Alex Mauer

ATTENTION! This luser is a lolcow, and should be trolled to death in the usual fashion. You can help by posting their nude pix or spamming their talk page.

Anyone up for a round of the crying game? Alex Mauer is actually a tranny.      Enjoy your cock!   8====D (_(__)

Alex Mauer (Full name: Alexander Thomas Mauer), is a chiptune musician known for making the soundtrack for many different video games. But then, everything changed when transgenderism attacked. Last Thursday, Mauer went from being a chiptune musician, to one of the Internet's biggest lolcows overnight. Amongst his many delusions Alex believes himself to be beautiful woman trapped in the body of a stubby fur matted Jell-O troll with virginal rage. In reality he's a self-hating homo who just can't accept that he likes a pos load in his tubby rectum. Pretending he's really a woman is his way of bypassing his butt bumping phobia and staying safely in the closet. Where he pleasures himself to pecker porn whilst fondling his hairy, hormone grown, lopsided lard swells; dressed up like a frumpy lesbian wearing a greasy wig and cheap lipstick.

Look at that badass

Behind The Music

But first, a little background into the dumbass tranny of the month. Alex Mauer was an aspiring chiptune artist, who was a composer for hire. For years, Mauer made many different scores for a variety of vidya, such as River City Ransom and Duck Game. However, one game in particular is what lead to the saga you are about to witness, and that game, is Starr Mazer DSP.

When The Hormones Take Over

Once Alex, or as he wants to be called Lexi Mauer, started taking his hormones to have his dick chopped off, he began to change. First he deleted his Bandcamp, Soundcloud, and Twitter, only to bring them back months later. Then he realized gender transitions are expensive as hell, and being a chiptune artist doesn't bring the big bucks. So he looked to his latest contract, Starr Mazer DSP, and demanded they pay him more. After a brief contract dispute, Mauer managed to get the game pulled from Steam, but not get more shekels. He needed a new plan, but what...

Episode 1: The DMCA Menace

"...that's it!" Said Mauer. "I'll make an army to attack the devs!" To signal boost his cause to get the shekels from the goyim, Mauer sent DMCA takedowns on any Jewtube video involving Starr Mazer DSP. And by any, I really mean ANY. Any video that appeared in the search, he DMCA'd. Proud of himself, he prepared to mobilize his new army against the goyim who didn't pay him, and said he would reverse the DMCA if they did. But then he was shocked to discovered that Youtubers are not his personal army, but that people wouldn't dare take his side after he abused the DMCA and threatened their Jewtube Careers.

Previous Video | Next Video

Episode 2: Attack of the LOLs

Oy vey

So where do you go from here? Well if you were a sane person, you would apologize and beg for mercy like the spinelsss cuckold you are. But if you're a pre-op tranny, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

Round 2, Alex Mauer double downs on the DMCA takedowns, now sending them to any game that features his music. After the second DMCA wave, Mauer changed the price of all his music on his Bandcamp to $1,000! But wait! There's more! Order now, and he'll throw in a Cease & Desist to Turner Broadcasting over Duck Game! Yes, that Turner, as in Cartoon Network, CNN, and Adult Swim Turner.

Episode 3: Revenge of the Tranny

As all these sagas were going on, literally everyone is covering Alex Mauer as if it was GamerGate again. No one had ever used the DMCA like this before, so it's no surprise people would be furious. Mauer just continued sending DMCAs after DMCAs, even DMCAing an interview he did with another Jewtuber! After Jewtube user SidAlpha, AKA GreyWolf779 called Mauer out on his shit, Mauer then started sending death threats to him! After sending those threats, Mauer's hormones wore off, and he realized what he did. He then declared himself mentally ill, and went to go get help.

Alex Gets Help aka Emperor Trans Isn't Wearing Any Sanity

Alex has a very colorful history of incidents in which he's exhibited unstable, violent and belligerent behavior, both on and offline. To the point where having the police routinely turn up to drag the ding off to the padded care center for a psych eval is just a regular weekend occurrence for Hairy Bloat Face.

The latest incident involved Alex randomly reporting a rape. Yes, Alex claims that his butt virginity was forcibly removed sometime back in the Bush administration and for some reason he just never felt the need to mention it until now. The authorities told Alex to go to a rape center for women to seek legal help, as there wasn't much they could do since he was just making random, off the wall, decade old accusations and allegations.

Unfortunately for Alex, since he is not actually a woman and is also completely fucking insane, they told him that he was beyond their help. This in turn caused Alex to sperg out uncontrollably at the WOMAN'S RAPE CENTER where he terrorized the victims of ACTUAL RAPE by throwing a giant man-tantrum, violently destroying their property and attacking staff as he screamed about wanting a knife to castrate himself. Presumably he was under the schizophrenic delusion that his testicles were somehow responsible for his insane behavior and not his botched up brain.

This resulted in the police showing up to tackle the tubby troll to the floor where he was cuffed and hauled off to a sedation party at Loony Land to get his head checked for mind mites chewing through the fabric of his naked sanity.

ZOMG HE'S GOING TO KILL HIMSELF!

File:Alex Mauer - Suicidal Threats.png

If there's one thing Alex excels at in life it's screeching for attention. Likely as a result of helicopter parenting and unrestricted upbringing, Alex knows that if he's not getting his way all he needs to do is throw a giant temper tantrum. From threatening to hold his breath as a child all the way on up to threatening to kill himself as an adult, this tranny train wreck knows all the classic attention whoring moves.

Unfortunately for Alex he's no longer a child, but an actual adult and as such he's expected to act with some degree of self-restraint and to put his childish self-importance aside for the responsibilities of manhood. His wanting to become a woman is a sort of manifestation of his inability to escape his arrested development. He can't cope with being an adult and handling adult level responsibilities so he retards back into what he actively perceives as the weakest, most victimized medium... the female form.

And then from there he acts like an irrational lunatic when he isn't treated like a cock princess, using his self-diagnosed transexuality as a convenient scapegoat for his willful attempts to avoid taking responsibility for himself, his actions and his self-inflicted misfortunes.

Judicial Bitch Slap

Alex was recently stuffed back into the box of crazy he popped out of and got legally ended in every way imaginable. It may have been a long and arduous legal fight, but if anything it sets wonderful precedent for why transsexuals need to be classified as crazy and kept in check in order to prevent them from using their deranged insanity and detachment from reality as a means of attacking others and inflicting financial damages.

Alex Throws A Tranny Tantrum

You'd think Alex would have learned an important lesson after getting his proverbial e-pecker legally lopped off, but instead of being an obedient little man bitch and getting his ugly ass to the kitchen to make sandwiches, he instead tried desperately to cling to his self-maligned manhood. This manifested in the form of breaking the court's orders (which he agreed to), repeatedly, as he slandered Imagos on his Twitter page, as well as openly insulted and verbally attacked the judge, frothing off a magnificent tranny tirade of insanity that culminated with incessant, harassing phone calls to the judge to whine about how unfair his new station in life was.

The judge could only put up with his irrational hormonal hysteria for so long before he finally ordered Alex's mutilated snatch back into court on December 18th, where the little man-bitch is likely to get another good hard slap across his idiot face to remind him that he's no longer a man and that the court refuses to recognize his hurty feminine fee-fees.

Previous Video | Next Video

External Links

•  alexmauermusic
• Kiwi Farms Thread
• Mauer's Bandcamp
• Shocker. Mauer has an IMDB page

Alex Mauer is part of a series on Music Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.