lulz were had. Kai and Matt arrived in their most dazzling attire to be wed at the elegant St. Mary's County courthouse. Kai wore a dollar store tiara with an ill-fitted $20 dress from Kohl's, while Matt simply rolled out of bed and dressed himself in a Vintage McDonald's employee uniform.
Matt has shown sexual interest in the gays by pretending to hate them, and even making his potato head wife go to church to cure her of bisexualism.
Mooren
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Maureen Elizabeth Lewis (aka Mooren, Momo, Nignog, Nigger, Niggereen, Nigress, Ape, Chimp) was first introduced to the internets after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a batshit insane welfare nigger with naturally drunk eyes, slurred speech and, like Kai, a lulzy speech impediment. Matt denied knowing the wild ape, but was dating and having sex with her for several months before his new deformed retard, Kai, came into the picture [1][2].
Upon Kai's arrival, Matt ignored the nignog and lulzy obsessed stalking ensued. [3]
—The ravishing phrase Mooren repeated while stalking Madd at his work | ||
Mooren found forums and blogs online dedicated to trolling the FAS queen and started posting dirt on them. At her stalking peak, Mooren showed up at Wal-Mart several times a week and finally filmed her encounter with her ex, Matt. The crazy nignog has since slowed down, but is still stalking the couple. Trolls will only bait her for the lulz.
Married Life (2012-Current)
As of 2014, Kai and Madd live separately with their parents. Kai continues to live with her caregiver in Bowie while Matt lives with his white trash parents, Mary C. Hughes and Todd D. Hughes, and 27-year old Kai-esque sister, Amber, in Leonardtown. In the past, Matt would drive to Booie to visit Kai several times a month, but has since realized his wife is a hideous whale and now only visits once a month to pump his whale full of sperm. When confronted by the trolls about her shitty marriage, Kai insisted Matt lived with her in the glamorous Wilcher mansion. In the midst of yet another lie, Kai was caught after trolls found her uploading to instagram with geotags in Madd's location. In the beginning, Matt thought Kai was internet famous and thought he would get worshipped, but trolls have since drove him off the internet forever. Soon after, Matt started to control Kai's internet access and if Kai disobeyed, mandatory beatings were had.
Pregnancy (2013)
The FAShionista had just turned 23 and having been a waste of space, she was desperate for a purpose. Fortunately, Avery Juan 2.0 aborted itself in March of 2013. Months later, our FAS queen succeeded in conceiving an Avery Juan 3.0 and is expecting her fatass, middle-aged stans to buy her shit for her soon-to-be government leech. Kai continues to purchase hundreds of dollars worth of makeup to add to her hoard every month despite the anticipation of her retarded potato spawn's arrival in July 2014.
Since Kai has no friends, Mama Alchy will be holding a baby shower involving their 5 family members and another was claimed to be hosted by the in-laws' church, Callaway Baptist Church. The church has since denied the claims and is disgusted that it has been associated with such a retarded potato head thing.
The Beginning: KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations
KaiKhaod [chaos] began her Youtube career in 2007 with a misspelled username and the most lulzy wtfery to grace the Youtube makeup community. The FAS teen made her appearance with a beautiful, bleached mullet doing makeup reviews and tutorials while being high as a motherfucking kite which only emphasized her tard talk. She is a fan of makeup-turned-mommy vlogger, xSparkage, and aspires to be just like her. Coincidentally, Kai and xSparkage became pregnant at the same time.
The KaiKaod channel was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynKreations, which was also rage-deleted when a new scandal emerged.
The YouTube Sensation
ForeverKailyn (Deleted)
Kailyn's lifeblood, her bread and butter. Boasting a high of almost 13,000 subscribers and averaging between 1,000-3,000 views, it has taken Kai several years to get to such shitty success. Kai had her Google ad revenue disabled almost as soon as it was granted due to the Kween clicking her own ads in hopes for bigger paychecks[4]. Her uploaded videos include 20 minute foundation applications, Wal-Mart clothing hauls and, in the past, outfit of the day (OOTD) videos which have ceased due to overexerting her fatass to show an outfit. Occasionally, Mama would forget to give Kai her aspie meds and Kai would upload videos of her singing and dancing or babbling about nothingness. Rating are always disabled on her channels because the rating bar is always red.
SincerelyKailyn (Privated)
Kai created her SincerelyKailyn channel under Mama Wilsher's or Madd's personal information after she was offered products from a company requiring her channel be under Google's ad revenue terms. The channel content was mainly vlog-targeted, beginning with lifestyle vlogs, kitchen vlogs, and recently - pregnancy vlogs which involve her reading a pregnancy app on her iphone 4 not 4s.
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Infamous Scandals
Kailyn is best known for her many scandals, averaging at least one big scandal a year. When the mean pretty lady trolls catch on, it blows out of proportion and our Kween rage-deletes her social media accounts and privates her YouTube channels, only to come crawling back when she's bored.
