Mötley Crüe

Typical Mőtley Crűe practice session. Totally not gay..

Teh Band

Mötley Crüe are shitty band of dirty Jewboy Americunts. Shitty people playing shitty semi-satanic music for even shittier kids to listen to while doing shitty drugs. When they're not playing thier god awful music they're usually addicted to heroin, porn, domestic violence, and vehicular homicide. They appeal to pansy edgelord kids because "herr durr they is into like Satan and drugs and stuff". Women's clothing, makeup, hairspray, and semen help make up the band's trademark look: That of a quartet of cross-dressing kids with an eating disorder. The last time we saw a group of pussies of this caliber was during the French surrender during World War II. ~~On the bright side, they don't have any niggers.~~ Tommy Lee became a rapper.

Members

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Vince "I'm OK to drive" Neil

Vince Neil (powerword Vincent Neil Wharton) is the band's singer. Also known as "fatass", He's your typical blonde-haired, lipstick-wearing, Glam-Rock, Hair band faggot who sings like an epileptic chicken with its nutsack on fire. His looks were a cross between a bulimic Axl Rose and Axl Rose's lesbian sister, who also happens to be bulimic. As the years have gotten the best of him, he now looks like the human personification of too many Denny's Grand Slam Breakfasts. I guess that's what happens when you quit the yayo diet. Known largely for killing his friend by driving like the drunken, drug addled dipshit he is, somehow between Vince, a real musican, and a cool car, he was the only one to survive. Neil, taking a play out of Tommy "Wifebeater" Lee's book, has been charged with various forms of battery several times, at times one of his 4 ex-wives. He was temporarily replaced by John Corabi giving the band it's only chance to make any good music, but lo and behold the band took him back. Also had a kid that died, lol.

Nikki "Got some H?" Sixx

Nikki Sixx, (powerword Frank Feranna Jr.) is the band's Bass player and token emo. He never really learned to play any instrument so like most bass players, he is totally fucking useless. He is known for terrible music, even worse songwriting, and several unfortunate recoveries from heroin overdoses. Like Vince, he too has given a just and caring god ample opportunity to snuff him out, but apparently god is neither. Instead the world has been forced to endure decades of the band's antics, music, and soaking up of the drugs the public needs in order to handle said antics and music. Seems that for some, all that Satan-worshipping really paid off.

Mick Mars after having his soul eaten, probably by that fat fuck Vince

Mick "I'm too old for this shit" Mars

Mick Mars, is the band's lead guitarist. The only member with even a modicum of musical talent, why his old ass is hanging around with these retards is anyone's guess. Also the only member of the band that doesn't have a extensive arrest record, his having black hair, tattoos, and an abundance of ugly are the only things that make him fit in. Despite being horribly disabled he has been romantically linked to some hot chicks, further proving supernatural meddling in everyday life.

Tommy "Wifebeater" Lee

Tommy Lee is the band's drummer. He is known for playing his drums upside-down, weighing less than one of the Olsen twins when they were 12, and beating women. Despite the fact he looks like an evil gameshow host, he has been romantically linked to several women who Ediots would likely fap to, once again proving women are dumb and Ediots are desperate. When he isn't using his baby-momma as a punching bag, he spends his time being a disease ridden, bulimic junky. He is also known for making Pr0n with a sperm-sponge known as Pamela Anderson and having sex with a boat. Both Pamela and the boat contrcted Hepatitus from said encounter. Ain't love grand?

John "Nothing to see here, please move along" Corabi

John Corabi, What can be said abount him? Nothing, just nothing. Spending four years with the band and not contributing a single useful thing is the totality of his legacy. There has never been a person with such an identity crisis, he has posed as so many other singers and completely missed the mark every time. If you described what traits the singer of a shitty hair-metal band should have to your grandma, John Corabi is exactly what she would think of. He doesn't even have enough of a presence for people to hate.

