Godzilla

Still a better kisser than you.

The living embodiment of badassery, ladies and gentlemen.

	“	If you watch Godzilla backwards, it's about a giant dinosaur that sucks fire from buildings, repairs a destroyed city, and moonwalks back into the ocean	„
	— Teh Internetz

Godzilla (or Gojira as everybody's favorite basement dwelling Asians call him) is the King of the Monsters, and the undisputed legendary ruler of you, your mom, and everything awesome in your pitiful existence on this shitty planet. He was created by a bunch of wrinkly PTSD Japs because a bunch of Americunts pwned the shit out of a country that would later be known for turning boys into manchildren and the production of Hentai. He then went on to fight a whole batch of retarded monsters that were clearly made on the budget of a pack of ramen in about three minutes. After 60 years, he is still known for kicking some major ass, and is now famous again for starring in a movie (for a whole two fucking minutes!!!!11) where he enjoys decapitating a giant parasitic spider bitch for the lulz.

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Movies

Godzilla has stared in 29 movies, because Toho knows if they try to do anything else aside from having a bunch of faggots dress up in rubber suits beating the shit out of each other, they will totally suck ass at it. No, we are not including the 1998 abortion, because of reasons every other fantard nerd on the internet had stated. For some reason, American distributing companies just DON'T WANT THE SAME FUCKING MOVIE TO HAVE THE SAME GODDAMN TITLE.

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Godzilla, making Japanese taxpayer money go straight down the crapper since 1954!

Gojira (1954) aka Godzilla: King of the Monsters (1956) - The original that started the whole shitstorm. After getting #rekt by the Jewnited States of Americunts, a bunch of hacks decided to rip off The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms in order to get across a message the Cold War was already proving for them. It stars a a giant dinosaur coming out of his underwater lair to serve up some nice, crispy Asian meat because he's awake and pissed. He is indestructible until an emo scientist makes a bathtub toy that destroys oxygen. After he kills himself, everybody and their mother cries.

Godzilla Raids Again (1955) aka Gigantis the Fire Monster - Aside from a ridiculous and laughable U.S. title change, due to a complete retard, the movie is known for having Godzilla's first enemy to fight. A giant, spiked armadillo named Anguirus, who fights Godzilla because he said something about his mom. Godzilla then gets burred in an ice avalanche thanks to a bunch of jets, only to break out seven years later to fight another asshole.

King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962) - The only cinematic crossover fight that doesn't suck dragon cock. After growing ten times in size and getting a makeover that makes him look nothing like the original gorilla, everybody's favorite horny primate wants to fight a fire breathing behemoth (good luck with that...) Kong gets completely owned until he suddenly gains the ability to generate electricity in his palms, and they both fall into the ocean. Kong emerges, supposedly victorious, only for any reasonable person to figure out Godzilla is going to drag him underwater and literally make a bloodbath out of him. Contrary to popular belief, the deleted scene where Kong attacks Godzilla by flicking his own shit at him has not been discovered yet.

[MORE TO COME...]

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