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Liberal media
| Uh oh.. |  | Liberal media is a bit short on content, and may leave you wanting moar. You can help by adding relevant content, pictures, links, drama and lulz. Be sure to improve the article, not mess it up. For tips, read The Manual. This article has been tagged since September 18 |
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The liberal media is a form of old media. It consists of NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox News (After the First Republican Debate in 2015), your mom, and basically anything that's even remotely left of far right. The liberal media is often known to shoot out delusional spin.
People will suggest that there is no such thing as the liberal media. These are the same faggots who circle jerk to the news because they think it is some holy pursuit of truth that leads to the betterment of society, and journalists are the holy oather takers who keep a vigilant watch on the facts kept in balance by the weight and responsibility of their reputations, the only thing that they have in this world that is of value. All who oppose are heretics who seek to taint the truth and spread lies to lead the flock of sheep to the slaughter.
Basically they see the liberal media as a religion, and they are right. The liberal media is a lot like the catholic church, they pretend to be holier than thou, they diddle your children (both metaphorically and literally) and when they fuck up and get caught being worthless hypocrites they get moved to a new location and go back to doing the same shit because they all about hustlin' fo' money. They shout down those who bring up inconvenient facts because it fucks up their money making scheme for ad dollars, jew shekkles, and CIA funding. And the easiest way to insure this doesn't happen is to shun the nonbelievers as evil.
Flavors of liberal news media
Liberal media is meant to be easily consumed and compliment other forms of liberal media. While this would be called synergy if productive members of society were doing it, journalists are lazy overly, over paid, opinionated cunts so it is much more akin to circlejerking. Flavors include:
- Internet "journalism": Flavor profile: Shit with sprinkles on it This is the lowest of the low. It has zero nutritional value due to a willingness to say and do anything possible to get you to click. Internet journalism has no defenders, as no one can deny its bad for you and has only a handful of sweet spots that are easily tainted by all that shit. They also use tracking beacons to profit off of selling your personal info to anyone and sell you ads in the form of "news". As if that weren't shitty enough, they also try and push ideology because all of the writers for these sites are either college dropouts or have useless degrees that are not in their field of "work". If you wanna fuck with them sign up for [1], where you can pretend to be an expert in something and since they are too lazy to fact check anyone the will believe you.
Contents: failed college dropouts, SJW Faggots, failures at life with useless degrees, pseudo intellectuals, blatant lies, ads pretending to be news, stolen content, collusion, viruses, beacons, trackers, and pandering
Warning: internet "journalism" is highly toxic and should be disposed of safely and immediately. May cause, but is not limited to, viruses becoming unlikable/uninformed/an sjw, and will sell your info
- Punditry: Flavor profile: junk food chips. While it is possible to get some nutrional value out of this and it okay to indulge in now and again when bored, it is in no way good for you in large quantities. Consuming pundantry in small doses will give you enough to socially interact, large amounts will make you a fat, smelly, unlikable and cause regurgitation of the junk you just consumed. Pundints will often use the brand recognition of their companies to give an internet "journalist" friend an opportunity to leave their toxic shit pit. With our flavor profiles, this is akin to making a dip with the the shit with sprinkles and serving it to viewers because they believe this is complimentry when in reality they are just making their companies brand worse. The saving grace is that they aren't selling you the news as ads but instead are selling you ideology and making shit up as they go along to fit their narrative that their corporate masters agree to. They frequently will cover the same topics over and over because punditry is like running a 24/7. If you wanna fuck with them sign up for [2], where you can pretend to be an expert in something and since they are too lazy to fact check anyone the will believe you.
Contents: Unwarrented Self Importance, ideology before facts, fake stats, smug faggotry, coverage of what people post on twitter, "expert" interviews from a random person they found on HARO the backs their predetermined conclussions
Warning: Consumption of Punditry in large quantities will cause you to buy the same exact book (but with a different title) every 6 months, cause delusional thinking, cause verbal diarrhea from regurgitating what you consumed and make you unlikable
- Nightly News: Flavor profile: stale bread This has okay amounts of nutritional value because it only has an hour time slot and then goes away. Consuming Nightly News will give you vital nutriance, but often has filler such as fluff pieces, or reporting on pundantry. It is impossible to consume too much of the nightly news variety because it is designed to be bland so no one over consumes. Pundantry and Nightly News will occassionally mix, and go together about as well as a stale sandwhich with nothing but chips.
Many assume Nightly News is always good for you, but due to issues in the manufacturing process it, it is not uncommon to come accross contaminants such as Brian Williams making up a story about his helicopter being shot down... or pretty much anything for that matter, and will occationally have to do a recall of their product in the form of a retraction. Fucking with them using HARO will not work unless you live in the area near a tradgedy or claim to know a mass spree killer and can get on a live feed, then you can troll them hard.
Contents: Failed Actors, Failed comedians, Smugness, Unwarranted self importance, Pundit coverage, Tragedy porn, made up glory stories, PR company spin
Warning: Nightly News can occasionally contain trace amounts of lies or government propaganda.