"Musical Style"

Their style is 5% heavy Metal, 5% Satanic droning, and the rest a cacophony of shit and fail. Amazing basslines, rythmic percussion, harmonic guitar riffs, they have none of those, relying solely on Vince Neil's cat-torturing vocals to drown the rest of it out. If AIDS and Cancer had an illegitimate crackbaby, it's cries would immediately be recorded so Nikki Sixx could start on the lyrics to accompany it on a slow, arduous trip to the lower levels of purgatory. Unfortunately the band would likely not follow it's lead. The following is a list of things they like to "sing" about:

Drugs
Satan
Drugs
Wyminz
Love
Drugs
More Satan
Murder
Rainbows
Drugs

Albums

Too Fast for Love: Emo love songs and hate.
Shout at the Devil: 23% MORE EMO, also a bunch of Satanic shit.
Theater of Pain: It's flagship song was someone else's.
Girls, Girls, Girls: Yep, that's what they're trying to be. Also, notice they didn't name the album "Women, Women, Women". Pedobear approves.
Dr. Feelgood: The band is supposedly sober during this time, it didn't help them.
Mötley Crüe: They fired Vince, made this turd, then begged him to come back.

Nothing further worth noting.

Typical Mötley Crüe Faggotry

Noted as "The world's most notorious band", they have inflicted their "music" upon an unsuspecting world for several decades. Their normal routine is make shitty music, tour playing shitty music, do drugs by the truckload and somehow survive, beat women, piss off everyone outside America, rinse, repeat. No four people have contributed more reasons for the civilized world to hate America, Americans, and everything American than these four idiots (five if you include Corabi).

Fans

Ways to piss off the Mötley Crüe fandom

Tell them Axl Rose could kick Vince Neil's ass.
Tell them Axl Rose DID in fact kick Vince Neil's ass.
Tell them you don't like the way those chicks dress.
Spell the band's name Motly Crew.
Continuously mistake them for the band Poison.
Tell them how Vince should still be in prison and he didn't get nearly enough time.
Tell them the band's best work was with John Corabi.
Say things like "Anyone can play the drums upside-down, but can Tommy Lee refrain from beating his women?"
Tell them Home Sweet Home is the theme song for an all-gay prom.
Argue that Nikki Sixx used to be in The Village People.
Ask when they're going to play "Karma Chameleon".
Ask how Tommy Lee's T-cell count is doing.
Point at a picture of Mick Mars and ask if it is his funeral photo.
Say they stole their style from Slayer.
Ask them which one wrote "Smokin' in the Boys Room".
Compare them to drag queens or cross dressing transvestites.
Call them semen chugging Glam-Rock Faggots.
Play super dumb and mistake them for KISS.
Say that they look like a bunch of butt pirates.
Say that they copied WASP.
Mistake them for WASP.
Mistake Mick Mars for Blackie Lawless and then when corrected say they look like they were seperated at birth.
Laugh at their spandex and call it "Gimpy".
Attend their gigs and tell them to "Play some Skynyrd, man" bonus points if you can get the definitely wasted white trash crowd singing Sweet Home Alabama.
Call them Gay Area L.A Posers.
Refer to them as Nick Mars and Micky Sixx.
Call anyone who listens to them a Poser and explain to them that the vocalist sounds like an obnoxious buttbender.
Mistake them for Twisted Sister.

Music

Gallery

Mötley Crüe Gallery About missing Pics

These chicks are flat.
Spandex almost hides the mileage on Nikki's vagina.
Fat, Stoned, Dead, and Stupid. In that order.
Look how tough they are.
Here they have 3 Vince Neils.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Tommy Lee in her natural environment.
DO IT FAGGOT!
Sixx showing his (lack of) skillz.
He stole the hat from Slash after a night of man-on-man action.
Wrong fgt died.
Motley Crue, Post-op.
Their fans line up for a little sex and violence.
One autograph = four black eyes.
Corabi tries to be like Nikki Sixx.
Corabi looks like Axel Rose here, minus the ability to kick Vince's ass.
Here he tries to look like Rob Zombie, doesn't have the gay factor exact, but an OK try.
He's even trying to look like the chick who sings for arrowsmith.
Willie Nelson does NOT approve of Corabi's bullshit.