Homocide

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Alan Sullivan (aka homicide, homocide, homeless homicide or simply hobocide) is a long time #ed chatter. While he has always been quite retarded, recently his retardation increased to extreme levels which led to the creation of this page. This poor man seems to have an obsession with marriage and enjoys freeloading off people around him irl and on IRC. Why he has reached these levels we will never know, but we do know that the luls will be victorious once again.

	“	I'm a chain-smoking loser with a serious complex or two	„
	— Hobocide - Say what you want about this man but he does have insight

Alan's high levels of retardation include but are not limited to (in no particular order):

Being homeless because he's a lazy turd with zero skills
Begging for lunch money on IRC
Being hated by his entire family
Working at McDonalds (meat boy)
Working at Wall Mart (also meat boy)
Working at Checkers (you got it)
Getting fired at a hosting company
Begging for lunch money on IRC
Pretending a fellow female #ed chatter was his wife
Creeping on every single female on #ed
Visiting a fellow female #ed chatter without permission
Trying to move into a fellow female #ed chatter's house for free
Being in a Facebook relationship with IHM and pretending its a joke
Begging for lunch money on IRC
Trying to marry IHM

Hobocide's Diary

Alan kept a diary for a long time. Here are a few carefully selected highlights of his impressive life for all to enjoy. If you wish behold the entire diary please click here.

Somwhere in 2006, dear diary...

So far, my vacation to St Pete has been interesting. I've been arrested, drunk, molested, drunk again, molested while drunk, rejected, molested, and then drunk and yelling at people at the mall while wishing I was being molested again.
 
Glad security doesn't pay sh*t worth of attention. e_e;;
 
Other than that, I'm attempting to procure a ride back into O-Town (no, not the boy band) so I can get a job and pay off my bank because they're out for blood this time! Blood! Nyaaah!
 
Other than that, my social life needs a complete overhaul, because I have come to the realization that I am a chain-smoking loser with a serious complex or two. And I like to yell at people, which does not help me make friends, as opposed to what I was previously convinced of.

Please enjoy the pretty mugshot on the left. Now onto some sexual harassment.

In other news, I could be facing a sexual harassment lawsuit because of me flirting  at work. Thing is, I talked to the chicks  I flirt with at work about it, and both of them said they know that I'm just having fun, so I dunno. If I keep my shit straight and make sure I watch what I say to people, I should be all right. If not, it's a learning experience. A bad one.

Sure Alan, they all know it's just a joke. You're not trying to get into their pants at all, everyone knows this. Moving on, let's play the violin for the next entry.

Well, I'm out of Orlando. Probably this weekend. Gonna go up to Volusia County and stay with Kim and Joyce (see: aunt and grandmother). Things down here in Orlando are going smashingly well, like always. Circumstances are pretty much forcing me out however. I can't get even a crappy entry-level position job at Mickey D's or RaceTrac, then I might as well look for other prospects elsewhere.

Also, Doug got me a job. And then I dicked around and got fired after working for 3 days. Go me! After applying to every fucking thing in town, the one place I never thought of took me (lol buffet), and I shat on them. I'm definately working towards the future.

The future sure looks bright for this strapping young man, he is a real go-getter and a great addition to any company. Let's not paste everything in here so if you want more lulz please read the entire blog. Be warned though, mostly he's just bitching about having no money, moving around and being fired (yes that is actually his life).