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Kate Spade
|
Kate Spade | |
|---|---|
| Given Name(s) | Katherine Noel Brosnahan (maiden name) Kate Spade, (Married Name) |
| Nationality | American |
| Ethnicity | Drunken Belt Eater |
| Genus | Fashionista |
| Species | Hipster |
| Occupation | Sammich Maker and Designer |
| Born | December 24, 1962 |
| An Heroed | June 5, 2018 |
| Method Of Self Deletion | Hanging |
| Residence | New York, New York |
If the totality of your contributions to the human race include marrying David Spade's less talented brother Andy that gave us such famous French theater ripoff such as The Black Baloon and starting a fashion line in the oversaturated market of cheap, fashionsble, quality grandma purses, you would kill yourself too when you have a face that looks like it was run over by a tank tread and your husband found himself some Strange and was asking for a divorce. Being mostly of Irish heritage there are many that believe alcoholism may have played a part in her death.
Life
Katherine Noel Brosnahan was fortunate to be born into a Shanty Irish, Catholic family whose father had enough self control to know when to put the bottle down so he was able to give Kate a better than average life as he owned his own road construction company.
Like all Catholic Irish girls, was dumped in a Catholic School from the time she was able to walk to learn upstanding Catholic values for Women such as making sammiches, boiling the flavor out of roasts, using leather belts as a flavor addictive and pushing out kids like a factory.
Following her graduation, Kate Spade became confused because of the tragic Feminist movement and became convinced that she was capable of being more. In 1985 wearing shoulder pads, a Dynasty style haircut and Liz Taylor perfume, she graduated with a degree in journalism.
It was her Catholic life that brought her back to a near feminine lifestyle. Not liking the lifestyle of being a journalist, and actually having to work, Kate Spade heard the call of her uterus and was called to fashion, pretty dresses and other proper girly things because she wanted to have a baby.