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Klaus Barbie

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Nikolaus "Klaus" Barbie (25 October 1913 – 23 September 1991) was a prestigious SS officer who was known for his elite Gestapo tactics. He-- to this date-- is seen as a war hero in Germany, having killed countless numbers of French Jews for the betterment of society, earning him the nickname "The Butcher of Lyon." The United States knew how badass Barbie was and admired his Jew killing skills, so the CIA hired him to go to South America and help them blitzkrieg the dirty banana monkey communists out of the continent. He went on do elite Nazi things like stage a coup in Bolivia where-- unfortunately-- Jews were scarce, so he had to settle for Communists. Much to Klaus' demise, the Evil Zionist-loving United States ironically back-stabbed him like the dirty Jews he slaughtered. They sent him back to France where he was indicted for "War Crimes Against Humanity." Failing to recognize the awesomeness of his endeavors to kill Jews, the fucking kikes convicted him of several counts of some fabricated Semite bullshit, and he died in prison as a beautiful martyr for the Aryan Nation and white people for the rest of time. His last words were: "Those fuckers Jew'd me. Heil Hitler!"

In commemoration of Hauptsturmführer Klaus Barbie, Barbie, a fashion doll, was created by Matell in March 1959. The Barbie dolls were all glorious white Aryan toys with which young white girls could play and learn to hate Jews. For almost half a century, Barbie dolls were mass produced for pure-blood white girls until the evil minorities started to take offense to the fact that all Barbies were white at the dawn of the 21st century. Now, Nigger Barbies, Spic barbies, and other- ambiguously- raced Barbies can unfortunately be seen on store shelves. Amazingly, even a Jewish Barbie was attempted, however, due to the fact that 95 percent of the world hates Jews, every single doll of this Jewish doll line were appropriately shipped to the toy factory where they were all gassed and melted into glue.

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