Generation Alpha

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What a funny way to parent your child!

Generation Alpha (or the iPad kids) are the next generation of brain-dead newfags birthed between the years 2013—2025. Following the eventual death of the Gen Z age, Alpha was spawned. Caused by years of irresponsible parenting, Gen Alpha are known to have an extremely retarded sense of fine-motor skills and are unable to understand their environment, rarely agreeing with the outside world unless it was proven true by social media apps.

Unfortunately, many of these individuals have reached the age of inhabiting high schools (oldest of the bunch are now 14-years old...) But, in the time they are not at education, it is essential for them to cozy on in and play Roblox first-person shooters, YouTube Kids Cocomelon and Skibidi Toilet on their rat infested iPad screens, all the while their own parents occupy themselves with devices.

And as for the Gen Betas – they haven't been born yet. Though they're on the horizon. God only knows what their humour will be. For now (as of november 30, 2024), they are a bunch of sperm cells until 2025/27.

Faggotry

They seem to be the faggier younger siblings of younger Zoomers. The Generation Alpha influencers are mainly retarded toy channels made by their parents. However, as the oldest Gen Alphas start becoming teenagers around 2025-2026, that might change and a new era of JewTube (and/or ShitTok) might begin.

Education

As schools become more retarded, the generation becomes more retarded as well. With the increasing trend of addiction to technology and especially iPads, some kids don't know how to read or write by the time they're a teenager.

Notable members of Gen Alpha

• People in elementary school

And others that nobody gives a shit about.

See also

• Sandy Hook - The proper way to deal with Gen Alpha kids.
• Children - who all Gen Alphas are as of 2024.
• Gen Z - their older siblings, sometimes parents.
• Millennials - their parents.
• Gen X - sometimes their parents.
• Baby Boomers - they're also parents!

Generation Alpha is part of a series on Generations.

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Baby Boomers • Generation Snowflake • Generation X • Millennials • Generation Z • Generation Alpha • Le wrong generation