- Print Media: Flavor profile: KFC The nutritional value on this varies. The local side dishes tend to be healthy for you as it will only contain news in your area or verified national news. National papers tend to have high fat and sodium content in they will allow for editorialized contend sides; stale bread nightly news or pundit chips. There have also been many issues with cross contamination with internet "journalism" getting in their news and running sponsered content. Luckily some people realized this and stopped consuming this type of media while others decided they wanted their contaminants straight from the source and began shoveling Shit-Sprinkled. If you wanna fuck with the editorials that are unresearched shit sign up for [3], where you can pretend to be an expert in something and since they are too lazy to fact check anyone the will believe you.
Contents: JEW OWNERSHIP, Unwarrented Self Importance, fake stats, smug faggotry, coverage of what people post on twitter, "expert" interviews from a random person they found on HARO the backs their predetermined conclussions, Failed Actors, Failed comedians, Smugness from believing print makes the story legit, Unwarranted self importance, Pundit coverage, Tragedy porn, PR company spin, failures at life with useless degrees, pseudo intellectuals, blatant lies, ads pretending to be news, stolen content, collusion
Warning: Cross contamination from Internet "journalism" is common in print media, if you choose to consume print media try to keep it local to minimize risk
Liberal Media is just a conspiracy theory
In all honesty suggesting that there is even such a thing as a liberal media, or that the media is colluding, mass censoring, all interconnected, being manipulated by the CIA, or refusing to cover big stories to get advertising dollars from companies in scandal is just silly.
The most riddiculous tin-foil conspiracy tard crap is that the CIA controls and colludes with the liberal media. Sure, a ridiculous lie was invented back in 1950's because the CIA has a small operation where they did manipulate the media. Sure project mocking bird was something that existed but there is no proof the CIA is still doing it anymore. Next will try and say that Project Mockingbird changed from the direct payment methods that caused them to get caught in the 1970's, and now filter the cash through think tanks, non-profit groups, and shell corporations in order to be harder to trace. THAT IS INSANE AND YOU ARE STUPID FOR THINKING THIS! You can trust the government unless republicans are in the presidency. I bet you are a Gamergate loser who believes DIGRA was trying to alter human behavior through videogames. You're so stupid
That is the problem with conspiritards like you, you believe anything just because it sounds like some kind of bizzaro plot to a movie. Like the crazy idea the media is censoring the news for political purposes! That is insane! Sure, Sweden has been censoring the media actively for over 5 years to keep leftists in power and yes Twitter, a real time news site is actively censoring conservatives while allowing terrorists like ISIS to use their service for recruiting and Zuckerberg got caught on a hot mic agreeing to censor Facebook of anything critical of Merkel and her refugee policy and sure, "non partisan" "fact" checking site Politifact lied about Trump exposing the censorship of German media and awarded him lie of the year despite it being true but that happened to stop hate speech and to prevent giving a voice to those who enable hate speech, so it's not censorship.
And don't try and say because Jews like George Soros who owns and invests in most of the media are trying to manipulate the news just because Soros once said “I carried some rather potent messianic fantasies with me from childhood, which I felt I had to control, otherwise I might end up in the loony bin.” and “I admit that I have always harbored an exaggerated view of my self-importance—to put it bluntly, I fancied myself as some kind of god”. None of those statements mean anything and if you speak poorly of Soros,YOU ARE AN ANTISEMITE!
Seriously, what kind of crazy person are you? Believing the jews run the news media! That is retarded. Let me guess I bet you also believe the media colludes together just because of the Journos list? Do you ever take off your tinfoil hat? Sure, Ezra Klein controlled the forum's membership and limited it to "several hundred left-leaning bloggers, political reporters, magazine writers, policy wonks and academics." and yes, Klein justified excluding conservatives from participation, and sure there was a "conspiracy" to prop up then Presidential candidate Barack Obama that was carefully orchestrated, but who hasn't been part of a funny lol work email chain letter? Next you will tell me some blatant made up bullshit like Videogame journalism did the same exact thing to launder money to one another, collude narratives, rig gaming awards, sell friends videogames, and shill projects. God, you are stupid.
Drama on teh internets
About 100 years ago, Dan Rather showed documents about Bush's service during Vietnam. Of course, teh internets swooped in and proved the documents to be false. Rather blamed the Microsoft Paperclip. Of course, this whole situation is considered an old meme since no one really cared in the first place. Citing the liberal media is also a great way to end any argument with a liberal. For example:
- Prima: "I don't think things in Iraq are going well because today 45 people were killed."
- Secunda: "Well thats nothing but delusional spin from the liberal media. I bet you didn't hear that the side of a house was painted blue in Baghdad! Why do you hate America?"
Entire websites are devoted to this, and usually consist of God fearing American heroes who will stop at nothing to destroy the communist networks. Exposing the fact that Google is liberally biased and exposing the liberal bias of Saturday Night Live are sure ways of inspiring drama in the masses.
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