N00ds, Cam Girl, Cheating
In 2008, Naked photos were leaked after Kai sold her cellphone and the moron forgot to remove her SIM card before sending it to the buyer. The photo-leak included her 'shampoo bottle' picture depicting a travel-size shampoo bottle jammed in her angry vag-hole. It was regrettably seen by many but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Since then, Davit has leaked a couple more including a disfigured vag photo.
Kailyn created a MyFreeCams account under the username GirlyBrunette. This was her source of nickles until a horny troll accidentally found her flashing her gorilla tits and eating pot pies on cam. Kween Kai logged into her account a final time, only to ask horny pedos to help her delete her account.
In 2011, Kailyn was caught with online dating profiles and was using Craigslist to look for random sexcapades, announcing in the ads that she was bisexual, trans-curious and interested in teen-aged girls. Some of the craigslist girls took pictures with Kai, which Kai then uploaded to the internet and passed off as her 'friends' even though they were never seen again.
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Eat my puthy! -
I'm 12 and what is this? -
She's a lot fatter now, guys. -
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The fucking pot pie. -
Caught in the act. -
Appetizing.... -
In all its uncensored glory. -
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All that remains of the infamous shampoo bottle photo.
ForeverPoor
Kailyn took a 40-hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a certificate of completion in a makeup artistry course. Considering the fat moron never properly graduated high school, she thinks her 40-hour completion is equivalent to a beautician license. Even so, for 7 years she's done the same makeup application with the only variable being the colors. Once confronted for being such a piece of shit, KaiKaiz decided she was a retarded shampoo girl in Mama Alchy's salon for a week.
—ForeverKailyn, on why she doesn't have a job. | ||
Shortly after, Kai said she sold Scentsy and Avon, although she eventually admitted nobody had ever bought anything from her. She has went as far as making an interview OOTD and a video announcing her interview to shut up the trolls but her interview was canceled due to snow melting before it hit the ground an hour away. She now claims to get her money from YouTube ad revenue, holiday money, and Social Security Disability Income (SSDI). Kai has mentioned that she never intends on gaining employment since she created her own internet-meets-reality demise. More importantly though, she's married so she doesn't need to work!
Now that she is pregnant, she has announced she will be a stay-at-home mom "forever".
Pink Wednesday
After her Yahoo email was hacked, it was revealed that Kailyn often contacts companies begging them to send her free shit in return for a useless, aspie review video. An upcoming company called Pink Wednesday (a play on a quote from the movie Mean Girls), contacted Kai asking her to review their beauty and bath products. She agreed to review the products, not realizing she was only honoring us with the lulziest review of pseudo-products produced by none other than an internet troll. When it came to light that she had been pranked by a fake company, and that the body spray possibly contained cat pee, Kailyn promptly deleted the review and made a video fishing for sympathy.
Rape Accusations
On October 2, 2013, Kailyn and Matt allegedly raped their friend A. In February, the scandal was announced to the trolls after a troll pretending to be a stan baited Kai for personal info. Kailyn brought up the rape herself, saying that A was "too drunk to chew her food", and that herself and Hubby, Madd, were placed in separate police cars for questioning. The accusations were confirmed online by Bowie police reporting a forcible rape call on Kailyn's block that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote contradicting social media statuses on Kai's behalf saying it was all a "misunderstanding". After realizing she had turned even the most politically correct, social justice communities against herself she deleted everything.
On February 22, she reactivated her Facebook to post her email for anyone who wanted to continue buying her things off her baby registry.
Kaivman Vocab
- Materny layins: maternity leggings
- 'ply: apply
- quessioneer: questionaire
- Ta Jay Mai Hai: Taj Mahal
- pink slice: pinksickle
- albertross: albatross
- prennit: pregnant
- Limmidishon: Limited Edition
- hallow every Juan: Hello Everyone
- ith: It's
- Davit: David
- Madd: Matt
- eeewwguyth: You guys
- thuper: super
- Husbint: Husband
- katvondy: Kat Von D
- Weddin' wild: Wet & Wild
- buddin: button
- drewberry moore: Drew Barrymore
- cowide: cow hide
- Rosebud slave: Rosebud salve
- Shore: sure
- cayoot: cute
- stuneen: stunning
- priddy: pretty
- Trentin cream: tretinoin cream
- snifficently: significantly
- Sowrecksy: Siouxsie
Miscellaneous
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You can never trust that she's telling the truth. -
After 7 years of doing beauty videos, she's perfected her on-screen application technique. -
Obviously she knows what she's talking about. -
Kailyn and her hubby Matt.
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Lookin' for her next man. -
A whale in its natural habitat. -
One of her more amusing live chats.
See also
- Fat
- Aspergers
- Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
- Chris Chan
- Attention Whore
- White Devils
- Unwarranted Self Importance
- Fugly
- Walmart
- Internet Celebrity
Social Accounts
Her Facebook
Instagram- Parody Instagram
Beauty YouTube Channel
Her TumblrPinterestDeletedwebsiteDeleted
Parody Twitter1 Abandon- Parody Twitter2
Her CafeMom profileDeleted- Imgur album (troll archive)
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ForeverKailyn is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |