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6 BONG
People on 4chan share their tales of England.
- >go to England on vacation with some friends
- >we have to meet at the hotel at 9pm
- >it starts to get dark out
- >got to check my watch
- >I forgot it
- >decide to go ask someone
- >find someone to ask
- >ARE YOU WIMBLY FOURS MATE!? IM CRIMBO NINAN SIX APPLE SMIBBLY DIN BIBBLY CHAP
- >have no idea what he just said, ask him to repeat
- >YOU WOT M8?
- >he starts to laugh maniacally
- >Big Ben rings out
- >everyone stops in the freaking street
- >a carriage with the initials HRH rides down the street
- >the freaking queen herself sticks her head out
- >OI YOU GITS DID YE HEAR THAT!? IT BE 6 BONG
- >driver pokes his head out
- >6 BONGERS!?
- >another man leaps out of the sewer
- >6 FECKING BONGERS!?
- >people start pouring out in the street
- >YA WANKERS IT BE CRIMBO SIX-A-BONG
- >store clerks and chimey sweeps chanting SIX A-BONG SIX A-BONG
- >we try to get away, the filth is choking me
- >SIX A-BONG SIX A-BONG OLLY JOLLY ITS SIX A-BONG
- >the lyrics drown everyone out, can't avoid dancers
- >BANG UP THE KNACKERS AND SMACK YER MUM-
- >OLL IN THE STREETS ITS SIX A-BONG
- >fish and chips being thrown into the air en masse at this point
- >someone pulls out a Britsh flag and starts waving it while singing God Save the Queen
- >several men are being beaten to death with cricket bats
- >a 1950s style police box materialises out of thin air and a man with a long scarf gets out
- >our freaking faces
- >Be American
- >Vacation in England
- >At a cafe, looking for food that isn't chicken masala or tea
- >Queen of England rolls up in a horse and buggy
- >on the wrong side of the road
- >OI YOU LOT WUSSAT TOYME?
- >stand there helplessly confused
- >wax sculpture of the terminator emerges from the other street
- >royal band appears behind the queen
- >assaults the wax Terminator
- >meanwhile Queen is shaving her legs outside of her buggy
- >OI YOU LOT BLOODY IDJOTS WOT BONG N THE CLOCK IS IT
- >people start panicking because big ben hasn't gone off yet
- >I look at my watch
- >it's 6 PM
- >"Hey, it's six pm"
- >SIX PIMS? THE FAK IS A PIM YOU ROLLY JOCKINGWIGGLE
- >he pulls out a gun
- >It has a watch on it
- >OI YOU LOT IS 6 BONG
- >big ben rings
- >a loud voice comes on the speakers everywhere
- >IT'S 6 BONG YOU LOT 6 BONG
- >buses of people go by screaming "6 BONG"
- >mfw
- >go to London, England for a business trip
- >go to a rental car kiosk to rent a car
- >"hello, I'd like to rent a car"
- >"OI WOT DID U SAY"
- >"I'd like to rent a car please"
- >"A CAR? YOU MUST MEAN AN AUTOMATED ROLLINGHAM"
- >"yeah sure"
- >he gives me the keys to a car
- >get to the car
- >it has two brake pedals and one doesn't even work
- >can't understand how to get it moving
- >go to return the car
- >the guy refuses and says some gibberish on how it's supposed to be like that
- >decide to take the bus instead
- >get to my hotel, there is a bar across the street and my room isn't ready yet so I decide to stop there and see if I can catch up on the broncos game
- >take a seat, everybody is watching some guy playing some wierd golf/baseball hybrid
- >bartender yells "OI M8 WOT WILL IT BE"
- >"a beer"
- >"A WOT NOW?"
- >"a beer"
- >"A WOT?"
- >point to a guy across the bar holding a beer
- >"what he's having"
- >"OH YOU MEAN A FIZZLY WIZZLY WOBBLY POP"
- >"yeah that's what I meant"
- >he pours me a beer
- >it's warm
- >tell the bartender it's warm
- >"IZ DERE A PROBLEM WIT THAT M8"
- >everybody is staring at me
- >"n-no"
- >go back to drinking my beer
- >ask the bartender if he could put the football game on
- >"OH YEA THE MANCHESTER UNITED GAME IS ON"
- >he turns a soccer game on
- >decide I have had enough of this backwards place
- >finish my beer
- >give it the applause it deserves
- >everybody stares at me
- >the room is dead silent
- >slowly back out of the bar and run to my hotel room
- >go to england
- >head to restaurant for food
- >watch is set to timezone of hometown
- >ask someone what time it is
- >TOYME? WOTS THAT?
- >notice he doesn't have a watch on
- >no one in england has a watch
- >big ben starts to chime
- >everyone stops what they're doing to count the bongs on their fingers
- >man crashes his car trying to count the bongs
- >waitress drops my order on the floor to count her fingers
- >man running down the street: OI IT'S 7 BONG
- >mfw
- >Be American
- >Go to Europe on holiday
- >Picking up bags at the baggage claim
- >As the bags are coming round people are clapping
- >Ask someone what is going on
- >"Oh it's just what they do here"
- >Confused but leave Airport
- >Trying to hail a taxi but not working
- >People are just clapping in the street
- >Taxis racing to get to the people who are clapping
- >Lift my hands up ready to clap
- >Everyone stops what they're doing
- >Looking at my hands with tentative eyes
- >I close them together and make a clap
- >Suddenly everyone around me is clapping and applauding my clap
- >Taxi races directly at me
- >I hop in
- >Ask to get to my destination
- >Notice the fare is only going up in cents
- >Get to destination
- >Start paying the guy in cents
- >He yells at me
- >"SIR WHAT DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING?!"
- >I tell him I'm paying him
- >"LISTEN JOHNNY FOREIGNER WE ONLY TAKE CLAPS ROUND HERE SO YOU BETTER PAY UP OR ILL HAVE TO CONTACT THE AUTHORITIES"
- >Grudgingly clap 350 times
- >Notice the taxi drivers face slowly lighting up as each clap is delivered
- >He's consciously waiting the next one as if he forgot the last one
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6 BONG is part of a series on Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |
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6 BONG is part of a series on Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage. |